His and Her Health

After 41 years, I have finally achieved an orgasm through stimulation from a clitoral stimulator. The first time was great! Now there's a problem. I can't seem to achieve an orgasm anymore! I lay there and try to relax, and have very little sensation down there, even after using sexual stimulation creme or gel. After about 30 minutes, my clitoral area is literally numb! This is very frustrating. I've tried several methods and vibrators, and no luck. What am I doing wrong? I touch the surrounding area lightly with very little pressure, but still no sensation. I then increase the pressure, but nothing helps. Please help.

Well, from just a practical point of view, there are vibrators and there are vibrators. I highly recommend the Eroscillator, even though it's kind of expensive. A Hitachi Magic Wand is nice too, although not quite as effective. Using these vibrators will not get you closer to being able to have an orgasm during sex without one. On the other hand, you should be able to have orgasms with them, and that's a good thing in my book.<P>As for getting yourself more sensitive, you may want to try the vaginal cone weights. They will increase bloodflow to the area. There is also the medical approach, or going on my diet. Both of these things may also help with desire, and I still think that's the primary issue in your situation. If you are not aroused when you begin stimulating yourself, and if you are not thinking sexual thoughts, even a woman with perfect function is going to take longer. You are right about the importance of relaxation. Also give your body a few days to recuperate and build up steam between orgasms.<P>In my case, I do have a high level of desire, and using a strong vibrator I can have two or three clitoral orgasms every day, sometimes more. But when I go off of using the really strong vibrator and just use my hand, I can only have one at a time, it takes me fifteen minutes instead of five, and I can only have two or three a week. I also have to concentrate more. (That's why I like having vaginal orgasms--a lot less work, you can have a lot more, and no slowdown). <P>Don't just keep the vibrator on your clitoris, it will get numb. That happens to everybody. If nothing has happened after ten minutes, I'd quit for a while. Sometimes it's enough to try, let things quiet down, and then try again later. The initial stimulation can arouse you and get you to thinking arousing thoughts, so when you try again you have more success. You may want to read erotic stories or watch erotic movies like the Red Shoe Diaries. I hope this helps.<P>Oh, and congratulations on having your first orgasm!<p>[This message has been edited by zaneblue (edited 01 December 2003).]