His and Her Health

Hi. New member. I sometimes get a peek at what porn my husband is looking at. About 90% of the time he looks at men ejaculating on women's faces. I noticed one time he was looking at a woman who was tied up and appeared to be in distress being ejaculated on by several men. I have always wondered if this sexual fascination stems from a need to dominate. Does this indicate a view of women as objects? I noticed he had searched for, "unwanted facials" recently. Any one have any insight? Thank you in advance.

noticed that no one has responded to this topic and it really does deserve an answer. there might be more than one answer for your husband watching this kind of porn. one is that there is a lot of this subject porn online. i go to a lot of porn sites and facials seem to be everywhere. i see it as very demeaning and degrading for women. i run across a lot of thngs that i find interesting (facials isn't one of them) and it may be that your husband 'just happens' to be at these sites when you catch him because there is so much of it. if he's actually seeking the sites of unwanted facials, you might approach him about it and see what he's giving as a reason. as long as he's not approaching you with it and i'm sure he isn't because most if not all husbands or boyfriends have too much respect for their wives to even consider it. mostly maybe just a fantasy that some men enjoy. i think i would a have a discussion with him about it and there's a lot of other porn subjects online that are not so demeaning, but still enjoyable. who knows, you might enjoy some of it yourself, but i think it more of guy thing.

Funny that he googled "unwanted facials." To me that does imply dominance or even rape in a certain sense. On the other hand, a lot of people fantasize about things they would NEVER do. It's not really fair to judge them for their thoughts rather than their actual behavior.

It's a tricky question you've got. Good luck!

Thanks for your responses. He does actually search out unwanted facials and just facials in general because I see it on the google search history and he does mostly want to do that in the bedroom. I also have felt it tends to be disrespectful.

there are some things i would like to tell him if he is acting like you say, in the bedroom, but it would probably get me thrown off this site. be carefull!
let him do his playing on the internet and not in the bedroom.

Here's my thought: Would you be willing to act out this fantasy with him?

Sometimes people are fascinated by the forbidden, but once they experience what it's like in real life, it loses its power. There's nothing inherently wrong with dominance/submission games in the bedroom, as long as it's clear it's a roleplay, and there's nothing harmful about a facial, as long as you keep it out of your eyes.

My husband does not have this particular fantasy, but he has other unusual ones and I've found it very rewarding to indulge him. He indulges me in my fantasies in return.

So my advice is the opposite of ohdy's. Get him off the internet and in the bedroom.

i still see it as demeaning and degrading. just my opinion. but i guess as long as it ok with both partners, it's ok.

It would be interesting to hear from the men on this. My theory is that the fantasy is better than the reality on this one and that if he got a chance to act it out, he'd lose interest in it. But I'm a woman, so I could be wrong.

In any case, I don't see specific acts themselves as being demeaning or degrading - it's the intent and the meaning we bring to them. Reallytired, herself has expressed no stronger opinion that "tends to be disrespectful" - if that's the level of her objection - and if she trusts her husband to "get it", I could see giving it a go. Especially if they talk it through so he understands her views.

My husband and I do and say things in the bedroom that never ever leak into the rest of our lives - including things that 'disrespectful' doesn't even begin to describe. And I assure you, we respect each other in every way.

Sexuality isn't concerned with political correctness. The things that turn us on are not necessarily an indication of our character. It's very liberating to let all of that go and open up all the dark little corners of your libido. It takes trust and care, but it's really worth it. I feel so much closer to my husband because of the secrets we share that I know I could never share with another human ever.

to eva m-- i wish my wife and i had a relationship as strong as you and your husband. i don't see my marriage as open as yours. your post on this has started my brain to go into overdrive trying to understand and figure out the sex lives of other people and some of the things that they accept as normal. the longer i'm on this board, and other places on the internet (some might be considered porn),the more i see that the wife and (i 61 and she 57) have or i should say had a very mild sex life. maybe a good thing. maybe a not so good thing, but it was fine as we saw it and satisfying as we saw it. your posts are always interesting and the kind of posts that keep me coming back here. i mostly read and observe and occasionally throw my 2 cents in.

We are 70 and 71.....Actually closer to the new number than the old. Sexually we are yesterday. Anything goes. You are as young as you feel or as old as you feel.....I like the young part.....Older people should stop thinking old....

i sure wish you'd talk to my wife. lol
she's thought we were 'past the sex' part of her (really ours) life for a few years now. her reply when the subject was brought up was 'take care of it yourself or find someone who's willing'. guess i'll say it again- i wish my wife and i had a relationship as strong as yours. it didn't help any either that you told me you were 70+. lol.

If people only realized that age is a number only. Nothing changes. Sex makes the world go round. I am young because he makes me young. If your wife only knew what she was missing she would think again. I live in pretty much luxury yet this sexual awakening that he and I have is the most important thing in our life with the exception of our children. I wish all women would think twice before they close their legs and their minds to their husband's or lovers. They forget to remember how they used to feel and then don't want to be bothered......Such a shame....

to if only: i guess we've kind of drifted off course here, but i do agree with everything you say. now, if we can only get my wife to agree.
back to the porn question, i probably watch as much or more porn on the internet than any male, but avoid as many pics or movies of what i consider degrading to women.
to eva: it would probably be interesting to know what some of the men (and maybe even some of the women) consider to be demeaning or degrading to either party.

really do think a new topic should be started on what means demeaning, disrespectful and/or degrading to different couples and how they or thier partner deal with it.
i'm willing to get the ball rolling with the permission of the moderater. i don't want to start something that members here would find too racey for this forum.

You could give it a try . If the posts become to graphic I'll edit you.