His and Her Health

What do you think and feel about this subject?<BR>Is it ok?

Sexual surrogates for therapy purposes are often very useful. For people with serious disabilities who have to learn special techniques and "work arounds" they are often invaluable. This is also true for people that have experienced a trauma that has left them newly-handicapped and needing to readjust what sex means to them and how it can be handled (and also when it may involve use of special apperatus). In some cases of sexual emotional trauma, they can also be very helpful.<P>If done legitimately, a surrogate is a non-demand partner, trained to help someone adjust to sexual contact in these types of contexts. They are there to guide, aid, and teach a person specific things. It may be how to best handle a certain apparatus (including how not to accidentally hurt a partner), how to enjoy a very new and different kind of intimacy (sometimes vastly different, in the case of serious injury), and/or how to trust. They also help instill some confidence, which can be an amazing boon to someone with a handicap that is going to make sex (an already very personal and exposing act) potentially even more difficult. For someone who's been traumatized, surrogacy can be a safe and effective, controlled way to help them reestablish their own boundaries and learn to enjoy non-threatening touch. <P>Sexual surrogacy overseen by a licensed psychologist with a high degree of specialty in sexuality can help with many things, and I definitely advocate the practice. That said, it's not the cure-all, and should be used with care. Most professionals will not use surrogacy for things like orgasmic, arousal, or ejaculation disorders unless the situation is very unusual or extreme, especially if there is already a partner. This is the same with trauma. In these cases, it's often expected that a partner will participate in the therapy, and sexual surrogates can cause issues in a partnership. In some cases, surrogacy will be considered when there is no partner present, but often it's not a good indicator of how things are progressing because the person in therapy may not be physically or emotionally attracted to the surrogate. This is fine in the case of someone who has a disability and is simply learning "how-to's," but isn't helpful in determining if a woman, say, is becoming orgasmic. Many women wouldn't respond to that situation even if she were already orgasmic (even when I was at my peak of multi-orgasmic ability with a huge libido, I'd have had serious issues in a situation like that).<P>So, in short, I believe that sexual surrogacy can be very helpful in the appropriate setting and with careful monitoring.<P>As a side note: certified therapists using sexual surrogates can be VERY expensive, and this isn't a treatment most insurances cover. In this area, it starts at $250/hour.<p>[This message has been edited by dona1 (edited 19 December 2003).]

dona1 thanks for your reply!<P>------------------<BR>