His and Her Health

Hi there everyone. I have to tell you, I really was inspired reading "New Bride's" postings and all of you that had such great advice for her.<P>I just wanted to throw my two cents in because I am one of those women who waited until marriage to have sex-I just got married this April, 2004! I thought it would be "just like the movies"...Romantic, yes, maybe a little painful, but after a couple of times, it would get better.<P>This has not been the case.<P>Everytime we try to have intercourse, I can't help but tear up from the pain...and I never considered myself a weakling either-but it just hasn't gotten better in these 4 1/2 months. I just felt sooo bad for my husband AND worried for me too...would I EVER be able to do it?<P>So, finally I went to the obgyn to get a pap smear (he used the smallest one...by the way, I don't have a problem with tampons.) And miraculously, he told me due to my athletic nature, my hymen was still partially there...in other words...a stubborn muscle not wanting to get out of the way.<P>This Friday, September 9th, I'm going in for a hymenectomy, and I'm kind of nervous (I've never had any kind of surgery before) and elated all at the same time. My husband's been so very supportive and sweet and patient. We tried over and over during the beginning of our marriage to have sex-even tantric style...but over the last two months or so, we haven't tried at all, just oral. <P>So if anyone has any advice for me about the surgery, recovery time, or when it would be a good idea to try again, I would love to hear from you.<BR>Thank you so much for your time and for talking out there...take care...and wish me luck. <BR>

Dear Catherine,<P>I hope your surgery went well. I hear that it may take a while to recover from it. I'm also a little concerned, because I don't think the hymen is a muscle. I thought it was a little thin (in most people) flap of skin. I also wasn't aware that it had anything to do with being athletic. (???)<P>I hope you feel better soon. If it should turn out that the hymenectomy did not solve your problem, then you should know that you are not alone. Some problems don't have a "quick fix" solution. And some people try a hymenectomy and then discover that it did not solve their issue.<P>Please let us know how it goes.<BR>Mercy

Thanks Mercy, for your encouraging words. <P> It's Sunday now and I've just been taking it easy a bit. The doctor said I should try to rest for the next couple of days...I'm not in any pain, just slightly uncomfortable.<BR>Just some spot bleeding and soreness.<P>The surgery was quick-I was in and out of the hospital in just a couple of hours. I have an appointment to see him next week.<P>I also wanted to say something real quick about the hymen. It IS a mucous membrane and not a muscle, like you said. But with someone who is very athletic AND a virgin it just toughens it up sometimes. Mine tore due to my track and ballet activites when I was a teenager-but not completely. What was left just toughened up. <P> I was a virgin until I met the man I wanted to spend my life with-at the age of 31. I've read some other posts where some women are seeing a pattern of 'older' women with first time (and many times after, actually) intercourse. I think there could be something to that.<P> My husband are looking forward to seeing how things go after I heal up. We plan on taking things slow-he's been so very patient. I know this surgery may not be the answer to everything but I know it's been part of our problem. I can tell by looking that there's more room down there now! <P> Take care out there, I'd love to hear comments from anyone who has a moment. What a great place this is!<P>

Dear Catherine,<P>I'm so glad everything went well and was a straightforward procedure! Maybe it will solve all your problems. <P>Your situation is interesting to me because in many people the hymen gets thinner and stretchier with age, so it's not an issue for many older virgins. Mine is so stretchy, it's never even bled. And I've inserted a lot of things!<P>Best wishes and good luck! Your husband should know that there are many husbands in the world who have to be even more patient, for longer time periods, than he's had to be!<P>Mercy

Hey everyone,<BR> This is my first time posting. I just got a hymenectomy last Thursday. My doctor gave me some pain medication and some estrogen cream. She said to sustain from intercourse for at least 4-6 weeks, but from what everyone else has been stating, their doctors have been saying around 2 weeks. I'm really anxious to see if my surgery actually succeeds in helping me to get past this and allow my b/f penetration. I'm hoping that what I have was purely physically and not vaginismus. I have worked with dialators in the past but have never gotten further than the first and smaller one.

I am so glad to read of people's patience when it comes to this. I had a hymenectomy over ten years ago. I had tried intercourse, which of course was impossible due to a very strong and thick hymen. I could not even use a tampon.<BR>Even when fully anaesthetised my body contracted when the gynae cut the hymen because it was that thick. It is one of the best things I have ever done- because I can finally use tampons and go swimming. Alas, no potential lovers have crossed my path- even though it has been such a long time since I have had the procedure.

