His and Her Health

I have a wonderful husband with lower testosterone levels (but within normal range), he is in mid 40's, plus he has been stressed on the job lately. I am now the one with the Higher sex drive, I would love sex every day, but he sometimes has trouble & mornings are always better for him. Just seeking to know what "normal" is for a man wanting/desiring sex with his wife -especially this age group? Considering his Libito is lacking, he is probably doing pretty well. He used to look at Porn a few times a week (but back then MY drive was lacking & he suffered in silence most of the time), he says he has no desire to do this anymore, but he still wants to please me. A man can't fake it- right? if he is seriously NOT in the mood, it just won't go up--right ? (Unless using Viagra maybe--I know this can help, a few times he has used this cutting them in half, but generally this is not needed). I have him taking certain vitamins & a few herbs to help his Libito also. So what is a normal sex drive for a man in his 40's?? Thanks to all :confused:

Most men want to have sex constantly. LOL That is how the human race has survived these milleniums. But clearly both men and women can have different levels of drive. The ideal situation for you is if you could talk openly with your husband about your needs and his.

Meanwhile do subtle erotic things to arouse him. In the evening dress casual--in a low cut translucent negligee. Pretend it is normal to wear that kind of clothing--don't imply you want to look sexy. Men are more aroused by what is hidden than what is obvious. Do things to make his erotic imagination go wild.

If it is too warm, sleep naked in bed and claim you are doing it because you are too uncomfortable in a nightie because it is so hot.

Do things that make him WANT you!

Men's testosterone levels are at their highest in the early morning.

According to the statistically accurate "Sex in America" survey (c) 1994, percentages of men in their 40's had the following frequencies of sex:

9% had no sex
18% had sex a few times in the year
40% had sex a few times per month
27% had sex 2 or 3 times per week
6% had sex 4 or more times per week

However, this is supposedly how often these men actually have sex, not necessarily how often they'd like to have sex. In my case, for instance, I'd like to have sex every day, but my wife has no interest, so I have no sex at all!

Nobody is exactly normal. Everybody is either above the norm, or below it, even if only slightly. As the numbers above show, only 40% are in the "normal" category.

You seem to be thinking that men generally lose their sexual interest by their mid-40's. Again, look at the spread of the numbers above -- they're all over the place. Take me, for instance -- I'm in my late 50's and my sex drive is about what it was when I was a teenager, and it's been that way ever since. Which is way out of the norm, apparently.

If I am "seriously NOT in the mood, it just won't go up--right?" Not in my case. Even if I'm engrossed in something else, or sound asleep, and a woman starts touching me sensuously, it's like instant Viagra. Or to put it another way, if I am seriously NOT in the mood, it's ALWAYS easy to quickly get me in the mood.

And you're right, a man can't fake it, it's an involuntary reaction.

To answer my favorite part of your subject heading question, how often do I DESIRE to have sex, let me elaborate. Though I'd probably want to average once a day, I don't mind variation. After 24 hours, I start to fantasize a lot and I'm more than ready. After 48 hours, I'm really realizing it's been a while, and I'm more than "primed". So, for example, if I had sex on Thursday, and skipped Friday, then when I had a relaxing morning at home on Saturday morning, I would like to have sex 2-3 times. I wouldn't mind more, but I'm not desparate for more, since the 4th and subsequent orgasms aren't quite as powerful in the same day (but still nothing to complain about!!)

OK, maybe I'm out of the norm for a guy past 50. I just wish my wife would appreciate it.

Good sex is good health. Look up Zane Blues diet because it works for men as well as women. Stress will kill any desire for anything good. Also, it may be a good idea for an annual check up and get some blood work done.

I'm 37. My wife is 42. I have a high sex drive, while she could do it once a month. We have sex about once a week, although she doesn't really want it. She does it to keep me happy. I always offer to give her an orgasm orally, but most of the time she doesn't want to. I think she thinks its too much work. I have learned to not bother her too much with sex. I have learned that there are many great ways to masturbate to wonderful orgasms. I love everything about her and would never dream of cheating on her just because we have different sex drives. Mastubation has kept my marriage happy.

If he is stressed no Viagra or any thing will help. As you probable know your husband and every man biggest sex organ is the brain. He has to manage stress. Second men testosterone production starts to decline at age 30. Based of the gene structure at age 40 some men has no testosterone to speak off. Testosterone is the life king for libido, muscles, lower blood pressure, lower LDL and Higher HDL, lower blood sugar. The research found also men who loose their memory has very low testosterone. Thanks GOD there Testosterone replacement now in cream and thanks to high tech it can absorbed in bloodstream in few second by the Liposome technology and it is safe.

Stress doesn't necessarily kill sexual desire in all men. Sometimes, in fact, it increases desire -- perhaps if you have a high biological sex drive to begin with.

If you don't believe me ask a psychiatrist. Stress turns the brain to a non-functional organ and all body functions including sex suffer.

Elgalawaat, It has nothing to do with believing or not believing you. It's just not the same for all men. Just like it's not the same for for all women. Stress affects everyone differently.

Stress does the opposite for me. When I'm stressed I want more endorphines that come with an orgasm. It usually takes me away from my stress and anxiety. About 4 years ago I went through a difficult situation and was anxiety ridden. The only thing that would take my mind off of my problems was orgasm. I was masturbating 2-3 times a day just to escape. Different people cope in different ways.

As for Stress, I know everyone is differnt, cause I am one of those who want it more when I am stressed and my husband is the opposite, just like some people love to make love after they fight (probably more men) -I am more like this, whereas my husband does not like that kind of thing. Thank you for all of your answers, for any man on here who is on the testosterone replacement, please tell me more about it, how low was your levels, what was your symptoms, are you happy you are now on this treatment? As I understand, once started, you are on it "for life". At this point, I don't feel my hubby needs it, but maybe in a few years since they say this keeps declining in men and he is so low already in his mid 40's. (Levels are lower 300's)

LoveMyHusband, I agree with you on the point that when I'm stressed I want more sex There is nothing like a mind blowing orgasm or some really intense sex when the stress level is high.

Well I am not here to argue with any one. Stress has degrees which can range from low to high. If you argue with your spouse that may cause stress. Losing your job then the bank forcloses on your house. This can cause some stress too.