His and Her Health

My husband is having a very very hard time adjusting to the fact that we are about to have our first baby, in less than a month. He is very depressed, i guess is the right word. He moved all the way across the states, to washington to have a family with me. He is very unhappy with the place, he misses home, his friends and well everything. Now hes dealing with becoming a father for the first time. He says he losing his freedom and just has to deal with it. He's just not ready to be a dad. He doesnt want to give us his privacy or his freedom. I'm having a hard time dealing with the fact that he is completely unhappy here, while being pregnant for the first time. I just need to know from men and women, please, Do things really get better after the baby is born? People have told me it does, but i just dont know if thats true for us. It seems thing have hit to hard at the bottom to just get better after the baby is born. Please I need advice!!!!!

Please hold on and encourage him to have patience as well. It's easy for people to imagine the work and stress of having a new baby - you see it around you all the time. What's much harder to imagine, epecially for me I think, is the intensity of emotion and attachment he will have once he can see and hold the baby. There's really no way to KNOW in advance how much love a baby brings with it. If people didn't fall in love with their babies, they'd never get through raising them. But they do. All the time. And quite a few of those people who do it well were not prepared. Many of them were less prepared than you and your husband - at least he KNEW he was coming to raise a family. Often it's unplanned and unexpected, and yet they still love and care for the baby. Your husband will probably adore the baby and rise to the challenge when the time comes. Most do.

There's another issue here that's muddying the waters for him though. He's not happy where you are living (though why someone wouldn't like Washington is beyond me!) How long has he been there? Has he made any adjustments to his new home? New friends? Job? Activities? Is there any way you can all move back to his city? If he's having such a hard time adjusting after what I would guess must be about a year maybe some counseling would help. He needs to let go of his resentment and move into his new life or he will never be happy.

eve_m Thank you for your post, it does help a lot. I am praying everyday that things will turn out the way they should be, we are about a week away or less to having our son. Im am worried for our family. As for him living here, he has not been here a year yet. I love it here, its home to me. He has not made many adjustments here, with friends or activities really. He just does things that may not be too healthy for our relationship. Such as, goes out to the bars often, drinks a lot more, and sometimes says thing to make me jealous about the girls at the bars. But we are planning on moving to his home in March, so if things havent worked themselves out by then, I hope they will when he is finally home.

Thanks again.