His and Her Health

I am 60 yrs. old and have been a widow for 8 years. During those 8 years I was not sexually active. I now have a live-in companion who is also 60 years old and enjoys sex. Unfortunately for me, sex is not only painful but I am uncomfortable for days afterwards. I have been to a urologist many times because it feels as though I have a urinary tract infection but the cultures have all come back negative. My GYN doctor suggested I use vaginal tablets which didn't seem to work. I now use over-the-counter lubricants every single day to help heal my vaginal area. The skin in that area actually tears and bleeds. I cannot get any type of hormone therapy because I've had breast cancer. My partner is very sympathic and patient but I can't believe that there isn't some sort of solution to my problem. Is this all a part of growing old? Help!!!

My dear friend, I too am at these magic years in life. I had to go to my GYN in August and again in September as I, too, was so sore from sex. The second time he did find the solution. He told me about the tablets but I instead went with his strongest advice and that being the estring. This is a vaginal ring that is put in similar to a diaphragm and gives off the estrogen daily which helps the vaginal area as well as lubricating. It has enhanced our sex life. I have no more pain.. My doctor and I discussed that this was hormone therapy but I looked at it as I wanted the sex life more than the fear of what can happen. We all face this every day. I am no longer sore as I also had those tiny tears high in the vagina from his constant thrusting. In 6 days this showed so much improvement. It is expensive but so well worth it. It is changed every three months. I still would have gone with the estring but that is me. Our sex life is worth it.

I am older than you and these are the most wonderful and rewarding years that you are facing. Do not be afraid. Relax. Don't be bashful. Explore each other. Take it easy. I would suggest if you are having trouble with the soreness of the traditional missionary position I would suggest if you can to go on top of him. That way you would be able to insert his penis just a little bit at a time. Lubricate yourself well. This way you are in control with the amount of his penis you can take without hurting yourself. I would also try a dildo. Have your partner help you with this and again well lubricate it. There are just so many wonderful ways for you to enjoy your sexual life. I also definitely would start waking yourself up sexually. Masturbate or have him touch you a lot to wake up your vagina and get the blood flowing again. I think this should be done daily. It is part of our sexual life.

Please do not be afraid. These are the most wonderful and sexual years of your life. Stop thinking of being uncomfortable. Think of enjoyment. You are so lucky to have this companion to share it with. Be happy.

Please do not hesitate on asking anything else. I would take these Growing Old Years to the younger years any day. ANY DAY. You may too before long.

Thanks for your advice. My GYN did prescribe the ring and I used it once for a short period of time. I was afraid that I couldn't remove it when the 3 months were up so I removed it after a week or so. I had a hard time doing so but maybe I should try it again. The ring does give off estrogen but my GYN said it was such a small amount that I shouldn't worry about it.

That is not true. It gives off a lot. It builds up the lining of your vagina and the estrogen reaches as far forward as the clitoris so is helping you all the time. I have also been told this by one of the top Urologists. I believe that is why it is so expensive. I could tell it from the start after 6 days. I go back every 3 months and have my GYN put it in for me. I figure I would do it wrong and get it as a prescription and take it to him. This way it is covered and I just pay for the doctor call. If your partner happens to take it out by mistake just wash it off and put it back in. I am sure he could help you with this. This has not happened with us yet and I have had it since September 1st with a December 1st new insertion. It does not interfere with sex in the slightest. Give it a chance to work. The doctor told me up to 6 weeks. It did not take that long. 6 Days and it was kicking in. It is uncomfortable for about 36 hours when he first inserts it but goes away fast. I love it. Do not expect an overnight miracle but it is wonderful. I just feel so wonderful now and believe me we have a VERY active sex life.

Give it a try. It is the best there is to build up your lining of the vagina. You just may be more than surprised.
Happiest of Holidays. If I can ever lend a hand just ask.

<small>[ 01-09-2006, 10:15 PM: Message edited by: Moderator ]</small>

Besides estrogen you may want to consider using a comfrey cream and/or sea buckthorn oil. I am recovering from vulvodyina and vaginal fissures (tears in the vulva and vagina) with a lot of pain and soreness and discomfort. Do some research on both comfrey, sea buckthorn oil and the effects on the vagina and vulva. I also use an estrogen crea premarin and I find that the estrogen helps for the long term for building up the vagin and the comfrey and sea buckthorn oil help heal the vulva and vagina after sex. Best of luck!