His and Her Health

After struggling with some mild form of ED I am wondering if it is really ED or I am just getting the normal symptoms of getting older and making it worst by worrying to much about it. So I have a few questions for the guys that have been through the mid 30 years.


How long a foreplay one needs at this age before getting a full erection ? I used to get an erection within the first few seconds and now if it does not happen within the first one or two minutes I already start questioning what's wrong and that will stop things completely.

Also, I know as you get older you don't get erections any more form visual stimulation, kissing, caressing or even touching your partner's body and you need direct penis stimulation to obtain and maintain an erection. What age does this happen. Is it normal in mid thirties ?

Worrying about it will certainly make it worse. There's no single answer to your questions because it varies a lot from man to man depending on a lot of things, including his state of mind, his partner, diet, exercise, and general health.

Is your mild ED primarily mental or physical? Doctors would ask if you have morning erections. If you do, then it may be mostly mental.

Not being able to get an erection from visual stimulation alone is not something that "happens" at a particular age. For some men, it might start happening more regularly at a wide range of ages, or states of health, or relationships, or stress, etc. For other men, visual stimulation might be enough to get an erection at any age. Yes, I've seen general statements by experts to the effect that as a man gets older, he needs direct stimulation to get an erection -- which is baloney -- not true for all men in all relationships. Likewise, there are men who have trouble with erections their whole life, but are otherwise normal in terms of health, etc.

If you've noticed a change in recent years, you might want to mention it in your annual checkup. The recent wisdom is that ED can be an early warning sign of heart disease, allowing you plenty of time to take preventive measures.

I really think this is something you need to talk to a doctor about, if you are really worried and the condition persists. Perhaps it is nothing, and it is only your worry that is the problem. I can't hurt to check it out. But you need someone to look at your personal history, health, and overall situation. You cannot go by averages or specific milestones where you can't get an erection by visual stimulation at a certain age, etc.

Thanks for your advice, patient. It makes sense what you are saying. Fortunately I am almost certain there is nothing wrong physical since I have morning erections and many times I get unexpected erections when I am next to my partner but not planning to make love. It's when I know we are going to make love that the problems occurs so it looks like a typical performance anxiety problem.

The problem is I don't know where it is coming from and I am suspecting it is the fact that I still expect my body to react like when I was 15 while age, stress and fatigue have taken their toll.

Age, stress and fatigue can take there toll on men and women. You most likely have more things to worry about then when you were 15. try to access whether this occurs more after a long, hard day, or is it the same when you have had a relaxing weekend with your partner. If sexual arousal is more difficult after the long, hard day, then it sounds more like a stress and fatigue issue. If it occurs every time...even when you feel completely relaxed, then it may be something else...possibly a hormonal imbalance. Either way, it is important to talk to your doctor about it or see a specialist.

<small>[ 04-08-2009, 11:25 PM: Message edited by: Moderator ]</small>

While the above comments are certainly accurate, you may want to engage in a little experiment. Go to your doctor and have him perscribe some Viagra to see if this changes your situation.
Another question to ask yourself is the state of your relationship. Is there anything bothering you or are you in conflict?
The part of you mentioning spontaneous erections is certainly an indicator that the "plumbing" is working correctly, but not entirely. For example the gold standard for Testosterone adequacy is to analyze the amount of
free available testosterone available within a 24 hour period. Note that testosterone varies depending on the time of day, and it is not at all unusual for men to have morning erections but still be deficient in testosterone.
Lastly, do not go to a standard medical doctor for a discussion of this nature. Many internal medicine MDs are poorly informed about the nuances of this hormone plus there is a decided government bias and bigotry pertaining to men having this drug because of the steroid controversy. Find someone that has much experience in this area. Personally I have found Urologists that are not as well informed as I would like. There is a definite male oriented bigotry within the medical community pertaining to this matter so choose someone wisely. For reasons I do not know, the same cannot be said of doctors treating women with similar issues.

sleep apnea too leads to erectile dysfunction. Not many are aware of this. until a friend of mine had a problem with ED. Though we have heard sperm count and semen volume decreases due to lack of solid good night sleep.

Apnea can definitely cause ED.I am 55 and until last month, a cat couldn't scratch it.From 16 until 55 I have had no problems. I am using androgel and I have no problem with desire.My problem is the frustration of being aroused and it just sits there.Just out of curiosity I checked out some of the blogs of woman who have men with E D in their lives.The common thread is what about me.Most do not understand why ED can be so devastating to men.

malemember, welcome to the forum. I don't quite know what " the cat couldn't scratch it" means but if your problem is with "it" (which I assume is your penis ) then here is a link to an article that may supply further information on that condition. www.hisandherhealth.com/impotence/104--e...l-medication-therapy

Well, malemember, your phrase "...why ED can be so devastating to men" might be a clue to your problem, along with the fact that you get spontaneous erections and morning erections. Nothing produces ED as quickly as anxiety, including anxiety about getting ED. Including being anxious about getting anxious because you know anxiety will produce ED. It's easier said than done, but you need to focus on what turns you on (your partner), not your penis (unless that by itself turns you on).