His and Her Health

Hello--<P>I'm a new member, and writing about a topic that I can find absolutely no information on--that is, having too much libido. I'm 46 years old, and for the past 15 years have suffered on and off from this. I'm talking about wanting to have sex every other day, or even sometimes every day. I go through periods when it isn't so often (every 4 or 5 days), and I can live with that level of sexual activity. But the uncomfortable drive level always seems to come back sooner or later. <P>I am married but my husband doesn't have as strong a sex drive, but even if he did, I simply don't want to spend that much of my life having sex. Add to that the fact that even though I can have orgasms, they are very rarely easily "resolved" . . . in other words, after one, I feel as though I'm not finished, and sometimes have to have anywhere between 3 and 10. Even then, sometimes within 10 or 12 hours I feel as though I haven't had sex in a week, and have to start over again. <P>One therapist said I was suffering from "compulsive sexual disorder", but I have noticed the disorder is much worse when my thyroid is out of balance. <P>I have a history of childhood sexual abuse, but, I was in therapy for years dealing with that, and never had any problems with sex. The problems only started when my second child was born (at age 30). Which makes me wonder if it's a hormonal thing in addition to maybe having a psychological component?<P>I'd be grateful if anyone could offer some perspective on this.<P>Ruby

Ruby, here's an article from the newshe homepage:<P><A HREF="www.newshe.com/leiblum.shtml" TARGET=_blank>www.newshe.com/leiblum.shtml</A>

See this link.<P>Could this be similar to what you're talking about?<P>"PSAS: A Newly Discovered Pattern of Excessive Female Arousal That Can Continue Unremittingly for Hours, Days, or Weeks"<BR><A HREF="www.newshe.com/leiblum.shtml" TARGET=_blank>www.newshe.com/leiblum.shtml</A><P>Sandra R Leiblum is in NJ at the Robert Wood Johnson School of Medicine.<P>I can likely come up with contact info if you need it.<P>---<P>I do know someone who was put on Testosterone (bio-identical) that already had high levels (normal range) of T. The result was a serious driving urge for sex, that she considered distracting. Stopping the T resolved the problem. (She now says... "If that's what some men feel, I can really understand their stress." LOL)<P>Anyway, obviously you are not on T, so perhaps this doesn't apply to you. I just thought I'd give a couple of options for you to consider. <P>Follow up with some more detail. This doesn't sound to me, like a simple "difference in sex drive" problem.<P>Cheers,<BR>Greg<P>------------------<BR>My profile has my email address and website. Click on the icon at the top of this post that looks like a head with a question mark.<P>Also note, I am *not* a doctor, and this is not intended as medical advice - Please talk to your doctor about your concerns.

I'd be happy if I was having sex three or four times a day. Or more. No history of sexual abuse, I've just manipulated my hormones deliberately through my diet and supplements. I like feeling this way. I've developed the ability to have orgasms just from flexing my PC muscles, so my desire doesn't interfere too much with my life.<P>Still, to each her own. A healthy way to decrease desire is to go on a lowfat vegetarian diet with lots of whole grains. Drink plenty of coffee and/or tea, avoid seafood and avoid chocolate. Get a full dose of calcium each day, either through drinking milk and eating milk products or through calcium pills (avoid calcium pills that also contain magnesium and zinc).<P>Staying on this diet will also slow down your orgasms, so you might need to get a high-powered vibrator like a Hitachi Magic Wand or an Eroscillator.

Sharon3,<P>Thanks for your reply. . .I did read that article when it first appeared and it was helpful to know I'm not the only one! However, I am still not sure about how to deal with these symptoms. Maybe the best thing to do would be try to find a FSD therapist and bring her the article. That might be difficult, as I live in a pretty small town.<P>Thanks again, Ruth

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by distressed_12345:<BR><B>See this link.<P>Could this be similar to what you're talking about?<P>"PSAS: A Newly Discovered Pattern of Excessive Female Arousal That Can Continue Unremittingly for Hours, Days, or Weeks"<BR><A HREF="www.newshe.com/leiblum.shtml" TARGET=_blank>www.newshe.com/leiblum.shtml</A><P>Sandra R Leiblum is in NJ at the Robert Wood Johnson School of Medicine.<P>I can likely come up with contact info if you need it.<P>---<P>I do know someone who was put on Testosterone (bio-identical) that already had high levels (normal range) of T. The result was a serious driving urge for sex, that she considered distracting. Stopping the T resolved the problem. (She now says... "If that's what some men feel, I can really understand their stress." LOL)<P>Anyway, obviously you are not on T, so perhaps this doesn't apply to you. I just thought I'd give a couple of options for you to consider. <P>Follow up with some more detail. This doesn't sound to me, like a simple "difference in sex drive" problem.<P>Cheers,<BR>Greg<P></B></font><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Thanks Greg. . .Yes, that article is exactly about what I've been experiencing.<P> And yes, Testosterone (such as in you find in some birth control pills) is bad news for me, although my blood levels of testosterone are normal when not being supplemented. <P>For me, it's not just a "driving urge for sex" as you describe above, but also pretty significant pelvic pain a lot of the time, since I often have to carry the tension around for at least several hours out of the day when it's hitting me bad. So it is getting to a point of being a torment.<P>Thanks for your remarks, Ruby<BR>