Hi everyone. I'm so glad to finally find some people with a similar problem. I had a hymenectomy in 1995 but it left scar tissue which still causes pain. Before the surgery, tampons even were painful and impossible to insert. The surgery has helped a little, but I am still going through a lot of difficulties and emotional pain. Has anyone experienced the same problem?

Hi everyone!<P> I just wanted to give an update to those out there that are interested...I wrote in several weeks ago about my hymenectomy. It's now about a month and a half later. <P> Before the surgery-when he would try to enter me (even with plenty of lube) it was so very painful-it would bring tears to my eyes-just having the very tip of him in me.<P> Now, about a month and a half after the surgery we have had intercourse twice. It was uncomfortable but not painful. We couldn't believe it. We took it very slowly and used a lot of lube-I was on top and I took him in all the way without any pain-UNCOMFORTABLE but not painful! I know now that it is something we can work on together. With more time and taking it slow, I'm sure my body will get more and more comfortable.<P> Thank you to everyone who has written in-I hope everyone is doing well and finding helpful advice on this site.<BR> <P>------------------<BR><p>[This message has been edited by catherine (edited November 19, 2004).]

Hi. I'm Katy and i'm 17 years old. I've known something was wrong "down there" for a long time because i've never been able to use tampons. (And i've had my period since I was 10.) Well, I finally went to the gyno, and the verdict is i need a hymenectomy if i ever want to be able to use tampons or have kids or anything like that. The doc says my hymen is "Thicker than most" and extremely sensitive. She gave me the name of a gynocological surgeon to call when i decide i'm ready for surgery. How old was everyone else here when u all got your hymenectomies? I'd love to hear from anyone, i'm scared because i've never had surgery before. Thanks!! <BR>

Catherine, that's brilliant news! I'm so pleased for you!<P>I have never had, nor needed, a hymnectomy. I have vaginismus. Thankfully, I can now have intercourse, but up to almost 2 years ago, I couldn't even insert a tampon. Well done for getting the matter investigated so early in your life.<P>

That's great to hear, Catherine!<P>I hope your procedure is simple and straightforward just like Catherine's, Katy. I don't know when would be the best time to do it. But I hope it works out well for you.<P>Mercy

Question for anyone who's ever gotten a hymenectomy: were u awake or asleep during the procedure? I really hope i can be awake during it. I'm not crazy about the idea of doctor's poking around my body while i'm asleep. <P>Congrats, Catherine, go forth and lead the way for all the other messed-up-hymen women!! Laterz, everyone!!<BR>

I have been having the same problems, not able to wear a tampon, not able to tolerate a pelvic exam but have always had normal periods. I went to a new gynecologist this past week and was told I had what she called a "band" and that there was no way I could get anything in there, she couldn't even get her finger in there, it just does not stretch. I was happy but upset because I had been to so many doctors and one had even sent me to counseling to learn to "relax" that it was all psychological. I am 33 and have a lot of sexual desire but always turned relationships away because I was so scared of the sex part. I always thought it was some kind of mental problem. I can't believe I have lived with this thinking all these years. It upsets me on how much time I have wasted.<P>Anyway, she told me to schedule a time for surgery, I will probably wait until after the holidays. She told me that I would miss about 2 days of work and it would be about six weeks for a full recovery. She also said I would be completely knocked out and she would perform a pelvic exam and pap smear while I was under. Again, I am happy about this but very nervous. Does anyone know if there are any risks? Not only is it important in order to be able to have sex, but also to be able to have regular pap smears and exams. I decided to do some research and found this website, which assures me that I am not alone and not some freak. Thanks.

Hi everyone, I had the proceedure done in the hospital. My Ob/Gyn gave me local freezing and snip snip and 8 stitches later I was sent on my way home to recover. I bled from the site for the first 5 days which was a bit of a worry for me. This went away after I started using a sitz bath. It is now almost a full week later and I am doing well, still a bit tender down there. How long did everyone else wait before having sex? My doc said the sooner the better to avoid scar tissue from forming. Any advice for the first time after having this proceedure?

Holy crap, 5 days!!!!! Ahhh!!! Well, i guess i'll hafta deal with the bleeding, cuz i definately need the procedure done. I saw the gynocological surgeon and he put a skinny Q-tip in there to measure the thickness of my hymen. (Or rather, he had his med student do it.) I sceamed and yelled and wanted my mommy. It really hurt. I still need to call the doctor's secretary lady to set up a date, which i keep forgetting to do. Maybe i'll do that right now. No time like the present. Well, wish me luck, and good luck to everyone else!!<BR>~Katy