I recently noticed that my clitoris is smaller!
I called the doctor and was told it is probably a result of aging. I'm 56, healthy, active, slim. I'm distressed about this and now know the reason I've been having trouble getting to orgasm. I don't want to lose this part of my life. Does anyone else experience this? Is topical testosterone an option to help this?
Postmenopausal women may experience vaginal/vulvar atrophy due to less estrogen, and possibly testosterone (although testosterone doesn't decline as a result of menopause). Your doctor could have said, "it's probably a result of aging, and this is what we can try" and prescribed some form of estrogen to start with.
I'm 52 and have been progressively having difficulty reaching orgasm. When I was younger, it was very, very easy -- a couple of minutes was enough. I now have difficulty, even with a vibrator. I've been using a testosterone cream and trying to find the right dose. No dramatic results, but I'm giving it more time.
Liz_city, I had the same problem and I'm close to your age. Zaneblue's diet helped. Also, avoiding strong vibrators seems to have helped some too. Try to be patient if it takes longer.
The biggest help though has been mental adjustments. I have had to get used to the idea of assisting more. My clit is too finicky now to expect my husband to be able to do it himself every time - it's a joint project now. And still fun now that I'm not spending the whole time wishing it was like it was before.
Also, I've found that fantasizing helps a lot too. It sounds like you are similar to me - orgasm was easy enough that nothing much was needed beyond the right touch. So I never got in the habit of fantasizing. It was actually difficult at first, but surprisingly effective! (I guess you can teach an old lady new tricks!)
Have any of you ladies ever used an Eroscillator and teased yourself. Use it on the low motor and I like the small cup attachment. Tease your clit. Don't stay on it. Go deep into your vaginal canal. Spread wide and play let's pretend. That is the fun part. Mess around with your g-spot and go back to the clit and up again and never stay too long at one place. Make yourself want more but go somewhere else. When I am going to orgasm I go deep into the love canal and keep it there and die with the thrill of the passion it brings. ...Take care, Caroline
<small>[ 09-13-2007, 07:58 AM: Message edited by: Moderator ]</small>
averagewoman, there are other estrogen delivery methods you might try. I've always heard that clitoral atrophy can be prevented with estrogen replacement, so it would be worth looking into another option. Maybe you need more than what's in the suppository you're using. Not all doctors are sympathetic, either. Find one who'll work with you.
Yes, there's definitely adapting and resetting expectations at this age. I've found that I've learned to be much more sensual in a general sense than I was when I was young -- more time enjoying the overall experience, not so much just going for the gold ASAP, so to speak. It's very encouraging to hear from women my age and older. Eva and Caroline, you two are great role models!
I am having the same issue, and I am amazed that there is so little information out there. There is another part of having this condition that equates to having more UTI's and I am trapped by both of these issues. It's not about fantasies, I have plenty of those. It is a physical condition, if it were happening to men I am sure it would be mainstream news and studies would be well funded. Not male bashing but frustrated beyond measure that I can't get clear data or response in the 21st century to this problem. I won't give up. But please be mindful of UTI's untreated it can go to your kidneys.
In menopause, in the absence of estrogen, we expect women to lose '80% of their genitals'. Now that is pretty difficult to quantify and translate to how that affects us sexually, but there are dramatic changes that occur as a result of 'ovarian failure' and loss of hormones. Not surprising, using a localized estrogen can be helpful in minimizing those effects. Testosterone can be of benefit to some women, unfortunately, not all. And there is no FDA approved testosterone product for women in the US, so many physicians are unwilling to prescribe it 'off label' for use in women's sexual health.
This is a time that requires more intention and effort to get results. Vibrators have been mentioned, and also using warming or arousal lubricants can be of benefit too. Introducing massage oils, aromatic candles, music, etc can add to the necessary atmosphere. The more senses you can engage, the better the experience, especially for women. My website discusses some of these topics in more depth. www.middlesexmd.com
It is worth the time and energy to invest in this area of you life.
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