His and Her Health

i've been committed to my mate throughout relationship i do pratice masturbating on the regular basis. we normally have sex 2 times a week and my vagina muscles are normally tight we took a 3week break - no sex, and when we engaged in sexual intercourse my muscles was loose ( i just had an orgasm with my toy b4 he came) please help i have not cheated but he thks i have. How do i explain? <P>[This message has been edited by ms_intrigued (edited 02 October 2003).]<p>[This message has been edited by ms_intrigued (edited 02 October 2003).]

Your significant other simply needs some sex education. A woman's vaginal muscles don't get tighter if she's not had sex for 3 weeks, nor do they get looser if she's cheated. That is just silly. Vaginal "tightness" is based on how in-shape your muscles are and how aroused/wet you are. It can also be affected by vaginal child birth or severe sexual trauma (please note I am leaving out FSD here because this isn't a problem for this poster). If you'd masturbated to orgasm you were probably wetter than he's used to if he doesn't make you orgasm before penetration, and so your boyfriend might not feel as much friction. Or, if he's used to penetrating you when you're not totally and fully aroused, you may seem "tighter." What that really means is your body isn't fully prepared for intercourse. Women's vaginal "tightness" can also be affected by things like position and time of month.<P>It sounds like the two of you could really use some good, solid sexual education, as well as some relationship work. If that is all it took for him to be convinced you "cheated" on him, there isn't a lot of trust in the relationship. Pile that on top of sexual ignorance of each other's sexual function and you're asking for trouble. I'd recomend getting a good book, such as For Women Only, that goes into the anatomical specifics of a woman's body, and what happens as she becoms aroused. I'd also consider working on the trust issues that at least he seems to have.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by dona1:<BR><B>Your significant other simply needs some sex education. A woman's vaginal muscles don't get tighter if she's not had sex for 3 weeks, nor do they get looser if she's cheated. That is just silly. Vaginal "tightness" is based on how in-shape your muscles are and how aroused/wet you are. It can also be affected by vaginal child birth or severe sexual trauma (please note I am leaving out FSD here because this isn't a problem for this poster). If you'd masturbated to orgasm you were probably wetter than he's used to if he doesn't make you orgasm before penetration, and so your boyfriend might not feel as much friction. Or, if he's used to penetrating you when you're not totally and fully aroused, you may seem "tighter." What that really means is your body isn't fully prepared for intercourse. Women's vaginal "tightness" can also be affected by things like position and time of month.<P>It sounds like the two of you could really use some good, solid sexual education, as well as some relationship work. If that is all it took for him to be convinced you "cheated" on him, there isn't a lot of trust in the relationship. Pile that on top of sexual ignorance of each other's sexual function and you're asking for trouble. I'd recomend getting a good book, such as For Women Only, that goes into the anatomical specifics of a woman's body, and what happens as she becoms aroused. I'd also consider working on the trust issues that at least he seems to have.</B></font><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><BR>I want to thank you for ur response i know it couldnt only be caused by cheating cuz i have not but it has really been stressing me out we do have trust issues but i didnt want this to be another issue for us ty again <P>

Also, not sure what sort of toy you were using, but if it's a dildo and it's a lot thicker than your partner, that may also cause a difference in his sensation (at least temporarily).<P>If you are really concerned about this sort of thing, you can get a toy that's his same size or smaller and then it won't be an issue. e-mail me and I can give you a link for a great woman-run site that sells very nice silicone toys in every conceivable length and thickness.<P>Or you could not be concerned about this, if you are particularly attached to your toy. <P>If he really is upset, show him your toy. He might get a little intimidated, but better that than thinking you're cheating.<P>*clunking head on desk* I am not going to feel depressed that I know the best websites for sex toys. Oy.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by zaneblue:<BR><B>Also, not sure what sort of toy you were using, but if it's a dildo and it's a lot thicker than your partner, that may also cause a difference in his sensation (at least temporarily).<P>If you are really concerned about this sort of thing, you can get a toy that's his same size or smaller and then it won't be an issue. e-mail me and I can give you a link for a great woman-run site that sells very nice silicone toys in every conceivable length and thickness.<P>Or you could not be concerned about this, if you are particularly attached to your toy. <P>If he really is upset, show him your toy. He might get a little intimidated, but better that than thinking you're cheating.<P>*clunking head on desk* I am not going to feel depressed that I know the best websites for sex toys. Oy.</B></font><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I ty you as well but the thing is that if it was my dildo i would understand or simply tell him he knows i use toys it was a pocket rocket and with that there is no insertion<P>