His and Her Health

This is my first time posting on this site. I am a 30 year-old woman, had a good amount of sexual experience and exploration during H.S. and college (up to and including mutual oral sex) but my husband of 9 years is the only man I've actually had penetration with. <P>Here's my issue. I can't have a vaginal orgasm. Clitoral? No problem. Manual and oral may take 10-15 mins, but is relatively easily achieved. Vibrator? 2-3 minutes easy. But I have never had a vaginal orgasm, not even close. Can't even imagine how that would happen up in there. <P>My husband has a huge sex drive. Which I enjoy. We usually have sex every day. Sometimes have sex 2-3 times a day, sometimes twice in a row, sometimes for 30-40 mins, sometimes only 5 mins. Regardless, I can't have an orgasm during sex, even if we do oral first. Which upsets my husband - he wants me to have vaginal orgasms. He doesn't mind the vibrator, but I know that it makes him feel less capable and manly that he can't help me have one during sex. <P>I like having sex, I look forward to the intimacy and closeness, but vaginal sex and orgasms are totally separate in my mind. I usually don't have a problem with dryness either. And no pain unless it's a weird angle or something. <P>Is my problem is that I have no frame of reference? In other words, because he is my "first", I can't tell whether one or both of us is doing something "wrong", or if it's physiological. I don't think it's psychological - I never had any sexual abuse and my family was pretty open about talking about sexuality in a positive light.<P>I live in LA - should I go see the Bermans? Does this sound physiological? Or do I just have to live with the fact that I can't have vaginal orgasms. I feel like I'm searching for the Holy Grail.

First of all you do not have female sexual dysfunction. Most women don't have vaginal orgasms.<P>You don't need to see a doctor or anything, you are perfectly normal. With that said, I strongly believe you can train your body to have vaginal orgasms.<P>See the recent thread "for zane blue." It has my diet, which I'm pretty sure will help women have vaginal orgasms. If nothing else, exercise your PC muscles with weights or a Kegelcisor. That alone may do the trick, getting strong muscle tone.<P>Oh, and does your husband have an available brother? <p>[This message has been edited by zaneblue (edited 21 December 2003).]