His and Her Health

my girlfriend and I have been sexually active for 8 months and now she wants to stop. i dont want to stop but yet i dont want to seem like an ass. she has a past with a guy where she had sex with him 5 times in two days and i keep thinking about that. i cant seem to get over her past because im worried that he somehow was better. she says he wasnt but can i believe her. this is a sensitive subject for the both of us but it is tearing us apart. i just want some girly advice on why she would want to stop.

Juzten,

First of all, only she can tell you why she wants to stop and it's important that she do so. It could be anything. If she can't or won't tell you, you have serious relationship trouble.

As for her past experience, if it was before you and she were together, you need to let it go, man. There isn't anything she can do to erase what happened in the past. The fact is, she's not with him anymore and she's with you. Does that tell you anything?

Do you think there could be any relation between her desire to stop having sex with you and you harping on this past experience of hers? Hmmm?

Juzten,

I have a smiliar situation with my husband. We are religous and waited to have sex till we got married, however I had had sex before we got married and he didn't. He worried about the same thing, but really didn't verbalize his concern. I can tell you that I never compared him with my ex. Never. Because he was the man that I was with and loved. I know its really hard to stop wondering if the other person is better or if she thinks that. I am telling you that I never compared.
Another thing that may help is to really pay attention to what she likes sexually and do those things. What makes for good sex is the emotional connection between two people, not so much the quality of performance. Yes it does help but the emotional connection is what makes love making and sex feel the best and if you are the person she choose to be with then you are the Man who can give her the best sex of her life.
As far as her desire to stop having sex with you, ask her why this is important. If you can't have open communication and trust in a relationship then what do you have. Maybe something happened to her in her past that you are unaware of maybe something is going on now or happened. Tell her that you love her and respect this, if you do. Tell her that you are always there for me and are ready to listen when she needs to talk. Tell her because you love her it is hard for you to ignore the sudden change in her desire and will give her time to open up but that in order for you to have your feelings taken care of that this needs to be discussed.

Good luck,

Missy

<small>[ 08-17-2006, 04:49 PM: Message edited by: Moderator ]</small>