<BR>Hmmm, sounds like you have a better attitude than I do about sex. . .but also it sounds like it's a lot easier for you to deal with your drive! It can take me over an hour and a half to feel "done", so you can probably see how it might be a time management problem for me. . .<P>Anyway, I'll try the diet suggestion. I'm already a vegetarian, although I do at times eat non-factory farmed meat when I can get it. But not a lot. However, I do tend to eat a lot of fats, as I'm a runner and can handle the calories. Mostly the fat is from dairy, avocado, walnuts, coconut, and salad oils. You're right about the chocolate too. . .I had to give it up because of the libido effect.<P>Thanks for this information, I'll give it a try. . .Ruby (aka Ruth) <P>

ruby2shoes<P>If you would like, I can see about getting some contact info for Sandra. You could make contact with her and see if she would be willing to give you a few minutes over the phone to assist you.<P>You might learn a lot. I think it would be worth a try.<P>If you do want contact info, then why don't you email me, or post at the forum at the website listed in my profile. I can't post provider info here - board rules.<P>Cheers,<BR>Greg<P>------------------<BR>My profile has my email address and website. Click on the icon at the top of this post that looks like a head with a question mark.<P>Also note, I am *not* a doctor, and this is not intended as medical advice - Please talk to your doctor about your concerns.

If you are a runner, my diet probably isn't going to help you much. I don't want to tell you to lose muscle mass; muscle mass is healthy but it's probably keeping your testosterone at a good level. Frankly I think your level of desire is perfectly normal, wanting to have sex every day. It seems to me your problem is satisfaction. If you could fully satisfy yourself with only fifteen minutes a day of masturbation, would that be a solution? If so, I have reversed direction on my advice to you. I have four recommendations for you.<P>First of all, I would try at least parts of my orgasmic diet (which I spell out on my website listed in my profile). Keep eating the way you are eating, but try to get more protein in your meals (can be soy or cheese or fish). Start taking fish oil, six grams a day. Avoid all caffeine or other stimulants. If you are on antidepressants, have your doctor switch you to Wellbutrin. And strengthen your PC muscles using vaginal cone weights.<P>Second, as I mentioned before, get a high-powered vibrator. If you can get a few extremely strong clitoral orgasms in less than ten minutes, might make your life easier.<P>Third, if you aren't having vaginal orgasms too, you might want to try for them. My diet will help with this too. Sometimes women can have any number of clitoral orgasms but they feel even less satisfied, because the orgasms just increase their desire for the vaginal orgasm they never have.<P>Fourth, if you already are having vaginal orgasms too but are still feeling unsatisfied, you may want to learn about tantra, at least the part about energy orgasms. I know this sounds quite nutty, but it involves directing your sexual energy up through your torso and then releasing it at various points, say through your heart or up to the top of your head. Gives a different sort of orgasm, and when I have one of these it can hold me for three or four days. I've probably lost what little credibility I have here saying this, I know it sounds off the deep end, but not only is it a very pleasurable experience, but most importantly a very satisfying one.<P>But certainly see an FSD specialist too.<P>Oh, also, you might want to track these episodes and see if they are tied to your menstrual cycle. They most likely are. The two times a month a woman will most feel like this are at ovulation and right before and during the first few days of her period. One way to tell you are ovulating is by the presence of mucus resembling egg white (but don't use this as a form of birth control! ) If these episodes are cyclical like that, you may have relief simply by going on birth control pills.<P>[This message has been edited by zaneblue (edited 13 June 2003).]<p>[This message has been edited by zaneblue (edited 13 June 2003).]

