His and Her Health

Ok people so this is my first official post on this forum and I would greatly appreciate any advice or support that any of you could provide me. I've been in a serious comitted relationship for over two 1/2 years now and within the last year My girlfriend has been experiencing seveve pain associated with sex of any kind. She has a rare physical condition known as a vaginal septum which actuall means she has a double vagina. From the outside you would never know, and on the inside it feels fine just a little bit tighter than previous partners I have had which is not a problem for me. for some time now her severe pain has been interfearing with our relationship. I have what I belive to be an abnormaly active sex drive and I desire some form of sexual contact on a daily baisis (is this weird?) My girlfriend on the other hand seems to have lost all interest in sex which I belive is because it hurts her and is not pleasurable for her in any way shape or form. Don't get me wrong I can still make her cum but at what price? pain during and for hours after. "trust me I have tried every technique and then some" needless :confused: to say this has caused me much sexual frustration. SHe feels like a freak, always feels sexually inadaquet and has trouble discussing the issue with me. I love her very much and have always been faithful to her despite my levels of frustration. She has informed that there is a surgery to correct the problem however most doctors have never treated or seen a problem like her's and there is a risk of loss of sensation she informed me. I have attempted to aliviate the situation somewhat by looking at porn but My girlfriend does not have an open mind towards pornography and has a firm belive that "It sexually exploits and degrades women" This means that she searches, my computer, and everywhere else in search of evidence that I look at porn and when she finds it there is hell to pay and I have to deal with an angry/Icecube for a girlfriend for what can and has proved to be extended periods of time. Due to my increasing sexual frustration regarding my relationship and lack of being able to find sexual release I take my frustrations out on my girlfriend in form of a negative attitude. This causes further problems in our relationship and it seems to be a perpetual cycle. I have been in relationships with other women where these things were never an issue however I have never loved anyone like I love my current Girl.
Last night after over two weeks of prolonged non sexual encounters my frustration level was reaching near critical levels. I decided that I am a man and it was time for me to instigate sex or go completely crazy. So I attemped to start things up... I rubbed her for a while in an attempt to turn her on, then I decided to take charge and tell her what positions I wanted "If I don't she would just lay there with her eyes closed". About three minutes into it she pulls me close so that I cannot see her face I wonder what is going on and i realize she is crying out of agony. She begged me to contienue, So I urged her to get on top... The pain was was so bad that she could not continue and wound up crying in a ball for over an hour. Needless to say it really messed me up in the head.
I had a realization that I don't know what to do and that I cannot deal with this frustration anymore, and that I cannot deal with this alone. I love my girlfriend very much and our relationship is wonderful otherwise. Does anyone have any advice or help they could offer me I am in desperate need.

She needs to see a doctor. I'm guessing there's a surgical solution to her problem. It must be very frustrating for both of you, but I'm sure you don't want to see her in such pain. In the meantime, there are other ways to have intimacy and sex - oral, anal, manual. Be creative. Encourage her to get this taken care of and stop hurting her. She's trying because she's afraid to lose you, but it's not ok.

Absolutely, get her to a gynocologist. You're in a large metro area, I'm sure you can find someone with the proper experience and training. Sex isn't supposed to hurt. Period.

And, I just have to bring this up. Expecting sex every day is probably not realistic for the long run. The stress of daily living can get in the way, even for the most highly charged couples. There's nothing wrong with wanting it every day, but you should discuss this with her to see if that's what she wants too. After the pain issue is resolved, of course. Unless she wants sex on a daily basis as well, your expectations may be a bit too high and agreeing to some compromises now will save you both a lot of relationship trouble down the road.

I have the same problem your girlfriend does, chances are that your..(and this is what the doctor told me) sticking it in the under developed vagina and that is why it is hurting her so bad..yeah, it hurts in the fully developed one also but not half as bad. Not to mention that it probably feels like your poking her bladder or intestines. It's rough for her right now. There is surgery for it. I'm getting mind done in January. I've got two vagina's, two cervices, two uterus's, four fallopian tubes. And I know that when I have sex it hurts and if it dont hurt then it feels like he's poking my bladder. It's very uncomfortable. Just let her know that you love her. Don't pressure her into anything. Just hold her and tell her everything is going to be okay.

Welcome to the Bulletin Boards. We hope you find the answers and help for the problems which brought you here .Our sites also have articles on this topic and countless others that may interest or help you, even if it is off your topic. Please visit:
www.bermansexualhealth.com ---Directed by Dr. Jennifer Berman
www.hisandherhealth.com ---Directed by Dr. Myron Murdock
www.ourgyn.com ---Directed by Dr. Andrew Goldstein
www.redhotmamas.org ---Directed by Karen Giblin