His and Her Health

I guess I am going to have to be the goofie one and ask this question since noone else has. Is there a physical reason for women to feel the need to reproduce? I mean, I just found out that a girlfriend of mine is expecting her 3rd (4th if you count the still born about 3 yrs ago). I can't really explain what is going onin my body right now! I want another child. I have 11 yr old twins and have had 2 miscarriages and they were both twins so I know what I would be in for! All of my BRAIN cells are screaming that I am completely insane! My kids are finally at the age that they don't demand so much from me. I can finally leave them here to go to work if I NEED to. Not to mention that we just cannot afford another child! <BR> My heart and body is another story altogether! I want another chance to have a vaginal birth (my twins were born by c-section). I miss the small clothes being washed and having to be folded! I miss a small child, mine are as big as I am now! <BR> Is there a reason for this? Hormones? MENTAL PROBLEMS? I am looking for serious answers here! My husband would probibly kill his self if he found out that I was having another one! or two(OMG) but for some reason, I can't explain, it all seems worth it! To feel the first kick and hear the first cry, even the 2am feedings. The first time you hold that child that the two of you made out of love for eachother. DO I NEED THERAPY? I have been like this for a while but knowing she is expecting again has made it worse. Could it be age? I'll be 30 this month. SOMEONE HELP PLEASE!!! <BR> Angela

Theory 1)Maybe you just love children bigtime. Not all women do. In Ireland we commonly refer to this desire to have children as "broodiness" or being "broody". I have rarely been broody in my life as far as children are concerned. However, I LOVE dogs and if I spot a really cute one, I feel broody and greatly desire to have my own dog. I don't think this broodiness will ever go away, it will merely ebb and flow. I console myself with the thought that when I retire from work in my mid-sixties or whatever, that I will then have the time to properly care for a dog.<P>Perhaps you could console yourself with the thought that in so many year's time you might have lovely little grandchildren to care for??? <P>Theory2)There is a hormone called oxytocin that I know almost nothing about&#058; it promotes mother-child bonding and I have heard that our levels of it increase when we are under stress. Don't know if that's true or not, but I certainly have had a great deal of stress in my life and I do not ge broody when stressed....<P>I think,therefore, that theory 1 is the more reliable one.<P>Q.E.D. <BR>(!)

MissAnn, I can totally relate.I am 35 and have 1 child (age5). I can relate to everything you have said. I have this overwhelming desire to have another child too.There has got to be some sort of hormonal connection involved here. I think about it almost daily.

I don't know anything about it except firsthand experience. I've never been a person much into "cute" except when I was nursing my two babies. Then all of a sudden the nursing hormones made me just want to look at babies all the time. Not just babies--baby shoes, baby clothes, bunnies, kittens, ponies, it was like I had taken some kind of mind-altering drug. My need to look at cuteness was as intense as some men's need to look at porn, and it was such a dramatic change from my normal personality that I'm sure it was somehow hormonally based.

Angela and everyone else who has answered. I am somewhat envious of all of you. My husband and I never had children and never will. I only wished I had had the opportunity to feel what you have all felt. I am empathetic to the fact that you,Angela, are not in a position to have another child, but want one. So I do not mean to dismiss your concerns by my posts. But I do envy that feeling. I wish you the best.

Iam, I understand your situation. I have a very good friend who would love nothing more than to have a child. Due to hormonal and physical problems she is unable to. She would give absolutely anything to be able. We have talked about it and I think I understand where you are coming from. I just wanted to let you kow that, though I don't know first hand how you feel, I do kind of understand. Thank you for your reply and Godspeed <BR>Angela

Missann<BR>Thank you that was very kind of you and very sweet too. I hope things work out for you. Take care.

You have given and gotten good advice. The overwhelming force that makes the world go round is our desire to reproduce. I know it hit me at 30 and I had never been interested. I think that the fact that you lost babies could also be playing a factor and maybe some councelling would help. Its funny several years after I had my child, I got THAT feeling again and we decided to not use any BC and nothing much happened, I was probably peri menopausal by then and very irregular. I had a miscarriage when i was forty. And though I mourned that loss, I* also knew in my heart I didn't want a 10 year old at 50 and ran as fast as I could for a new IUD, and didn't regret it.

<BR>I think it's normal for women to want children, it's a biological imperitive! <P>But if you DO decide to have another child, you still have time, if you're anything like average. On average, women have their last child (without fertility drugs) at around age 40. It's rare to naturally conceive a child after 40. So says a professor of mine with a biology degree, so I guess she knows what she's talking about. Of course from this board I've learned that menopause can happen at any time, but on average, you know, you have about 10 more years to decide, and your situation might change, you might get another chance to. And if you can afford it and you want it, why not? But do keep in mind, grandchildren are most likely down the road for you, unless you're unlucky enough to have kids like me, who don't want them! But you've got two, probably at least one of them will be reproducing! <BR><p>[Note: This message has been edited by NEWSHE Moderator]

Moderator, do you have it out for me? Why won't you ever tell me what you didn't like about my post so that I can avoid such topics and my time writing things I thought were relevant will not be wasted. Is there some place where there is a list of things that will be deleted if we post them? It feels personal. I don't understand.

Maybe your supposed to have another child. I dunno, like a new child is MEANT to be there. Like the books that talk about women who know there is another kid waiting to be born for them and stuff, like we plan what we want. Maybe your ready to have your other child and know it's time. I dunno. If your meant to have another child/en, it will happen. Best of luck to you

I do not have any children yet, but would like to in the future. In the meantime though, I find that the idea of conceiving a child during sex is by far the biggest turn on! I don't know if it's just the female's need to produce offspring or what? I know that I don't want children right now or can even afford them for that matter, but I am looking forward to being pregnant. In fact, since I'm not really ready for kids, I'm more looking forward to pregnancy than children. Is that weird? Just conceiving and being pregnant are exciting to me. Sometimes when my husband and I are making love, we'll both pretend that we're trying to conceive. It's the hottest sex ever! I can only imagine what the sex will be like when I'm no longer on the pill and we really are trying to conceive!<BR>I suppose it's kind of off the topic, but in a way connected. Maybe I'm just experiencing the biological need for children in a different way. The creation of life is exciting in and of itself. I guess I just want to experience the miracle.

Thank you all for the replies. My husband thinks I am completely insane!! He may be right, who knows. I do this every so often and it sounds like I am not the only one! I will be 30 on the 23rd of August and The Siren said that is when she noticed that she started wanting children, maybe it is biological. Good luck to you all and Godspeed!! Angela