Ruby, click here:<P><A HREF="www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/query.fcgi?c...;dopt=Abstract" TARGET=_blank>www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/query.fcgi?c...;/A><P>Then click on the blue box that says "MJA free text". It's a short article.<P><p>[Note: This message has been edited by NEWSHE Moderator]

"Frankly I think your level of desire is perfectly normal, wanting to have sex every day. It seems to me your problem is satisfaction. If you could fully satisfy yourself with only fifteen minutes a day of masturbation, would that be a solution?"<P>Yes, that wouldn't be a problem for me, you are absolutely right about that.<P>"First of all, I would try at least parts of my orgasmic diet (which I spell out on my website listed in my profile). Keep eating the way you are eating, but try to get more protein in your meals (can be soy or cheese or fish)."<P>Yeah, right now I probably get very little protein.<P>" Start taking fish oil, six grams a day. Avoid all caffeine or other stimulants. If you are on antidepressants, have your doctor switch you to Wellbutrin. "<P>I used to take it, and ended up after a year or so with a bad reaction, so I can't take it now. I'm on Paxil now, 5 milligrams (a small dose), and that actually has helped somewhat. I know it's not supposed to, but I react completely opposite to drugs than other people do. For instance, I had to stop taking Prozac because after a year it increased my libido to where it was unbearable. Before that it had cut my libido. Go figure. <P>" And strengthen your PC muscles using vaginal cone weights."<P>I have a book by Mantak Chia (something like Taoist Sexual Secrets for Women) about that but haven't tried it. . .I should look at the book again.<P>"Second, as I mentioned before, get a high-powered vibrator. If you can get a few extremely strong clitoral orgasms in less than ten minutes, might make your life easier."<P>I have a Hitachi Magic Wand. Even with that it still takes a long time.<P>"Third, if you aren't having vaginal orgasms too, you might want to try for them. My diet will help with this too. Sometimes women can have any number of clitoral orgasms but they feel even less satisfied, because the orgasms just increase their desire for the vaginal orgasm they never have."<P>I've never had any experience with vaginal orgasms and once I read there is no such thing. But I'm willing to check it out. . .I know that a lot of what has been written in the past about female sexuality is not helpful or true. . .<P>"Fourth, if you already are having vaginal orgasms too but are still feeling unsatisfied, you may want to learn about tantra, at least the part about energy orgasms. I know this sounds quite nutty, but it involves directing your sexual energy up through your torso and then releasing it at various points, say through your heart or up to the top of your head. Gives a different sort of orgasm, and when I have one of these it can hold me for three or four days. I've probably lost what little credibility I have here saying this, I know it sounds off the deep end, but not only is it a very pleasurable experience, but most importantly a very satisfying one."<P>No, I don't think it's nutty. I've been a meditator and studied yoga for many years, so this makes sense to me. It sounds a bit advanced, so I think I will try it after all the other suggestions.<P>"Oh, also, you might want to track these episodes and see if they are tied to your menstrual cycle. They most likely are. The two times a month a woman will most feel like this are at ovulation and right before and during the first few days of her period. One way to tell you are ovulating is by the presence of mucus resembling egg white (but don't use this as a form of birth control! ) If these episodes are cyclical like that, you may have relief simply by going on birth control pills."<P>Yes I've tracked that. . .it is worse around the time of my period, you're right, then instead of being bad it's very bad!<P>You've offered a lot of good information and suggestions, thanks very much. I will go to your website and start doing some research on all this stuff.<P>Thanks, Ruby<P><BR>

Sharon3, <P>Thanks for the link. I read it and bookmarked it; it's important for me to get all the information I can about this. . .I'm amazed at how helpful everyone on this page is. It's really wonderful.<P>Thanks again,<BR>Ruby<P>

Vaginal orgasms definitely exist. The Bermans describe them in their book. Diametricallly opposite things happen to the vagina before each type of orgasm, which makes me believe (also from personal experience) that the two types fight each other. Not that you can't have an orgasm from both types of stimulation, but I think the actions to bring on a vaginal orgasm (flexing of the PC muscles) <B> slow down </B> clitoral orgasms (which in the end might make a clitoral orgasm stronger because of the delay). This is complete conjecture on my part, but the more I research it, the more I believe it is true. If your body is trying to have vaginal orgasms, you may be flexing your muscles subconsciously and delaying things. Deliberately try to relax them.<P>On the other hand, I would definitely try for vaginal orgasms too. I go into more detail on my website for tips on how to have them. Makes sex a lot easier.<P>Also you might want to try an Eroscillator; I believe it's even stronger than the Hitachi Magic Wand (although if it's taking that long with the Magic Wand, something definitely is going on--I suspect it's a good thing). You may also want to try having sex right after a long run, when your endorphins are high and circulation is at its best.

Thanks for this further info. . . <P>I have a question for you. . .you wrote "Also you might want to try an Eroscillator; I believe it's even stronger than the Hitachi Magic Wand (although if it's taking that long with the Magic Wand, something definitely is going on--I suspect it's a good thing). "<P>Why do you suspect that's a good thing?(!)<P>Thanks, Ruby

Zaneblue,<P>You have a great website! Lots of really good information on it, plus good links. Thanks for letting me know about it.<P>Ruby