His and Her Health

I hear the answers to probing into my problem, but not the ones I need. I am 33, my youngest children are twins that are now 11. Up until the last month of my last pregnacy, I didn't have any sexual problems. It was not uncommon for my H and me to have sex 3 or 4 times a day.<BR>But, after 5 years of almost no sexual desire, my husband divorced me. My doctors answer to my problem was to "Get more excercise". I guess walking 2 miles a day wasn't enough to cure me. Now, 11 years into this problem, I am tired of being put off, and told that nothing is wrong with me. <BR>I can not afford to go from doctor to doctor. And if I can by some miracle find a doctor who will test my testosterone levels, how will I be able to afford it? I don't have medical insurance right now. And, saying I find a doctor who will do the tests, and actually prescribes.... how expensive will that be?<BR>I am currently in a relationship for just over 3 years, and though he really hasn't complained about my lack of desire, I know that it sometimes bothers him. I don't want to lose another relationship to this problem.<BR> <BR>For those of you who want more information: I am not on any medications. I haven't nursed children for 10 years. Maybe once a month I have a desire for sexual contact, but that is very fleeting. I don't have any problems with orgasm, some are more intense than others. <P>I can understand why my husband left me. It must have been terrible for him after the great sex life we had prior to this problem. No matter how many times I tried to explain to him that is was me, he took it personally. He wanted our sex life back so badly that it came to the point that every time I tried to hug him, he was groping me and fondling me, and of course, then I would get irritated. It must have been torture to him, for me to want so much to be close to him, and need his affection, but not want him to make any sexual <BR>advances. To my husband, right or wrong,<BR>love = sex. Thankfully, my current relationship is not based on those standards.<P>Anyone, who can tell me, how do I finance this situation? I want to have the testosterone tests done, and if appropriate, take the med.<BR>Any suggestions?

I wish I could tell you that I have all the answers to your problems but I don't. I do however understand the financial situation that you are in! I also have to admire you for having the strength to raise your children as a single mother. Even with a father who is around and not living with them it can be tough at best! I do think that you have come to the right place to try and find out what you can. The people on this board are wonderful! Very informative, patient, caring and loving! We maynot be able to help with the money but maybe someone knows some who knows someone.....you never know! <P> It is sad but true that women with sexual disfunction do have a hard time getting taken seriously! You have my simpathy and unfortionately right now that is all i can offer you, that and a friend and a Prayer! Good luck and Godspeed! Angela

I posted a message to you this am but it never appeared??? anyway the only test you need ask for is total and FREE (most important) and many Knowledgeable physicians don't even test for testosterone because levels fluctuate all day long and if you have the symptoms of low testosterone you likely HAVE low testosterone. My 2% gel (60 grams enough for a twice daily application) cost me $25 dollars a month from one of the big international compounding pharmacies. Some women on this board are paying almost double that at there local pharmacy so shop around. The biggest objection most physicians have in RXing T is the damage it can do to a fetus so you have to have your BC issues in order. oNE WAY TO FIND DOCTORS WHO rx TESTOSTERONE IS TO CONTACT EITHER A LOCAL compounding pHARMACY OR ON OF THE BIG MAIL ORDER ONES AND ASK FOR DOCTORS WHO ARE rxING NATURAL HORMONES IN YOUR AREA ( whoops hit cap locks and to lazy to retype) You do not need to be tested for every hormone known to man at this point.<p>[This message has been edited by the siren (edited 12 August 2002).]

