His and Her Health

I need some advice stat. My husband and I have a great marriage that has lasted 10 years - filled with laughs, love, two great kids, and when we have it - good sex. Our biggest problem is that I don't have the libido he has. I never really think about sex. I never want to initiate sex. When we have it, it is good but I need him to stimulate me to get me into it. That's not acceptable to him. My not wanting sex (for whatever the reason) feels like I don't desire him and that has hurt him. It's likely that I have a very high estrogen level. Much of my life, I have had an abnormally evelvated prolactin level (the hormone that makes you lactate when your body thinks you are pregnant.) on and off. So, this problem may simply be chemical for me. My husband, in addition to being incredibly sexual, is a doctor. So, he thinks I have a medical issue that calls for a medical solution. We have dealt with this since the birth of our 6 year old son and are just now beyond pointing fingers. <BR>I have to get my libido up. What kind of medicines are available (AndroGel? Amlivil?) What type of doctor is experienced with prescribing these meds? Thanks for any help!

I believe what is needed is some education on his part of how women desire and how they respond to sexual arousal. Desire often comes AFTER arousal, such as you describe with yourself. He should not be making you feel inadequate in any way. It will only make you feel bad about yourself, and even less responsive to his sexual advances. For your part, you need to make a concerted effort to feel like a sexual being in your own right, without your husband having to "coerce" you to have sex. Do whatever you need to do to put yourself in that mindset BEFORE you enter the bedroom. It is different for every person, but may include a warm bath, exercising more, dressing differently throughout the day (not just when your husband is around). It's very difficult to switch from mother role to wife role. We have to recognize this and consciously do things for ourselves that make us feel like sexual beings. Don't look at it as something you're doing for him, but something you are doing for yourself. You will feel so much better about yourself, and the effects will rub off onto your husband. ) <p>[This message has been edited by Owner (edited 15 November 2003).]

You may want to try my diet listed in other posts. Even when I was lactating (although not much at that point) when I had bloodwork done my free T, etc. were excellent. Avlimil does seem to affect hormone levels too, although I haven't heard any really convincing evidence. Some anecdotal evidence on another board, but hard to say who posted it.<P>You may also want to try T treatment, as you said. That does help some women.