His and Her Health

Needhelp, I wish I could say there was. A while back she told me they had found someone in the States willing to do the piece, and I haven't gotten a response from anyone saying who it might be.

So in that regard, nothing has changed since my last post both here and on EA.com.

I have another doctors appnt tmro, And I'm going to request some more things be tested as far as looking into my thyroid....and later in the day I'm seeing a psychologist, who I plan to discuss the EA with.

Hopefully I'll have something to share after that. And hopefully that TV interview is actually happening!

I don't have any problem with my orgasms but I can manually induce the non-feeling. At least I could but there is no point in doing it and I certainly don't want to do any permanent damage. It's like you described it (I didn't try to read everything though, only few pages).

I was experimenting with my prostate when I stumbled upon it. I read that you can enhance your orgasms this way so during orgasm I applied a bit of pressure to an area where I thought it can be and suddenly the pleasure was gone, like a switch. I ejaculated but I didn't feel a thing, very unsatisfying. Complete opposite of what I'd expected. I can also experience this when applying pressure between scrotum and anus. When the pressure is slight it enhances orgasms a bit but when it's more than that (even though it's still not much) it often leads to the non-event. Don't know if it really is prostate or some other thing though (PC muscle or other nerves).

That's all.

Guys, I think crab-cz's post is really interesting. Prostate pressure eliminated pleasure for him.

Perhaps some kind of inflammation or disturbance to our prostates is partly responsible for our loss of pleasure too.

I've never heard anyone else say they've been able to duplicate our problem, voluntarily.

Does this spark any additional thoughts for anyone?

That is an interesting post by crab-ez.

Ive had this problem for 30 years, since I was 15. Recently I've had some tests done to see if anything physical was amiss. They tested my blood, pserm and did a prostate scan by passing a camera up my back passage.

Basically everythig is normal, but they did say there was evidense of a previous inflamation. Could this be a link to Crabs post? (an inflamation of what I dont know)

Also my sperm count was fine, but the quality of the sperm was weak; so I would have problems having children (not a problem for me)

Wow...I am so annoyed right now.

This morning, my husband and I went to the urology appointment it took a friggin' month to get. My husband has not been as proactive as I am about his situation, but he did not want me in the office with him and the doc. I understood. I asked if it would be all right for me to come in AFTER they had talked through everything, and I could be there to ask some questions. This was due mainly to the fear that I've read repeatedly on this board about docs not really knowing what the heck to do with this situation. My husband said that would be fine. I was feeling okay since the secretary told me the doc had some experience with this issue.

So...husband goes back. I read for an hour and jot down questions I have about medications (GABA, bupropion, etc.), therapy, and the like for when I get to ask them.

After an hour and a half, husband emerges. Meeting is over, no time for me to ask questions. In fact, he only met with the doc for 15 minutes. The rest of the time was spent waiting in another waiting room. Husband tells me doc has never seen a case like his and doesn't really know how to treat it, nor does he know of any meds. Wanting to blow up, I start listing the meds you've all talked about. I'm so upset at the doc, for one, that I explained the situation to his secretary, he had a month, and it seems I know more than he does. Likewise, I'm annoyed with my husband that he didn't let me ask the doc any questions.

Doc sent him over to the lab to draw some blood. After knowing what I know from reading this board, I'm pretty sure everything is going to come back normal, and nothing will be done.

I am so envious that all of you seem to be searching for a cure...looking for ways to enhance your experiences. My husband seems too embarrassed to look for answers and he gets irritated when I do. So for now, he'll keep avoiding the issue, and I'll just keep trying to think of ways to not lose it.

Feeling lost,
Michelle

Wife wrote:

I am so envious that all of you seem to be searching for a cure...looking for ways to enhance your experiences. My husband seems too embarrassed to look for answers and he gets irritated when I do.
I've got some suggestions for you.

I think I can understand how your husband feels. AE makes you feel inadequate. It's not something you want to dwell on when there isn't anything you think you can do about it. I was with a woman who felt that my lack of orgasm indicated I was emotionally withholding myself from her. It's just wasn't true, but she felt it was. That relationship did not last. If anything, I'm compulsive about finding a cure and am fighting a losing battle. Then being told that I didn't care only increased my frustration.