Due to other medical issues that have cost me thousands per year, I know how difficult and expensive it is. (I had to pay $70 to a hemotologist who poked me in the ribs, looked at me and said, "You're anemic." I said, "I've been poked by cuter doctors than you and I knew I was anemic before I got here. Do I still have to pay?" Of course, I did. Anyway, I've learned to cut corners.<BR>Find a "sex shop" or someone who does parties and check out a toy to stimulate you, preferably one that increases blod flow to the genital area. The Silver Bullet can get you hopping or one that fits over your clitoris and does a sucking motion. Try a cream. FUN has a great one called Sudden Comfort. It's green and minty. After a bath or shower, lie down, put a little on your clitoris and have the ceiling fan on high. That should get your blood flowing.<BR>If it works, it's well worth the money. If it doesn't, it's still cheaper than a doctor visit. And much more fun. Good Luck.<BR>Something else to consider is depression. It affects everyone differently and can do horrid things to you without you realizing it. A friend recently got on Zoloft and said it's wonderful. She was tired all the time and had no interest in sex either. She said it works wonderfully. Another girl I know said it helped her depression, but left her with little interest in sex. Unfortunately, the only way to know which works best for you is to try one brand and switch if it gives you trouble.

Maryln I have to disagree. Toys and vibrators may affect orgasm and response BUT they will not and cannot affect desire, that is controlled by your testosterone. And NO ONE should ever take anti depressants unless all other avenues of treating serious depression have failed, ALL of them even Welbutrin (though not as often) can kill desire but the SSRI KILL desire in about 60% of users and it doesn't always just come back when you stop!. There are some NUTRIENT anti depressants Sam-e and 5HTP that are as effective as PROZAC ( clinical studies )and do not effect libido. I just would NEVER advise someone to take unnessesary drugs there are too many side efffcts. I still have dizzy spells and permanent loss of balance due to DEPO PROVERA and I haven't had it in seven years.

gonecrazy, another way to increase Testosterone is with DHEA which is a Hormone but available in this country (USA) without a prescription. BUT I would do a web search as it is controversial and I would also suggest you get a copy of Natural Hormone Balance for Women by Uzzi Reiss Md Ob/Gyn it willo tell you everything you need to know about hormones including DHEA and testosterone.

Sorry, I didn't mean to be offensive. I don't advocate med's at all; I can barely stand to take the one that I need to function on a daily basis. What I meant was that everone around me knew I was depressed and needed help, but I didn't. It took a long time for me to admit it. I'm glad I finally got help, I really did need it. And now I can look back and see the difference.<BR>As for the toys and creams, I figure if they work, it not a T problem and you've saved lots of money. Where I am, I must go to the doctor to get the order for bloodwork, go to the hospital to get blood drawn, they then forward to a lab, and I go back to th Dr. for him to read and interpret the test. Each is a seperate bill and it gets costly. I've had bills from the lab where one test costed over $600 (not related to sex) and they usually test more than one thing at a time.<BR>I've since learned to research every possibility on my own and bring that information and files from other MD's to each appointment. That way they don't redo the same tests and letting them know that I'm not just standing by for them to experiment on me has gone a long way. <BR>Again, sorry for any offense; none was intended.

I posted a reply yesterday, but apparently it didn't post to the website.<P>Thank you all for answering me so quickly.<P>To MaryLn, I do not intend to take any anti-depressant medication when I am not depressed. I don't have any problems with things such as orgasm, and I am not affraid to admit that I have used several different sex toys from time to time that are really quite enjoyable. But they still don't address the problem of not having any desire for sex, for the past 11 years.<P>I am not the type of person to take any medication that I don't find strictly necessary. The fact is, I have turned down a few doctors for antibiotics that were prescribed for bronchitis, because, strictly speaking, antibiotics will not do anything for a virus, but will build an immunity in my body towards the antibiotics, and that could be a problem if I ever do happen to need antibiotics. (side note for anyone interested: Bronchitis is caused by a virus, and antibiotics will NOT CURE viruses).<P>But, like I mentioned before, I have already lost one relationship, due to my lack of a desire for sex, and I don't want to lose a second relationship to the very same problem.<BR>If any one of you out there has found a true and deep love, one that you thought would be forever, then you know what I had with my first husband, and the heartbreak I went through when he divorced me. And even though it is now almost 7 years later, and a new relationship.... I still love my ex-husband, and I probably always will.<P>Back to my original question, does anyone know the cost of these blood tests? and how to find a doctor in southern california who will do them and possibly prescribe the correct med if necessary?<BR>thanks<BR>gonecrazytoo<BR>Barstow, CA<BR>

