His and Her Health

I had the second orgasm of my life last night using a vibrator and after I was done using it, everything felt "numb" down there. It got me kinda worried and I'm wondering if vibrators can cause nerve damage, or if they make it so you can only cum by using them?? Also, I'm not positive it was an orgasm, but pretty sure... I felt a wave of tingling sensation and then noticed I was having small contractions. Does that sound right?? Thanks for any help.

That sounds about right. Congratulations! <P><A HREF="www.newshe.com/articles/vibrrrrators.shtml" TARGET=_blank>www.newshe.com/articles/vibrrrrators.sht.../A><P>Women worry wrongly that use of a vibrator will make them dependent upon it or be unable to become aroused or reach orgasm without it. A vibrator can be helpful because it provides a level of stimulation that no human can produce. Many women (and men) are under the misconception that a vibrator will cause a lack of interest in a partner. It's true that orgasm may happen more easily with a vibrator, but sex is about a lot more than orgasm. No machine can replace intimacy, body contact, and human connection. Ideally, a vibrator can be used to incorporate all a woman learns about her body during self-stimulation into a relationship.<p>[This message has been edited by sharon3 (edited 24 February 2003).]

Thanks Sharon. <BR>So it's not true that a vibrator causes nerve damage? I remember reading an article online saying that vibrators cause "deadening" of the clitoris or something along those lines.

It's reasonable that overly vigorous stimulation could cause injury. I wouldn't place the vibrator directly on the clitoris and hold it there for a long time, or push down too hard. Found this Q&A in Redbook magazine:<P>Q: My clitoris became numb when I used my vibrator on it. Have I done permanent damage? <BR>A: Just as a cut or a blister heals, so will numbed-out nerves. But if your clitoris is becoming numb from your vibrator, you're applying too much pressure, says sex expert Betty Dodson, Ph.D., the author of Sex for One. "You'll get the most pleasure if you vary the pressure and move the vibrator around," she says. For more information on how to use a vibrator, check out Carol Queen's Great Vibrations, a how-to video .<p>[Note: This message has been edited by NEWSHE Moderator]

K<P>I have loss of sensation in the clitoris and I don't know if it is attributable to using a vibrator for years, or to something else (or a combination).<P>Most info I've found says that vibrators can't damage the clitoris. The only website I found that says they can is run by a guy called Dr. Lin.<P>I saw Dr. Goldstein in Boston & he said that he didn't think the nerve damage would have been caused by a vibrator, because he sees people all the time who have used a vibrator for years and who don't have nerve damage.<P>I also saw a guy who was qualified as a GP & as a Chinese medicine practitioner. He said that he thought the vibrator COULD cause damage, because people who use vibrating equipment, e.g. jackhammers, can suffer nerve damage. <P>It doesn't seem unreasonable to me that if you repeatedly stimulate a nerve at a frequency that nature never intended nerves to take, you might damage the nerve. Also just because one person has been using a vibrator for years without damage, it doesn't mean that everyone is affected in the same way.<P>I guess the jury's still out on this, but if it was me, I wouldn't use it until I knew for sure. I have stopped using mine. If you want, I can post how I achieve orgasm without it.<P>Could you please post more info about the site you found which said vibrators cause deadening of the clitoris? I haven't seen that one.<P>Thanks.

The website I found was probably the same one you did. The "Dr." was Asian. It had the word love in the link, I believe. Yes, please tell how you achieve orgasm because I am having a helluva time!!!!!

K<P>This is what always worked for me.<BR> <BR>Lie on your back with your legs bent & slightly apart. Let your knees fall out to the side. Presuming you are right-handed: In your left fist, grab the crotch of your underwear & pull it forward so that you are holding it in your fist which is resting on top of your pubic bone. The backside part (i.e. thinnest part) of your underwear should now be taut across the top of your clitoris. With your right index fingernail repeatedly stroke your clitoris (through your underwear) from back to front. While you are doing this, replay your favourite fantasy in your head.<P>Tips (!)<BR>Dry off your vulva before you start to prevent underwear sticking to you.<BR>Nylon underwear works best.<BR>You can move your left fist to vary the ‘pull’ on your clitoris.<BR>Works best if your fingernail is quite long. (My bf laughs in a mean & knowing fashion if I break this nail!)<BR>Works much better if your partner is with you as he can touch other parts of you that turn you on. Also, in my experience, guys love to watch & knowing that he is turned on can turn you on.<P>If you have trouble orgasming, I suggest you make the whole event as sexy as you can, e.g. nice room, candles, sheets, wear sexy clothes, maybe read or watch something sexy first to get you going. <P>I don’t know if it will work for you but I guess it’s worth a shot. BTW I just read over some of your posts & you said something about a thyroid problem – have you checked into a link between thyroid & orgasm problems?<P>Good luck.<BR>

That actually sounds painful. I'm probably a little over sensitive (which isn't as great as it sounds...too much stimulation leads to pain, not intense pleasure). If there is direct contact with my clitoris, there had better be lots of lube involved (not too much friction), and I can't handle a lot of direct contact. And despite my sensitivity, it still takes 20-30 minutes for me to orgasm (during which there is generally a lot of fantasy going on), unless I'm really aroused before hand...then it's just about 5 minutes. It just goes to show you that everyone is different.

I had the same problem with my ivibe rabbit vibrator which i bought from Adult sex toys

if anyone has any tips for relaxing in bed and not feeling insecure from lack of orgasm it would be much appreciated!

I've had great sex with a man paralyzed from the waist down. A man eager to please with a drawer full of silicone toys is really all you need. I think the real issue is that eagerness to please has been erased by your husband's illness.