His and Her Health

I have an 8 month old son and 3 1/2 yr. old daughter. My husband and I have been married for 8 yrs. and I'm 30 yrs. old. My problem is that I have NO sexual desire since my son was born. I'm still breastfeeding my son, so I'm really hoping this is the root of the problem. I know it's me because I love my husband very much and I want to want to have sex with him. He can tell I'm not into it and doesn't want it if I don't desire it. Even though it's very stressful and exhausting raising 2 little ones, I do take time for myself by taking dance classes twice a week, walking daily, scrapbooking, go out with a girlfriend, etc... My husband helps with the kids and household duties more than any other husband I know. I know stress and exhaustion are key reasons for lack of sexual desire with many moms, but I don't think that's the situation in my case because I'm taking better care of myself than ever. I have to for my own sanity!<BR>I've tried intercourse only a few times and it's very dry and uncomfortable. I try to satisfy my husband sexually without my genitals being involved, because I don't want him touching me sexually. It's hard to describe, but it just feels "yucky"! My husband is the best. He's extremely patient. I'm planning on nursing my son until he's 1, like I did with my daughter. I even offered to stop nursing my son and my husband said, "I've waited 8 months, I can wait another 4". But I know it's really going to be longer than another 4 months. Does anyone know how long after I stop nursing should I allow for my hormones to get normalized? I know my next steps would be to have my hormone levels checked, but I know it's pointless now because I'm still breastfeeding. I've never really had a high sexual desire, except in the very beginning of our relationship-and I was only 19 and sex was a novelty. I do remember having some sexual desire though. I don't think my husband and I will ever have the same level of desire, but this is ridiculous. Has anyone else experienced this? Any words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated.

Absolutely. That's perfectly normal. I have a pretty high sex drive but had zero interest in sex both times that I breastfed. It's the hormones.

Oh yes I experienced this and my libido did not return. The lack of interest caused by Oxytocin and Prolactin is by design. Mother Nature knows your baby has a better chance of survival if you don't get pregnant while you are nursing. Thye Bermans are investigaqting why so many women lose there sex drive after the second baby, i think again Mother Nature is hedging her bets, if you have only two they have a better chance of surviving ( remember most of human history was spent in a cave)the other scenario is having a high sex drive angd having many you might also have two survive. I hope you will be among those whose LIBIDO returns after you stop nursing. If not there are some treatments and more in the works.

Thank you both zaneblue and the siren for responding! I really appreciate it. Zaneblue- that's very encouraging that your desire returned after breastfeeding! I'm glad to hear there's hope. Do you remember approximately how long after you stopped nursing that your desire returned? I'm just trying to get an idea of what I'm in for!

A couple months.