One more thing:<P>Does anyone know anything about Vimaca?<BR>I would be interested in hearing about it.<P>thanks,<BR>gonecrazytoo

Call your local lab and ASK what the blood test cost!!!!! And did you even read my reply? Call your local COMPOUNDING PHARMACY and ask what physicians in your area are RXing testosterone cream/gel if there isn't one call Kronos 1 800 723 7455 or Womens International 1800 279 5708 These big mail order pharmacies pioneered Natural Hormones and for many years were the only source and both have referral services and can tell you if they have been working with Doctors in your area.

Also, there is a test for FREE testosterone that you can do yourself, at home, so that might be cheaper, BUT you'd probably have to have total tested, too (unless you get a really knowledgable doctor who knows what they are doing and can diagnose deficiency without a test), and I've heard the saliva test (the one you can do at home) is not as accurate. Still, it would be cheaper than a doctor's visit and lab work! I will see if I can locate info on this test for you.

I don't recommend the home test. You still need a doctors authorization to be able to order it from aeron.com ($44.00) BUT testosterone is by prescription ONLY so no matter what, you are going to have to see a physician. The saliva test is for free testosterone but accuracy is questionable. I HAVE NEVER HAD A TESTOSTERONE TEST!!!!! Many physician don't even bother , if you have symtoms you are probably LOW!!! And T tests are notoriously inaccurate and levels fluctuate through out the daqy and the month.

TheSiren,<BR>Well, Pardon me for not KNOWING IT ALL.<BR>I am not a medical doctor or student, and I don't tend to keep all medical terms on the tip of my tongue for daily use. Nor do I appreciate your rudeness.<P>End of this topic, have a nice day.<BR>

Do you want advise or do you want some generous soul to foot your medical bills? I don't think anyone means any harm. Lack of desire can be caused by several things and if your not willing to pay for medical treatment or try alternatives, you're pretty much out of luck. Let's be reasonable. You probably won't luck across someone who can say, "I had the same problem and found that eating 2 oranges a day fixed me right up!" OK, I'll draw back the claws now.<BR>If it's a blood flow problem, toys and creams may or may not help. If you're too tired, that's something else. If you're depressed and don't want to admit it (and I'm not suggesting you are), that also closes many doors. HERE'S SOMETHING: Did you have a C-section or vaginal delivery? Nerves may have been damaged or compromised.<BR>If you want to go to a doctor and just can't afford it, ask for a payment plan. If you can pay the initial visit in full, they may be willing to bill you monthly for subsequent visits. If your Dr. refers you to someone else, explain your situation and they may also make a payment plan. As for labs, hospitals, etc., they do not usually ask for full payment the day of services. You will get a bill in the mail. As long as you are paying something every month and don't let 30 days go without making a payment, they have to accept it and cannot mark your credit. In some states, if a debtor refuses a partial payment, you can have the entire bill wiped out. <BR>I really hope this helps. Sorry for being mean.

lack of being willing to pay for it? don't make assumtions without basis.<P>what am I supposed to do, make a doctors appointment, then find out that I can't afford whatever the price for the labs are? not to mention any meds and follow up visits and labs?<P>If I have some sort of idea what I am getting myself into, then I can make some kind of plan and a time line of when I will have enough money to get it all done. Why go to the doctor only to find out that now, with a diagnosis and a prescription, I can't afford it for another six months. or the labs come back and cost $1000, and I can't pay for them?<P>Having enough information makes it a whole lot easier to make a game plan to follow and maybe find some success.<P>I thought sure that with everyone out there, who has found a doctor and had the tests run, and getting meds, might have some idea what I am looking at cost wise. But I guess not.