His and Her Health

this might be long but i need to vent...<P>after 8 months in a great relationship with the most wonderful guy i have ever known, my libido went away. i immediately thought it was a psychological or physical problem in me, i'm prone to mild depression and am an obsessively negative thinker. i can't beleive it's just that i went off him, as surely i would have felt a tad emotionally detached in the knowledge that he could no longer turn me on? we stayed together for 2 more years with lots of affection and hope that it would come back but we eventually ended it recently as my anger towards myself was causing us to fall apart and i feel he deserves someone who can give him what i can't. could it be thyroid disease? or another hormonal thing- note i came off the pill 6 months before we split and it did nothing to boost me. i had previously a fairly good sex drive and didn't experience this with my last boyfriend. maybe its phychological, i had one mildly sexually traumatic event when i was a kid for which ive seen counsellers and therapists, and i can talk openly about, i honestly dont beleive its that. since i can't come to terms with losing sex drive for a man i love very much, i've started to ask myself deeper questions, such as am i a closet lesbian, although i'm not attracted to women, i know homosexuality can show itself in a lack of desire for sex with men rather than attraction to women. im going crazy here. note i am prone to depression as im a chronic worrier and at times i get panic attacks. i don't know if the loss of drive caused the depression and stress or if it's the other way around. can anybody relate to this? has anyone found an answer to a similar problem? please help!!!

Your problems are all very real BUT before you decide you are a lesbian or crazy try and get your hormones checked. Low estrogen and thyroid problems are both implicated in DEPRESSION ( and of course both contribute to low libido) but hardly ever thought about in the Drs office. How old are you?

I am also a worrier, prone to depression and panic attacks. I have experienced most of what you mentioned. I decided to do somthing about it and get my hormone levels checked.I found I have very low levels of testosterone. I now use 2 % testosterone cream daily. I can not tell you how much better I feel. I now think about sex. I am not taking the pill any longer. I have also just started on natural progesterone. So far all of my pms symtoms have disappeared along with the depression. Siren is corrrect about getting your hormone levels tested. It has made all of the difference in the world. I am having them retested next week.

Gosh those symptoms apply to me also. Im a chronic worrier and I seem to battle depression in different degrees much of the time. Every doctor I have seen has told me it's in my head to the point I really feel crazy. I have no sexual self or esteem. It never occurred to me to have my harmones checked until I found this board. I'm seeing a new internist Monday and now have a list of harmones to check. Then all they have me on for so many things probably contribute. Bad sexual marriage (rejecting of me) for 30 years and a divorce 3 years ago...So I can't wait to see. Suddenly I'm having hot flashes,irritable, never sleep, and very anxious. So Im following the women's suggestion - get harmones checked. Im also going to see the Bermans. I have a question for those who have see them. Is it important to see them both or is it as okay to just see one? pinkrose

WHY do you want to see just one of them?Maybe I can help answer some of your concerns.<p>[This message has been edited by lam (edited 26 October 2002).]

that's the weird thing! i've just gone 24 years old! i always assumed everything hormonal etc would still be in good working order at my age. i'm definitely going to get myself checked out. thanks for the advice, all of you. i'll keep checking back here to reassure myself i'm not alone anymore!! X

Daffy, I am 22 and have sexual problems, too. I think I've had low desire since I was 9 or 10, because before then I had sexual fantasies. Some of us are born with sexual problems, and some of us develop them along the way, but 43% of women have them at some point. <P>I want to say a few things about hormones. First off, I can recommend some books if you'd like. I found Natural Hormone Balance for Women by Uzzi Reiss very informative. I also enjoyed Susan Rako's The Hormone Of Desire, but it is geared only toward post-menopausal women. She doesn't believe that young women can have low testosterone unless they've had chemotherapy or a hysterectomy, but she DOES explain a lot about the hormone. <P>About birth control pills: just because you quit taking them doesn't mean your body will bounce back to being the way it was before they caused the problem (if they are indeed the cause). Your body forgot how your hormones used to be, and it could be out of balance from use of the pill. You might have high estrogen, which can bind up free testosterone because it produces SHBG's (sex hormone binding globulins). Or, your testosterone may be low. Less likely if you've never been pregnant or nursed, but you could have high prolactin. That can supress desire, as can oxytocin, but both these are related to having kids. Still, sometimes they get elevated, anyway. <P>Are you on any medications? Anti-depressants are notorious for causing low libido, especially SSRI's and older pills. <P><P>------------------<BR>In case you want to visit my testosterone page, it is at <A HREF="mama.indstate.edu/users/anon/fsd/test.html" TARGET=_blank>mama.indstate.edu/users/anon/fsd/test.html</A>