His and Her Health

I just broke up with my fiance. I thought I was fairly openminded but either I was wrong or he was just light years ahead of me and it ended up him putting me down because I was too "not adventurous". He said he had several long term (one for 9 years) relationships where he and his other had group sex, usually a 3some and that it worked fine, that he did it because he wanted his lover to have pleasure and he said he got pleasure from watching, it was sometimes another guy, sometimes another girl. But I know me, I'd just be "jealous" is all. So we broke up and I just never could get comfortable with the idea. It goes counter to what my idea of what mature love is. Am I just an old fogey? Geez, what is this world coming to for an old hippie chick?

I've been married to two different women who did the swapping/3-some thing, each one time only. Both regretted it and said it marked the beginning of a strained relationship. I'm like you. I think it would bother me afterwards, if not during. It would probably be sexy, but not worth it.

I once had sex with a married woman who asked if we could include her husband the next time, only as an observer, because he liked to watch. No way! I never saw her again.

You did the right thing to break up. One of you (probably both) would not have been happy in the relationship. Look for the right guy for you -- he's out there somewhere -- and you won't need anyone else to complicate the relationship.

Thanks for your replay and helping me to see that I did the right thing. No I don't think we would have been happy, he would have felt deprived and I would have resented the fact that just the two of us wasn't enough for him. Its interesting what you said about the 2 other women. According to my exfiance, all kinds of people are doing it I just don't know it. Part of his campaign to win me over probably. Whoever is doing it, it ain't me. Thanks again I didn't see your name, but take care.

By the way, I would defintely (as you did) say no to the husband watching thing, I know people do this, but I'd be afraid he might decide not to be merely an observer and do something. Too scary, did you know she was married?

No, I didn't know she was married until she asked about him watching. It was a one-night stand. Actually, she was the first after my late wife's death. I did later have extended affairs with a couple married women, however. One was only for sex -- her husband had no interest in sex, so we met several times for a day or two of wild sex. The other was similar, except I did have very strong feelings for her. She finally left him and moved in with me. We're now happily married. She's also an "AgingHippieChick". I can't help but think of her when I see your posting name.

I'm glad you two were able to hit it off together. Its hard nowadays to make a connection with somebody (my feelings especially since my fiasco fiance). Most aging hippie chicks are cool. thanks for writing.