His and Her Health

Hey, first post, but I've been browsing around and couldn't find anything similar enough so I decided to post this. Sorry if this is a bit long, but thanks in advance to anyone who reads it all through/can offer some advice or theories. I'll try to be succinct and I can always fill in more details if something is unclear.

So, I started dating this girl 9 months ago. At first she was real hesitant to start having sex (both of us have prior experience), but she told me she'd had problems in the past, she's always been really tight and had never had an orgasm before either and was unsuccessful masturbating. It might have been the guy, he had his own problems. For us, things were slow at first, but then she was able to orgasm, but just while I was deep inside her. It just happened when she began to get more comfortable and we were getting more adventurous.

The problem here was that it tended to chafe the outside lips/opening/just inside her vagina and when I pulled out she said it was quite painful. I think this was due to the hair and the fact that I was so deep caused these areas to stop lubricating as much possible. I noticed when I pulled out I tended to pull her inside out with me a little bit, or at least that's what it felt like.

I should mention at this point, for the most part we stuck to the cookie-cutter man on top using hips to thrust angle. I started to play with different angles and I noticed if I lowered my pelvis and used my arms/legs/hips to move my whole body I could penetrate as a much different angle, which accomplished several things: didn't hurt when I pulled out, and it seemed to pleasure her a lot, the angle was such that I was thrusting at her g-spot, or so I'd assume. It's harder to tell than it is with fingers, but the angle/depth made sense. Anyway, sex became more interspersed and she would complain of some pain, which she described as chaffing. If it's relevant she also figured out how to masturbate around this time when I changed angles.

Fast forward a little more, and recently she has said that the pain has gotten progressively worse which is the primary reason we don't have sex as often. She said it feels like really raw around her g-spot, and when I penetrate her (particularly when the head rubs near there) it causes intense pain. I've heard the words "cheese grater". When I'm just inside her, she says she's fine or that the pain is manageable. She is still able to orgasm when I'm inside her, the problem is the pain is getting too intense for me to be inside.

In a (maybe) unrelated problem: she's also been pulling my hands away from her vagina if we try manual stimulation. She says my fingers burn or sting inside.

Also might be relevant to mention that she is prone to urinary tract infections, but we are very clean so don't think this is behaviorally caused, but may be relevant if the pain is a health issue.

She's able to finger/penetrate herself with objects without either of these, so perhaps there is something psychological?

I don't want to pressure her to have sex if it is painful, and she's been very open and honest with me, so I have no reason to think she's being dishonest. We talked about it a lot and we plan to go slower, try different angles, spend a lot more time making sure she's wet/open enough before we dive in, but we're both a bit frustrated and miss having enjoyable sex. I think us talking about the problem is a good approach, but I fear that our approach will only work if it's purely a problem of technique or maybe just lowered self confidence from her previous (and only other) experience. But if it's a health problem it definitely might not help. So, has anyone had any experience with anything similar, or could you recommend reading up on anything? I'm just trying to do a little research (we both are actually). We don't really have much time to try anything until the next semester begins, but even with this time, the few times we have seen each other have been as bad.

Thanks, sorry for the long read.

Have you tried lubricant? Astroglide is my favorite. It doesn't sound psychological - it sounds physical. But once a pattern of fear of pain is established it can affect her ability to become aroused. She needs to start having some experiences that don't hurt. Take it slow. Perhaps she should see her doctor. She might have an infection that's making her feel so sore - yeast or something.

Ask her to see her Gyn and talk to the doctor about the lack of desire and the pain she has had.

thanks