His and Her Health

If I'm going to post here, I guess I should tell you something about myself. I have vaginismus, and have been doing the standard physical therapy for it. For those of you who don't have it, try to imagine a cramp like happens sometimes in your calf muscle, except in your vagina muscles. And I'd like to add, you haven't lived until you've had to ice down your crotch! yikes. Actually, I don't use ice. I use one of those eye pillows filled with flax seeds that I keep in the freezer.<P>My other problem is something I think of as my "Rolling Stones" problem, because I try, and I try, and I try , and I try, but I can't get no satisfaction. ha ha!<BR>I can have orgasms until I'm bored, tired, stiff, and sore, and still can rarely get more than 95% of the way to satisfaction: that place of release, muscle relaxation, sleepiness, contentment, and afterglow. <BR>The few times I've gotten there, I always think "So this is why sex is so popular!" If I could feel like that every time, it would have a big effect on my desire. But instead, I usually have to walk around for a day afterwards with uterus cramps and soggy underwear. Sigh. It's painful and frustrating.<P>But the cause of that latter problem could be my chronic illness, which messes with my hormones, nervous system, stamina, and muscle strength. Or it could be my technique (I'm just making love to myself at this point). Or maybe my mind isn't relaxed enough. Who knows.<P>But anyway, I want to say thanks to Pinky and Greg for mentioning the vaginismus support group at Yahoo. And thank you to LaurieSip for recommending the "Sex as Naure Intended It" book. And I was tickled to see that I am already following your orgasmic diet, Zaneblue, except for the amount of chocolate and the internal weight-lifting. The weights are going to have to wait until I get my vagina healed. But thank you for the diet.<P>I decided to call myself Mercy, because if there's one thing people with sexual dysfunctions need, it's mercy. It's nice to chat with you all.<BR>

I'm honored and bashfully proud that something I posted was helpful.<P>I'll have to check out the book you reference. Perhaps I'll add it to my "stash" of recommends. Thanks for mentioning it - I missed it the first time I guess.<P>Mercy and/or grace, goodwill, and hope! You've said it well. I wish you the best. <P>If there's anything else we can do to help, please let us know.<P>Thanks,<BR>Greg<P>------------------<BR>See the icons at the top of this post for my profile and more information.<BR>Also note, I am *not* a doctor, and this is not intended as medical advice - Please talk to your doctor about your concerns.

Thanks for posting.<BR>Doesn't life get interesting at times (growl- scowl-expletive...!!!)?

A couple things. First, I'd like to ask you if you are following my diet in all particulars? The extremely high doses of fish oil, especially, are rather unusual. It surprises me that you were taking that and the other supplements already independently.<P>But it doesn't sound like your basic ability to have an orgasm is the problem anyway. I don't know enough about vaginismus to help with that. Your other issue I might be able to help with. My diet helps with libido and the ability to simply have an orgasm, especially the vaginal kind. Obviously your muscle tone is good, so that's not the problem. I would try four things: first, get a strong vibrator. Maybe your orgasms just need a little extra oomph. Second, try peaking, letting yourself get close, and then letting things cool down and bringing it back up again. Do this five or six times before letting yourself orgasm, it may help. Third, maybe your body is wanting a different sort of orgasm, and that's why you aren't feeling fully satisfied. Try having both clitoral and g-spot orgasms during the same session. There were some threads here a while back on female ejaculation; that also may be an issue. Finally, I can't recommend tantra enough for achieving full-body satisfying orgasms. Margo Anand has some good books on it.

Oops, you're right, zaneblue, I checked and I'm only taking 1.2 g of fish oil. The other supplements you suggest are only part of the things I take for my chronic illness. Better health through supplements is my lifestyle!<P>Thank you for all the helpful suggestions about my satisfaction problem. You would think that a person who walks around all the time with her vaginal muscles clamped tightly together would have strong muscles, but my physical therapist tells me that vaginismus actually is associated with having very weak muscles. I do have a Hitachi Magic Wand, and it's plenty powerful. I have to use a towel with it or I fry my nerve endings. I will try the peaking. I do always have both kinds of orgasms in a session. But I am kind of new at doing the g-spot kind, since I've only been able to get in there in the last year or so. The female ejaculation sounds hilarious. I've read that anyone can learn it, so maybe I'll try that some day. I've just started looking into the tantric stuff, and it looks very promising, especially because of its emphasis on relaxation. I'll be sure to check out the author you recommend.<P>Thanks again for helping me think about these things.