I suspect that appointment did not help your husband's mood or attitude, and only confirmed in his mind that there is nothing that can be done.

But I find it hard to criticize your husband's lack of interest in looking for a cure. There is no known cure. Doctor's don't have one, and only rarely know of the existence of the disease. If anything, your husband has his head on straight, thinking that doctors won't help, while we on this list are compulsive nuts like myself, who think they can do basic medical research.

I'd recommend screening potential doctors before making an appointment, confirming that they at least have some experience with or at least awareness of long standing AE, (not just temporary AE), even if they haven't been successful in treating it. Then make sure that they are willing to try different things if you can bring them a strong rationale.

I went in to a Urology clinic at a university, with a researcher in neurological urology, and I was the one making the suggestions for possible treatment, which she was good enough to go along with. That's the best we can hope for. I recommend looking for an actual researcher, because they at least are willing to think and look for solutions, instead of just saying "there are no known treatments."

On the bright side, there are a few real conditions that can cause AE that the urologist probably tested for. Maybe your husband will have one of those. Rule out the recognized culprits - hypogonadism, hyper/hypo thyroidism, hyperprolactinemia. Once you rule those out, most doctors are just not going to be helpful.

Buy some GABA Plus, and have him try it. That has actually cured a couple of guys here, though it failed to cure a lot more. It is over the counter, cheap, and basically harmless. Tell him that it takes months to work so that he is not feeling pressured and monitored. (It actually seemed to only take a few weeks.)

Go to him when you have concrete possible solutions, or a doctor who at least claims to know something about this. And keep tabs on this list. Don't expect a cure next week or next month. But there are a few things coming down the pike that I am hopeful about. I think in a year or two, maybe we have something.

Michelle,
I empathize with what sounds to me like rejection and abandonment you are receiving, and being treated like a no factor when you are the seeming warrior in this fight. Your husband is way too passive for me to be happy about his non encounter of this condition.
I know a good sex therapist who will consult over the telephone as a regular part of HER practice, and I know her personally to be compassionate, excellent, and very passionate to help and find answers whatever the problem, from my personal experience. Your husband does not seem to be encountering self constructive options, but seemingly is "giving in, and tuning out." That is unfortunate because I believe this whole issue is solvable. Definitely there needs to be a constructive and meaningful outlet for your understandable anger. I've made constructive changes and am increasingly seeing better and better results. (The monitors of the site will not permit me to give the name, web address, phone number of this PhD sex Therapist I highly recommend. If you wish that info, my email address is on my profile and you are welcome to email me there and I will give you all that contact info.. That I feel would be a constructive step potentially for both of you.)
Will

dear sir needhelpage31

i am new here and want to discuss my problem with you, i am 34 and having exactly the 100% same problem that you had (and you shared on this forum in 2007).
I haven't read all posts due to lack of time, I want to know that have you got any improvement (in case of orgasm) using suggestions of co-members???????????????????????????????

please give me your email address for detailed communication. thanks.

Regards

KHAN

Thank you so much nofun and Will (and everyone else).

You are really helping me put things in perspective...seriously. This board has helped me vent and learn; it's such a calming influence to have people willing to talk to me about this. I have a lot of questions scattered throughout here, so I'm going to put them in bold to make them easier to see.

Will: thanks for the therapist recommend, but if we do see one, I want it to be in person rather than over the phone.

Does anyone know a retail chain where I may purchase GABA?

I was perusing a medical journal yesterday and saw a description of PCS...Post Concussive Syndrome. It just so happens my husband has had three concussions in his lifetime, the first being before the onset of puberty. I can't help but wonder if that has something to do with this since his EA has been lifelong.


In the book it said that PCS can be mistaken for many other things due to it manifesting in multiple ways. Hypothyroidism is one of those. After looking up the symptoms, many fit, but many did not. Those that did: irritability, depression, headaches, temporary loss of sense of smell, decreased libido.
Those that did not: brittle hair and nails, inability to lose weight. Those really don't fit. But the book also said that some symptoms may be present while others are not.

