His and Her Health

Hi,<BR>I'm a 25 year old female. I guess I would classify as anorgasmic. Below is a light history of me, I am looking for a suggestion on a course of action to take. ie: Should I go to a doctor, any herbal recommendations, anything like that.<P>Meds: Wellbutrin SR 300mg/day (2x150 mg), Rhinocort Aqua 1x/nostril/day, Occasional Benodryl or Claritin for Allergies, Occasional sudafed for allergies or congestion, Albuterol inhaler used as needed for asthma, occasional ibuprophen for muscle soreness, toothaches or sinus pain.<P>Pre-existing conditions: chronic sinusitis (mostly taken care of by past surgery and OTC meds), Cervical dysplasia most likely caused by HPV (precancerous cells removed via LEEP 2 years ago next January, no recurrences have happened, and I have had a pap every 4 months for the last year or so), Depression and anxiety disorder (treated with wellbutrin)<P>I am well within my healthy weight range (125 lbs at 5'4"), I drink occasionally (2-4 drinks per week, but I often go weeks without having a drink) and smoke appx 1 pack of cigarettes per day.<P>I have never had an orgasm, either with a partner or myself. I have tried so many methods, read tons of books, and it just doesn't happen. I am familiar with my anatomy, and very sexually open and liberal. I have no shame feelings associated with sex, and come from a home where sex was talked about openly if not candidly. Often I can feel something building in me, but it never results in climax, it's like I hit a certain point, and it just dies, I almost go numb. I have tried stimulation to this heightened state and then stopping only to resume again to try to push myself past that point, and it hasn't helped. I have tried less stimulation thinking that maybe it was overstimulation, this has not changed the result wither. I currently have a very understanding partner who is very concerned with my needs, and even so it doesn't happen. I have a low libido, but I do have the desire to have sexual relations with my boyfriend, it's just not an overwhelming need to. When we are together, I become aroused, and everything feels amazing, it just doesn't culminate in an orgasm. In the past this has affected my relationships because my partners at first see it as a challenge, and then get bored with it. I can only imagine the disappointment and inadequecy they must feel because of this. In the past I have even faked it just to offer my partner a sense of accomplishment. With my current partner though I don't want to be this deceptive because i care about him very much and I feel that faking it would just be lying to him. It is frustrating to me as well, because there is really no way to explain that even though I don't come I still enjoy our intimate time together and value it. But this orgasm issue is becoming my own personal pink elephant, I know its always there. I don't try to pressure myself, and have used relaxation techniques before and during sexual activity to calm myself down.<P>Now I am to a point where it feels like I have done everything I can do to work on this problem by myself. I am not sure where to start looking for outside help.<P>I have always had a low libido/sex drive. Occasionally I have arousal problems, and usually when I have sex additional lubrication is required due to me not producing enough. If I take a birth control pill (even one like loestrin 1/20) it completely kills what sex drive I had. This is a secondary issue for me because I need to go on birthcontrol, but I am scared to go on a hormonal one because of the libido issue. Due to the HPV I really shouldn't use an IUD (which would be my other preferred method), so I am sort of at a loss for birth control outside of a condom. <P>I am almost wondering if this is just a hormone issue, because of the reaction to the birth control pills. I just don't know where to start. I have an appointment with my Gyno on August 5th, but I'm not sure if she is who I should be going to with this issue. I'm just sick and tired of not being able to come. Any suggestions would be appreciated (if you recommend me talking to my doctor, please recommend tests or stuff to request so I know what to ask for).<P>Any help would be much appreciated and I'd be happy to offer up any further information you would like to know. I guess I am getting desperate for a solution. Thanks for your time.<BR>-Cass<p>[This message has been edited by cassandrae (edited 28 September 2004).]

Hello:<BR>Sorry to hear about this long and frustrating problem.<BR>Two things come immediately to mind:<BR>1) Antidepressants may cause this type of problem, or at least contribute to it. Talk to your counselor and see if you can get off the bupropion. Counseling and relaxation techniques may seem like more work, but be safer and more rewarding in the long run.<BR>2)Quit smoking! We know that a large percentage of male smokers suffer from sexual dysfuntion. There are lots of other good reasons to quit, too- which I'm sure you're aware of.<BR>Finally, have you read Dr.s Laura and Jennifer Berman's book, For Women Only?<BR>Don't give up- <P>------------------<BR>Supportive Guy

Have you tried a vibrator/dildo? I never experienced an orgasm (I am 31) before using one and it was almost instant the first time. Also I had no libido for many years and as soon as I went off my BCP it skyrocketed. Also, I believe that IUD contains hormones. I am now using condoms with my husband on 7 years and it stinks. He is hesitant to have a vasectomy but I think he is coming around slowly.<P>Try the Mystical Wabbit. Worked for me.

Dr. Bruce:<BR>Yes I've read the Berman's book, but thatnks for the suggestion. I recently attempted to go off my budepropion with disasterous results (it ended my relationship because my b/f couldn't deal with me and well it was just bad). I know that my mental issues are not just experience related, but are in part at least chemical. The pros of being on my meds FAR outweigh the cons, and I guess if one of those cons is never having an orgasm, I'll have to live with that.<BR>I'm working on the smoking thing...<P>Twinma: Yes I have tried vibrators, dildos, you name it! I have tried several brands and models. The one I enjoyed the Most was the Wahl 2 speed Pro. It's cheap and really nice, maybe it'll do more for you than it did for me Thanks though!<P>BTW: I am on the NuvaRing and it's great low hormones and it seems to work just fine!<P>

wow - almost thought I was reading my own words.<P>I noticed that your post was quite a while ago....<P>I have the same problem that you do and I do not smoke nor do I take any medications. Have you learned anything that helped you or that may help me? I'm desperate for a solution.<P>I do exactly what you do.... I'll feel the climax coming on and I'll freeze up and then nothing. Whatever my husband was doing that felt so great didn't even feel good anymore. Sometimes I just go numb all together. I've tried to make myself have an orgasm but that doesn't even come close.<P>I'm wondering if it's some kind of mental block. I was raped when I was 15. I'm uncomfortable with my body. And even though I try not to stress out about my inability to climax it's always in the back of my mind while I'm with my husband. <P>Is there no magic pill for this?<P>something has to work.<P>

Wow,
It has been over 2 years since either of you have posted..I have the same issues, I have had TONS of sexual stimulation and education for hours upon end but nothing really works.. I feel it coming on and everything feels good but then I often go numb or check right out of my body...
So what I want to know..is can anyone or anything help us..or have you found help? I am thinking about ordering some hypnosis tapes..have you tried that?
I keep wondering is it my mind or is it a hormone problem or what???

*****Moderator's Note
I have moved this thread to the Women's Sexual Health Board where I think you will get more responses.

<small>[ 01-01-2008, 05:58 PM: Message edited by: Moderator ]</small>