His and Her Health

I am so frustrated with my husband. I had posted before that we had trouble communicating about sex. I thought I had broken through to him and was finally getting somewhere. I was wrong. We did try a new position that he requested, which I was happy to try and it worked out great. One hight after I had given him oral sex I asked him if he had ever given a woman oral sex. He said no and that he had not really thought about it. He said he thought things were good enough and that he was happy with the things were. I tried as delicately as I could to explain to him that I would love it if he would try new things on me such as oral sex or experiment with toys. Asked if he would read about it or try different things and he brushed me off. I suppose that he is getting things the way he likes them he doesn't think this is a problem in that there are things I would like to try. I enjoy oral sex and would like to be the receiver too. HELP! I am getting to where I don't care to have sex because I know that he doesn't have any concern that I'm not satisfied. He also told me that he was afraid that if we didn't have sex when I was trying to initiate it that I would get mad. I wouldn't get mad, but it really hurt my feelings that he would only have sex to keep me from getting angry. This is really taking it's toll on me and beginning to make me depressed. I don't know what to say or do to let him know how important this is to me.

Gusso, There is a rule in my house, You don't give you don't get Period!!!!!<BR> However, there are times that I have to do it. Not because of him, it is an urge that I have! Try using that rule. It doesn't really work around here because he knows that eventually I will want to do it and he is not going to tell me no! <P>Maybe your husband would be more comfortable writing things down that he is not sure of, I am. I have always been that way. It can start (the cure) with letters being passed between the two of you, then move to reading them to eachother and then eventually you may work up to actaully talking(wouldn't that be cool?)<P> I hope this works for you. Good luck and Godspeed! Angela

Sex should be an equal partnership and if one partner is being selfish, it just doesn't work. Have you expressed your feelings of one-sidedness? Perhaps next time he makes a request for oral sex, you agree on the condition that he reciprocates. Who knows, he may even get off seeing you enjoying it so much. He'll never know unless he tries. And if he tries it, and discovers that it's really not for him, maybe there is something else you'd like him to try instead and oral sex can be an occassional thing. <BR>There's a compromise that needs to be in place. And if he's unwilling to agree to the terms, I suggest buying the toys you've wanted to try, and try them on your own or have him watch. Maybe it will encourage him. I would also agree less to his desires until he's willing to start meeting your needs.<BR>Hope I've helped.<P>Hollywood

Gesso, I think we should start a club.

thanks for the advice...I am not so willing to do anything anymore. He is so hard to talk to. But guess I'll keep trying. I love the people on this forum, at least I know I'm not alone.<P><BR>I agree Babs

I've tried to say 'none for you unless I get something too', but I just can't--I guess I never want him to be able to say that the reason he isn't responding to me is because I haven't been doing anything for him. In fact, I first hoped that by 'setting a good example', I would inspire him to reciprocate...nope--he just thanks me. But I think it's not working for me anymore--I'm so resentful that if he suddenly decided he was going to do something for me, I don't think I could enjoy it. Not sure how to get past that sticking point--I think I'd need to know what the problem has been for the past 8 months (out of our 1 year relationship). I've never had an unwilling partner before...kinda odd, and very vexing!<BR>PS--I'm glad to know I'm not being unreasonable in being po'd about this...I'm usually such a sweet girl, and it's hard for me to complain, especially about something like this, to a man...'must first blame self' right?...

OK, ladies, time to get tough. How do teller-marketers make their sale? They don't give you the opportunity to say no. (You need this product. I have this product. Give me you credit card number and I'll sent it to you. Think about it!) If you want it, don't beg for it, demand it. If he tries to weasel out, tell him in no uncertain terms, "I want you to get on your knee and...right now." If he says, "I'm hungry.", say, "I"m horny, come over here and lick me until I scream your name." <BR>Don't hold out on him because that's the first excuse he'll use to go somewhere else. Instead give him everything he wants and when he's too starry-eyed to speak, get up, get dressed and walk out without a word. If he has enough sense to ask what you're doing, tell him "You've gotten your satisfaction, now I'm going to get mine. I'm going shopping/jogging/swimming (or whatever might please you)." Nothing more. If he doesn't ask, don't offer any info at all. If he cares at all, it won't take him long to figure out that things need to change. If he doesn't, you need to rethink the relationship.<BR>If you really want to make his head spin, get yourself some adult toys that will serve your purpose. I saw one the other day that is made to simulate oral sex on women. (I'm going back for that one!) After you finish with him get it out and show him how much YOU enjoy satisfying sex too. It may hurt his feelings, but it seems he doesn't mind hurting yours...<BR>I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but women have put themselves last way too long. I can do without a lot of things--the last spoonful of strawberry cheesecake ice cream that my baby is whining for even though I know she will probably spit it on the floor; the end of a good TV show because my boys just have to watch Shrek for the thousandth time on satillite--never mind they have the movie in the hutch!; missing Dr. Phil or the Drs. Berman on Oprah because dear hubby has to have dinner AT 6:00PM or else it won't digest right (haven't figured that on out after 7 yrs.) but I draw the line with mediocre sex.

Thank you!! thankyou...Man that was good...almost better than sex. Well, MUCH better than the sex I've had lately.<BR>I will definately keep you, and the image you gave me in mind, next time...I'm almost hoping next time won't be any good (it won't ) just so I can try this out...thank you!<BR>thankyou...<BR>c