His and Her Health

My partner and i have been kinda sexually active for awhile, meaning we were doing everything up to sex for a few years. When we first started, it was hard for me to accept anything besides his pinky finger in me it took awhile to get up to a point where i was comfortable. The first time having sex was fine besides him being worried about his control,i didn't feel any pain which i thought was odd. Then the next time around the pain came, mainly around the opening and after i reached a climax i became really sore when my partner tried to continue, seemed like the muscles wouldn't release. After trying to continue for a few minutes i gave up because of the pain. I could actually feel how tense the muscles were by rubbing the outside. Is there any way i can get these muscles to relax so we can continue? We even tried putting more lube on thinking that it was the condom rubbing too hard. Any advice? Thanks.

Have you been to a Gyn for a diagnosis yet? It might be that you need some Pelvic Floor treatments to loosen muscles. Your Dr. can advise you on that.

You can try to use dilators first to help release the tense muscles. You can also try massaging the area with olive oil or your lubricant. But I would also mke sure it is no your lube which is irritating you. Finally, as the moderator stated, you should be evaluated by your gyn to rule out any issues.

Dear Smster355,

It sounds like your muscles have become overly tight due to you anticipating pain upon penetration. Since you're been sexually active for a while, this might be a problem that has been building for a while.

I also have had an issue with uncontrollable muscle spasms/tightness and the way I made it better was to massage my glutes and the muscles inside my vagina every day. What I do is I put a tennis ball between me and a wall and gently massage my glutes. I am sore where the tightness is and I have a hunch that you will be as well. I do this for about 20 minutes each time (but I aim for twice a day). Be very aware of what your vaginal muscles are doing when you do this tennis ball massage...I've noticed that mine get noticeably more relaxed as I go along.

I also massage the muscles right inside my vagina. I find them by inserting my finger inside my vagina and pushing out as if I'm going to go to the bathroom. I am most tight on the right but you should check everywhere to find where you need to massage. When I press on the muscles that are most tight, it feels like a toothache. It sounds weird but you'll see exactly what I mean when you find them.

Be very aware of how you control your vaginal muscles as you go through the day. Once I made a point to check, I found that I was often clutching my muscles and it took a while for me to learn to relax them when I was going about my business.

Learning to control those muscles has made a huge difference in my sex life. For more info and help on how to decrease the intensity and duration of pain during sex, go to .vulvarvestibulitisrelief.com/dealingwithpainduringintercourse
Hope this helps! Good luck!

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