My husband can go from a happy, calm state to tremendous rage in a matter of seconds if something sets him off. Granted, this doesn't happen that often, but it is so odd when everything seemed to be chill and then he's just suddenly losing it. Do many of you find that to be a similar situation in your own lives? BTW, he has never become violent (I know you might be wondering that -- I would be).

He had blood drawn, but I don't know the specific tests doc was going to do. Is hypothyroidism just a "gimme" one? I mean is that an obvious test a doc is going to do? Which hormone/ hormones are deficient in hypothyroidism?

Thanks again, guys.

--Michelle

Hi abcde,
Any good progress with your Rx and supplements trial ?

To wife,
The GABA product used by many of us is a product of Twinlab
named GABA-plus
( per serving / per 2 capules : GABA 200mg , Niacin 400mg, Inositol 1200mg )

If you can't find it in retail stores, you could consider mail-order.

The supplier I used ( found okay ) is : www dot iherb dot com

michaelsad wrote:

The GABA product used by many of us is a product of Twinlab named GABA-plus
( per serving / per 2 capules : GABA 200mg , Niacin 400mg, Inositol 1200mg )
...
The supplier I used ( found okay ) is : www dot iherb dot com

It's niacinamide, instead of niacin. I recommend iherb too.

Wife wrote:

My husband can go from a happy, calm state to tremendous rage in a matter of seconds if something sets him off. ... Do many of you find that to be a similar situation in your own lives?

He had blood drawn, but I don't know the specific tests doc was going to do. Is hypothyroidism just a "gimme" one? I mean is that an obvious test a doc is going to do? Which hormone/ hormones are deficient in hypothyroidism?

I'm more the opposite - very level and extremely difficult to provoke to anger. If anything, too emotionally flat. That is my impression of a number of others here as well. But
that could just be selection bias for those who participate on these kinds of lists.

The tests I mentioned are fairly standard ones for sexual dysfunction, though I wouldn't count on any doctor checking into any or all of them. Don't count on doctors for anything for this. Know what you want, and bring it up. Bring abstracts from pubmed, or articles from standard web sites, to bludgeon them into doing what you want. If they have some extra bright ideas, fine, but know what you want.

Along those lines, if you're willing to spend a little money outside of your health insurance, I'd recommend ordering blood tests from the life extension foundation (lef.org). You can order tests directly from them, without having to deal with begging doctors for what you want. They also have medical advisors . And, they are currently having their annual sale on blood tests, which unfortunately ends today. You have to be a member to get the sale price. It would probably cost about $400 to join ($95) and get a good suite of tests (~$300), which would leave you with a $100 credit for purchasing vitamins from their site (unfortunately, you can't apply the credit to blood tests).

As far as I remember, thyroid hormone is required for cells to properly use testosterone, or the other way around.

To Michelle,
I get excellent prices on Twin Labs Gaba from Vitacost.com;
Because a sex therapist is extending and accomadating and willing to do phone therapy with which she has a very high success rate, does not mean you cannot go see her if you wish.
Some people enjoy to flounder in problems and talk about it rather than to take highly recommended steps that may lead to solutions. Some people enjoy being and or playing the Victim. (It is not necessary to REMAIN a victim.)
I have hypothyroidism (had thyroid cancer and it was surgically removed) and it potentially can affect all hormones.
Will

Michelle -

I've ordered supplements through Puritan all the time. Also thorough vitacost.

Irritability is a symptom of sleep apnea. (It was a primary symptom, for me.) Does your husband snore?

As you've already discovered, you have a higher level of understanding of this EA problem than 75% of urologists. And that can be frustrating. You might ask around, about urologists, or even a family doctor, who's known to listen to his or her patients, and work with them.

For example, my regular doctor is very willing to prescribe me medications to see what (if anything) will happen.

Oh, and if you research hypothyroid tests, you'll see that they mainly check for TSH, T3, and T4.