His and Her Health

From reading most of the other postings I really get a sense of the grass is always greener on the other side. What is new for me, 8 years past a hysterectomy and a year from 50 is an increased sex drive. Frustration level to the point I am crying. Problem is I am divorced and do not have a permanent partner. I don't take any medications herbal or otherwise, however, I am a big believer in exercise. <BR>Sometimes I feel like I am a total genetic freak. I find this is interferring in my finding a partner, as hard as that is to believe. But all of the men I have met, my age, are not able to keep up with me in day to day activities let alone with sex. I have a much larger sex drive than I did in my 30's and I was not expecting this. I feel short changed in that no one warned me. How many other women are experiencing this? It would probably not be a bad thing if it was expected. If I had any idea it was even possible.

Hello and welcome. Right up front, I have no advice for you... I just hate to see an unanswered post sometimes. I'm sure this is not what you wanted to hear, but you can consider yourself lucky in that you sound like a much healthier 49 than my own 36. You will likely outlive couch potatoes like myself. 99% of the posters on these boards are suffering from lack of drive rather than excess, so we're not brimming with suggestions for you. If you are actually trying to reduce your libido, you might try posting on the Womens Sexual Health board here. I think Dona and Zaneblue might know of something to help. However, I hope you can find an outlet for your sexual energy instead. As someone with very little of it myself, it seems like a precious commodity to waste. Do you have any interest in finding a younger man? I can understand wanting to be with someone who shares your life experience, but you don't need a 20-year-old to find a man who wants sex. Maybe you could get out there and find a vital 30 to 40 year old fella who's not interested in raising kids. It's a daunting task I'm sure, but I definitely wish you luck however you want to handle this. <P>All the best to you.

A high sex drive is truly not a bad thing. It matters chiefly in how you deal with it. It's a wonderful experience when you have a high sex drive and you have a compatible partner. It is important to try to transform your sexual energy into constructive avenues. When you find a partner, talk openly with this person about your sexual feelings. There are men with high sex drives out there. Perhaps, you might look for a younger partner. Many women I know find this works very nicely for them. If you want to search around for a partner, perhaps(with caution) a dating service would be a great start. One thing that is also very important is to find a satisfying relationship. A satisfying, trusting relationship often enhances sexual desires and satisfaction. I do not know what happened during your divorce, but you may now feel a lot freer and happier than before and you may desire sex more because the divorce is over. Don't feel bad or guilty about a strong desire for sex. It does happen to everyone, at one point in each of our lives. Also, masturbation is a healthy release of sexual energy. <BR><p>[Note: This message has been edited by NEWSHE Moderator]

At 40 my sex drive is not what it used to be but its much stronger than my husband who is 51. Its really frustrating because he used to be so on fire. He has really slowed down the last 4 years. I have even lost interest in seducing him because its not the same when the passion is one sided. I guess its time to master the art of masturbation although its not the same as being with a person. Good luck and hope things get better for you.