His and Her Health

hi, <BR>i am a 27 year old female. I have been very happily married for the last year and have a great and supportive husband. I am not really sure if I have a PROBLEM per say, but in a way it is making things kind of difficult for me. Lately, I have had an insatiable appetite for sex. I would consider myself bi sexual and my husband and I have agreed a long time ago that we do not belive in sexual monogomy. We did agree however that if we were going to have sexual encounters with others, we had to do it as a couple. We have had one encounter with another couple and last night my husbands best friend came over and after a night of partying, we ended up having a wonderful threesome. After we all "went to sleep" I still felt like I needed more and ended up pleasing myself in front of the friend with the help of a vibrator. This morning when we woke up, I still wanted more! Neither of the guys were giving off any vibes that they wanted more and I felt kinda weird being the one with the biggest sex drive. I feel like lately all of my thoughts are consumed by sex and even moreso, I want to have sex with more than one person at a time. I hope this is not coming off like a porno post. I am sincere in my concern about my crazy libido lately. I feel like I am never totally satisfied. I am worried that i am going to push my very understanding and open husband over the edge. I wonder if perhaps there is something missing in my life that is leading to this, but I can honestly say that i am extremely happy with my life and cant think of anything that I am lacking, except more sex! Is this normal for women my age? Am I a freak? Is it wrong to be having sex with people outside my marriage even if my husband is totally okay with it? I was never sexually promiscious before marriage although I did have a few different partners. I am not on the pill or taking any type of medication. My cycle is fairly regular. Any advice would be greatly appreciated! thanks! <BR>~ph<BR>

Is it something you feel you have control over, or has it resulted in negative consequences but you still feel unable to stop? Some individuals use sex as a replacement for something. As an analogy, it would be similar to someone who uses eating as a comfort or replacement for some perceived emotional need. You said it has started only since you got married, so you should probably do some self-examination to discover why you may be having these feelings and acting out on them, whereas before you didn't.

thanks for the comments... to answer your questions:<BR>I do think I am in control of this but I have been having extremely strong fantasies lately. I have been satisfying them with masturbation or great sex with my husband though. My husband is totally cool with this open relationship and we discuss everything that we want to do. I think that this has begun since getting married because i feel like now I have someone who I am totally emotionally committed to, but feel that sex is not something that has to be limited to one person for the rest of my (or his) life. The truth is, most people feel this way but few admit it and end up just cheating on their spouse in secret instead. We have admited to one another that we may be sexually interested in some other people throughout our lives, but we also know that we are completely, 100% emotionally committed to being each others life partner. We have certain rules between us, like we must both always be aware of any situation and involved in any way we want to be. This way, the outside people are just sort of our fantasy play toys for that moment. We are 100% clear about that with the people we do it with and generally, we serve the same purpose for them. The thing I am mostly concerned with is that my appetite is stronger than its ever been before and almost to the point of all consuming at times. Am I just at a sexual peak in my life or is there something wrong somewhere?<P>*MODERATOR'S NOTE<BR>There are articles on the <A HREF="WWW.NEWSHE.COM" TARGET=_blank>WWW.NEWSHE.COM</A> website that may be of help to you.<p>[Note: This message has been edited by NEWSHE Moderator]

ALL marriages start out with rules each spouse agrees to, implicitly and explicitly. But the fact is most marriages end in divorce. If I may be honest, I think you're lowering your chances of success, but that's just my opinion of course and you can take it for what it's worth. I have a hard time believing your husband's best friend can be a plaything for the both of you one night and turn back into his best friend the next day. I'm all for different lifestyles, but I just thought I'd offer my opinion of what you're describing. On a another note, when something is "all consuming" it sounds more like a compulsion. You may be conflicted with the lifetime emotional commitment to your husband, his desire to have sex with others, your desire to have sex with others, and this is your "coping mechanism", if you will. If you and your husband are able to manage your open marriage, I would be very impressed. It does seem on the surface as the best of all worlds, but in practice it can be very difficult to handle emotionally. Just my two cents.

My two cents on this--I enjoy feeling this way, and I follow a particular diet and do exercises to promote it. However, one of the consequences is just what you describe. I can have sex, even great sex with lots of orgasms, and I'm as ready to go as when I started. A woman in this mode can outlast any number of men. Of course the temptation is to find any number of men, but it's just laughably pointless and kind of a pain. And feelings will get involved. Better to just augment the great sex you are having with an arsenal of sex toys--a plug-in-the-wall vibrator is a good start, and a silicone dildo could come in handy too. I'm partial to ben wa balls too for daylong stimulation, so you can have a life too. But the thing that I've found that holds me isn't multiple partners or even lots of sex. It's tantra--I've learned how to channel my sexual energy up my chakras for a different sort of orgasm, one that can hold me for a few days. They really do feel tremendous, and tantra makes for wonderful sex. It is rather monogamous, but if your husband is open to it too both of you may take sex to a new level.<P>That's not to say there may be relationship issues and psychological issues too, but I don't know much about that. Although one thing I do know, easier to have threesomes with strangers. To much strain for a friendship in my opinion.