His and Her Health

I am seeking any suggestions that would help me (and my husband) get in the mood for lovemaking. We have been married for 6 years (no kids) and lately we are doing it only to fulfill my husband's needs. I am tired of never being "in the mood" and I know there is nothing wrong with me because a few years ago I mistakenly had an affair with an ex-boyfriend and the sex was wonderful (as it always had been). I guess now that I am married, the thrill of doing it with my husband it gone. I am thinking that this is a normal occurrence in marriage, but I may be wrong. There are methods that I know will arouse me (erotica, alcohol, etc), but my husband does not agree with any of these, so I am at a loss. Please offer any suggestions you may have because I am tired of not enjoying sex! Thanks!

Keep a secret anonymous weblog chronicling your sexual activities with your husband. Describe how pleasurable the sex feels in great detail. Or simply write it in story form; many sites will take completely anonymous story submittals. And don't tell your husband about it. You may consider this immoral, if so, don't do it.<P>Or, if your husband is game, you might want to read up a bit on tantra. Margo Anand's Sexual Ecstasy is pretty good, although a little out there.<P>And there's always fantasy. Read erotica on your own time and then think about it during sex. Or you could sneak damiana (just don't drive after taking it).<P>If you like, you might want to try my diet (I've got a website in my profile spelling it all out). Will make you ready for anything--animal, vegetable or mineral.<P>Or, you could just hold out for really great sex. This may backfire and he may decide he doesn't want to have sex with someone demanding. You may want to counter this tendency by investigating the sort of sex you want and taking control of the situation, making him more passive. There are lots of fun things to do with sex to spice things up--take him there with you.

Hey! What happened to the post about exciting activities and marriage? I wanted to show it to my husband but it's been deleted.

I was wondering about the deleted post too. And I think the candlelit dinner thing might help if he's having problems with desire, but it's the other way around. A woman with no desire for her husband is probably not going to want to do that. OTOH a woman with no desire for her husband is probably not going to want to do my suggestions either, so what do I know?<p>[This message has been edited by zaneblue (edited 24 June 2003).]

Zane, I think, IMO and speaking for myself, a woman with no desire would much rather try your diet than the candlelight route above.<BR>

Message board moderator: Why did you delete a post on couples doing activities together??<BR>Why did you keep a post with an angelfire link?? What's going on?

The post with the angelfire link was also deleted. It mentioned trying to get in the mood by dressing in sexy lingerie and lighting candles, etc.

Zaneblue<P>What is damiana?<P>Thanks

I'm not going to say it's exactly an aphrodisiac, but it is an herb that may help some women get in the mood. It has a relaxing, uninhibiting effect similar to alcohol, without the slowdown in orgasm speed that alcohol brings. You can get it at most drugstores over the counter. I would avoid driving after taking it.