I am willing to bet money I know what's happening. You've only had the g-spot orgasmic ability for a year. Let me guess, you've been taking your program of supplements for a year or two. If I'm wrong about this, call me an overbearing pompous know-it-all (and Lord knows I deserve it). If I'm right, check with your doctor and then just for one month take six grams of fish oil a day. Halfway through the month, start trying for ejaculation. <P>Basically my theory is that women whose bodies are gearing up for ejaculation go through some of the same issues that guys go through entering puberty, right before they first start ejaculating. Only problem is that in women it's so rare it's considered abnormal. I think you triggered your body to go through this process by taking the supplements, and now you are stuck halfway there.<P>Only thing I have a question about, and maybe pinky can answer this, I thought vaginismus sufferers had very strong PC muscles? Ejaculation ability is very dependent on PC muscle tone.<p>[This message has been edited by zaneblue (edited 01 November 2003).]

Well, I'm no physical therapist but I was under the impression that women with vaginismus (or, at least, with my variety of vaginismus where I spend the day clenching and releasing, clenching and releasing, in a sort of day-long kegeling exercise) had very strong vaginal muscles. <P>But I am reluctant to argue with the physical therapist mentioned in a separate thread!

Hmmm. Interesting food for thought, zaneblue. <P>Well, let's see. I believe I have always had the ability to have g-spot orgasms. It's just that only recently have I been able to insert something to rub that spot. I have been taking supplements for 13+ years, although the exact things I take have varied over time. <P>What sorts of issues do guys go through entering puberty? Persistant arousal? For that matter, do gals go through that when entering puberty? Or when first becoming sexually active? There is a sense in which I feel a bit like a teenager who is waking up sexually. But I think it may be because I am starting to get better from an FSD that I've had my whole life. <P>Another thing I am wondering about is, do you have to worry about the level of mercury in your body when you take large quantities of fish oil? <P>Yow, pinky, doing kegel exercises all day long! No wonder your muscles are so strong. I can only do a few of them.

The "kegeling" is, alas, involuntary. A bad habit. Like nail-biting. Must stoppit!<P>Interesting perspectives you have there, Mercy.<BR>Keep talking! I'm listening.<BR>

Okay, I've been reading more about female ejaculation. I did not realize that it was something common and normal and served a function: providing release. I thought it was like a parlor trick done solely for entertainment value.<P>I found this about the subject in my favorite book: "Some women actually have unidentifiable grieving feelings when they are able to easily climax, and know that something is not quite releasing as it could, but don't know what that is. They feel the pressure, but can't release it or move it." That does sound like me.<P>So if this is what my body wants to do, I guess I know what to do. Eat more Omega-3 essential fatty acids and work on that muscle tone.<P>I bought some chia seeds (which are used to make Chia pets also) and they are supposed to be a great source of Omega-3s. I think I need to experiment with my diet a little and see what works for me. And do some research into my mercury question. <P>Thanks, zaneblue. And I wish you success in dealing with your challenge, pinky. How to stop doing something that's involuntary is a big challenge!

Believe me, it's very much worth the effort to experience it, if that's what your body's trying to do. Although mercury is filtered out of over-the-counter fish oil (fish oil is safer than fish to consume), if you are concerned about mercury you can get pharmaceutical-grade fish oil online from a couple places. That stuff goes through an extremely rigorous filtering process (and is also easier on the tummy). Easiest way to get muscle tone is to use vaginal cone weights.<P>Oh, also, you would have to take so much of vegetable sources of omega-3's to get the amounts I'm recommending that it would be ridiculous. Strict vegetarians can take a product called Neuromins, made from the algae fish eat, not as concentrated as fish oil but more concentrated than flaxseed or whatever. Even cod liver oil isn't concentrated enough.<p>[This message has been edited by zaneblue (edited 05 November 2003).]