His and Her Health

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Breakthrough Book For Couples Suffering Premature Ejaculation
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What is premature ejaculation (PE)? You might expect that this is an easy question to answer, but it depends on whom you ask. Masters and Johnson (1970), the founders of modern sex therapy, stated that a man has PE if he ejaculates before the woman reaches orgasm in 50 percent or more of their sexual encounters. PE is sometimes defined as a problem accomplishing a "normal" length of time between insertion and ejaculation. Studies have even defined PE by a specific amount of intercourse time: less than one minute, two, three, four, five, seven, or 10 minutes, each amount based on a different reason. Still others have proposed to define PE by the number of intravaginal thrusts: eight thrusts, 15 thrusts.

The best professional description of Premature Ejaculation is that the man does not have voluntary, conscious control, or the ability to choose in most encounters when to ejaculate. We think this is the most helpful definition because conscious control reflects the interpersonal, cooperation, and intimacy issues for couples better than some mechanical or numerical definition.

Contemporary popular culture dictates that to enjoy sex maximally, the man should be able to last at least an hour during intercourse! Such myths about sexual performance are among the most negative influences on male and couple sexual satisfaction.

Kevin and Monica had the most common sexual problem facing young couples. Kevin suffered from Premature Ejaculation. Both blamed Monica's nonorgasmic response on Kevin's Premature Ejaculation. They believed that if Kevin could last longer, Monica would easily be orgasmic during intercourse. Sex would be perfect every time. It was Kevin's duty as a man to make sure Monica had an orgasm during intercourse each time an extraordinary pressure on Kevin and his penis.

Kevin did some Internet research and read how easy it was to cure Premature Ejaculation. All he had to do was practice the squeeze technique (which we do not recommend), in which the man or his partner squeezes the underside of the tip of the penis to delay orgasm. He was very hopeful, but that broke down within two weeks. Kevin was stymied, and Monica resented his being a technician rather than an involved lover. Sex was no longer fun; it was a chore. Kevin was frustrated with Monica and with himself. He thought that everyone else quickly developed ejaculatory control. What was wrong with him? Or was it her fault? Maybe they did not love each other and this was a doomed relationship. Would Premature Ejaculation destroy their marital bond?

Our Comprehensive Approach

If you are facing Premature Ejaculation in your relationship, and especially if you are a couple who has tried the common techniques for treating Premature Ejaculation and failed, we offer you our extensive experience, our clinical knowledge, and a detailed approach to treating Premature Ejaculation. Our approach integrates the body, mind, and relationship aspects of Premature Ejaculation to help you appreciate the complexity of your problem, develop understanding for yourself and your partner, build empathy for each other's experience of Premature Ejaculation, and create a detailed plan to organize your efforts to change. This biopsychosocial approach will not only help you overcome rapid ejaculation but deepen your intimacy and sexual joy.

How much do you really know about Premature Ejaculation? Take this true-false quiz before reading further.
True	False	Most men engage in intercourse for 20 to 30 minutes.
True	False	A good lover prolongs intercourse until his partner has an orgasm.
True	False	Women function like men: they have a single orgasm during intercourse.
True	False	Men who ejaculate after two to seven minutes of intercourse have poor ejaculatory control.
True	False	Premature Ejaculation is caused by too much masturbation, especially during adolescence.
True	False	Thrusting alone is enough for most women to have an orgasm during intercourse.
True	False	Premature Ejaculation is always caused by psychological problems.
True	False	To deal with Premature Ejaculation, the woman needs to be less erotic and the man has to reduce arousal.
True	False	Premature Ejaculation is nature's way of increasing fertility.
True	False	Premature Ejaculation is a symbol of a relational power struggle.

In fact, each of these items is false. Old and new myths about Premature Ejaculation abound. In this book we will confront myths, including that Premature Ejaculation is a simple, painless problem; intentional; purely psychological; the woman's fault; a sign of sexual inadequacy; caused by masturbating too much or too fast; a sign of hostility; a symbol of male selfishness; the same for everyone; a problem with only one cause and one treatment; and a hopeless problem.