His and Her Health

I have a very small clitoris, and a thick clitorial hood. Also very large labia. Never had an orgasm until I turned 53 (with a vibrator, never with a partner). It is very difficult achieving orgasm, sometimes unsuccessful, even after trying an hour. It seems to take forever to "find the sweet spot" and them sometimes I remain on the plateau forever, never achieving the Big O. I would venture that I achieve orgasm 50% of the time.

Someone suggested that the small size of my clitoris along with the thickness of the hood could get in the way. Also, never having an orgasm until 53 could have some effect; i.e., the "connections" between the brain and the clitoris via nerves and blood vessels was never established.

Let me say that I have a very strong libido, and no lubrication/physical or psychological issues and take only vitamins and HRT/Testosterone. I have wonderful and loving partner.

I can not have an orgasm without being on top. Being on top is the only way I can achieve an orgasm. Try being on top and try different movements.

My wife also has a very small clitoris. I guess her hood would be average thickness if I compare it to other women I have been with. The only way I can get her to orgasm is through direct stimulation either with my hand or tongue. Usually the tongue is the only way for her to reach climax though and it can take a very long time, but it is worth if I can pleasure her. Also, when we have tried warming fluid it seems to draw more blood into the area and increase the size of her clitoris a tiny bit.

To Jesse: your description fits my wife, minus the vibrator. Same age, same thick hood. And the lack of connection between brain and genitals. In her case, it also used to be the other way round as well - she achieved vaginal orgasms (sort of) almost like a reflexive action, without much connection to her feelings.

Let me know how you coulkd progress, and if you know any solutions, especially on the psychological side. I realise, it is a very private matter. It is not easy for me either, as a lifetime partner.