His and Her Health

what would you say to a 20 year old woman who has no history of sexual abuse, is on no medication at all including pills treating depression (which i know contribute to FSD), who does NOT have a bad body image or uptight upbringing, but who cannot have an orgasm or experience any sensations that seem to be building up to an orgasm. it's not like i feel pre-orgasmic or sexually good really, it's just nothing.<BR>i've received oral sex many times, basically all sexual things excluding penetration (never successful, 'cause of the lack of physical changes/lubrication/enlargement that would allow for penetration). my clitoris is numb- basically the entire vulva area might just as well be a hand, for the sensations it experiences. it isn't about a lack of comfort or attraction- i have a boyfriend who i love a LOT and who is amazing to me. <BR>i have used vibrators. they do nothing.<BR>i got blood work done- everything "normal" though the doctor didn't seem to know what the hell she was doing and was really uncomfortable with me. i'm currently pursuing some medical help (thanks to the leads from people on this board).<P>but more than wanting answers, i'm just curious. does this HAPPEN? a complete lack of physical response?

I thought I was the only one in the world that feels that way during sex. I know how you feel. I'm the same (also 20yrs old). My body doesn't feel pain or pleasure when it comes to sex. Though I've only had sex 3 times with my boyfriend (who means the world to me)each time I was hoping for a good feeling. But, got nothing. Even when it comes to breast play I still feel pretty much nothing. It's really weird. I wish I could help you but I'm in the same boat.

I have the same problem, only I'm 28 years old and have been sexually active for quite awhile (ummm...10+ partners). No history of sexual abuse or trauma to the genital area.<P>I think it may be a blood flow problem - I call it the female equivalent of impotence. The only way I get any feeling whatsoever is a lot of friction. Oral sex is pretty much useless (it is good for lubrication purposes though).<P>You might want to try Viagra. I tried it once and definitely felt a difference - the only problem was that I was with a guy I was not attracted to. As for your lack of lubrication, there are plenty of lubricants out there to use. I'm a simple girl and I like KY, but there a lot of other brands out there as well.<P>I'm in the market for a new gyno - once I find one and feel comfortable enough with her, I'm going to try and get some answers. I had a bad experience with a medical "professional" in this regard and tried to go my own route in determining what was wrong. I'm ready to question again.

but how is it possible to get viagra and not spend tons of money for it? i mean, a general practitioner would never give that to a young woman, would s/he? what about a gyno?

Yohimbe works a lot like Viagra and it's over-the-counter, but there are many side effects. I will bump up a similar thread dealing with this.<P>In my opinion the best way to increase bloodflow to the area is to exercise the PC muscles with vaginal cone weights and to take high-dose fish oil (six grams a day).<P>In the absence of trauma or surgery or some other potential source of nerve damage, I believe that serotonin and dopamine levels in the brain greatly influence how much women feel connected up with their bodies. Caffeine, nicotine, high-carbohydrate (and low-protein, low-fat) meals, and of course antidepressants will all raise serotonin without raising dopamine. These things all adversely affect a woman's sexuality. High-dose fish oil will help with dopamine levels, along with good dark chocolate.

Actually, many physicians will perscribe Viagra for a young woman. It's called using it "off label," and you'll likely have to ask directly for it.

Great idea Dona about the off-label. I'll have to try it! Barring that however, you can always ask your boyfriend to get a prescription. He may not be altogether comfortable with it, but just remind him that it could really spice things up for you two!<P>I understand how frustrating this is. I've been dealing with it a long time. But take heart - women's sexual health has come a long in just the ten years that I've been sexually active. The focus isn't all on the guys anymore!

I have been sexually abused, and the result is opposite on me. I am highly sensitive to anything touching that area of my body. I am definately not saying that this is the way to go, but the steriotype that abuse to the nerves reduces stimulation was opposite for me. <P>------------------<BR>Pregnancy- No Place For Wimps!

Sexual abuse does not generally cause actual physical trauma to the genital area (although it creates a host of other problems). The trauma I mentioned is caused by surgeries, female circumcision, STDs, and other issues.<P>Has anyone found a way to deal with this "no feeling" issue? What have you done about it?

I'm 41 years old, and I too feel "nothing" before, during, or after sex. In my teens, I contracted an STD, but was treated for it. I had my first child at 18, and another at 21. Now that I'm older and have had a hysterectomy 8 years ago, I almost feel that it's "too much, too little, too late" to do anything about it now. Whatever you do, don't let this go on like I did. I ignored the issue for so long and wallowed in self-pity, when I should have had this checked out more thoroughly in my youth. Now I am a mental wreck internally about this issue. Don't make that mistake.

I agree, but it's still never too late.