His and Her Health

Hi everyone - I'm the new kid on the block. What can I say - I'm 58 and in a menopause puddle. The puddle keeps getting deeper and I can't find my way out. I have been on estrogen for about one year(hysterectomy in 1981 - only have ovaries). I was on 1.0 estraderm until April 8 when I had a major GI bleed after a colonoscopy. The funny thing is I lost 11 pounds while off the estraderm while in the hospital and during recuperation. I went back on the 1.0 Estraderm and immediately (3 weeks time) gained the 11 pounds back. I went to my doctor two weeks ago and asked that my estraderm be cut to .5 thinking a lower dose may allow me to control my weight.He put me on Vivelle Dot .5. I haven't seen any results yet, but now am trying to conquer a new fear. I had cramping in the lower abdomen last weekend. Along with that I had my usual diarrhea/constipation, gas, bloating, fatigue, headache, lower back pain, etc. etc. My doctor sent me yesterday for an ultrasound to rule out ovarian cancer. Seems the symptoms are the same as for menopause - except the cramping - never had that before. I truly feel this is just a fluke, and ovarian cancer is out of the question. But how many women are ignoring these symptoms and find out too late they have ovarian cancer? Any ideas on this? I will get my results on the ultrasound Monday. In the meantime, menopause has hit me full force right where it hurts - in my life.

<small>[ 09-29-2005, 01:33 PM: Message edited by: Moderator ]</small>

Annie

Been there, still there....will it ever end? One sad thing is that our doctors are still so ignorant about menopause. My doctor in Boston was so with it and knew me 18 years yet when I said I was going through it and wanted a FSH test he told me it was the death of my two parents and my partial hystectomy all in less than 11 months. HELLO!!!!! Anyway, he did the test then called and apologized and put me on Premarin. All I will say is I don't feel it is worth taking especially after reading what they use to make it.

I almost lost my job back when I first went on the stuff. My symptoms made me cry most of the time for one thing. I got married 3 years ago and now have lost my marriage and my job in January with the state. I was on Paxil CR which is incredible with helping most of the symptoms but by noon I was nuts again crying and irrational and hysterical and worried and anxious all of the time. Now after being on the redhotmamas page I find all is normal with menopause. I was doing evening primrose capsules and black cohosh for awhile along with some flax seed (don't take too much fyi) and soy. I make a soy milk smoothie of my own makings with half a banana and some reduced fat peanut butter. mmmmmmmm really it is quite good.

My husband divorced me behind my back and now I have decided to go off my anti depressants which may be a mistake but I need to try. Paxil CR was pulled off the market in May due to the fact they discovered it was not time releasing as it should have but dumping then wearing off. Thus my noontime distress, exhaustion, tears etc. Now they tell me. Mid January I was let go.....told my position was no longer needed but I know it was my insanity at the time and tears. I had no reasons for them that I knew of until too late.

Well today is day 3 of no meds and I have to go get more evening primrose etc. as I had to get rid of it when I was on antidepressants. My new doc says they don't mix. He is pretty good about knowing natural stuff unlike most who won't ever discuss them.

I also have the ahem....bathroom issue. Not all of the time but if I get stressed....no warning no nothing.....out it comes. When my husband and I argued it happened. I cried more because I was so upset over it. Now this too I am reading is part of menopause though usually from lifting etc. I guess.

As far as weight.....I lost 34 lbs last year.....now it is all back plus. Another reason to cry. I try so hard and a month at weight watchers being so good.....a quarter of a lb is all I lost. One of the reasons I am going off my meds. I am told it really causes weight gain especially when you are post menopausal.

All of the other symptons you mentioned.....me too. I just mentioned recently I needed Beano which was never an issue with me. My back I blamed on being hit by an 18 wheeler last year when I stopped at a red light. Headache...same thing plus pilot husband I worried about cheating on me constantly. Another menopause issue? Anxiety I mean? Maybe yes maybe no but I know I was out of control. The other bathroom issues also alternate on me.

I hope you checked out the red hot mamas because they will show you it is not all in your head and there is not anything else wrong with you. Why won't most doctors tell you the normal symptoms? It would have helped so much.

Well right now I am about to cry again. It comes and goes and no rhyme or reason. Hopefully I can get back on the natural items and feel better again. One thing the antidepressants did not do was make me a positive person as I always was. I want to clear my body of all the junk they put in me the last few years. Maybe I AM nuts but I want to find out.

Anyway, YOU are far from alone hon.....you also helped me reading that you too have the symptoms I have been having. It has to stop doesn't it?

Hugs and best wishes

PS don't forget short term memory loss and fuzzy thinking when you need lots of sticky post its around then they all stick together. I've forgotten my address, my phone number and called my cat by my Daughter's name at times. Yet I came describe room by room my home I grew up in.....go figure!!!!

Oh Dawn, am I ever glad you responded. I think you needed to get it out on paper. Now throw the paper away or put a match to it. It sounds to me like you are SOOO much better off without hubby. I am fortunate to have a sweetheart of a husband - but it was only after two tries that I found him. I still wonder from day to day when he is going to walk through the door and say "You know life is too short for me to have to go through menopause too!" I don't think he ever will - but you still wonder.
I haven't received the results from the ultrasound yet, but am believing down deep in the gut that is giving me so much trouble, that I am okay as far as ovarian cancer.
I am currently studying medical transcription from one of the top MT schools in the country, but it is sooo difficult and requires a clear mind and the ability to figure out what these doctors are dictating. HELLO!!! Clear thinking? Is that something I should be searching for?
I couldn't help but notice your onscreen name - MustangDawn - do you have a horse? I have a geriatric quarter horse who is also going through menopause. She's so funny - when I'm a total basket case, she is too. We walk around in circles in the pasture and talk. But it is almost like when she's heard enough, she takes off and leaves me standing.
There has to be a secret to this menopause thing, and I feel fairly certain there is someone or some facility out there who is going to find the magic formula. I don't care if their prime motive is monetary or not - BRING IT ON.
Have you heard whether we actually ever get over this or not? Do we just keep coping, and then one day they find us over in the corner playing with our toes? You have my email (it was in my original post - I think). Write if you need to vent any more, or else I'll see you on this forum. Keep looking up. Annie

Hello ladies, I had a total hysterectomy many years ago. I was on Premarin which helped . Now after 20 years of taking it my Dr. says I am still getting benefits from it and stay on it. I think having your ovaries intact and going through menopause causes you a host of other problems. You will get over them in time (can't say how long) but even this shall pass.There is a sane life ahead of you.
Keep positive.

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Annie R:
[qb] Hi everyone - I'm the new kid on the block. What can I say - I'm 58 and in a menopause puddle. The puddle keeps getting deeper and I can't find my way out. I have been on estrogen for about one year(hysterectomy in 1981 - only have ovaries). I was on 1.0 estraderm until April 8 when I had a major GI bleed after a colonoscopy. The funny thing is I lost 11 pounds while off the estraderm while in the hospital and during recuperation. I went back on the 1.0 Estraderm and immediately (3 weeks time) gained the 11 pounds back. I went to my doctor two weeks ago and asked that my estraderm be cut to .5 thinking a lower dose may allow me to control my weight.He put me on Vivelle Dot .5. I haven't seen any results yet, but now am trying to conquer a new fear. I had cramping in the lower abdomen last weekend. Along with that I had my usual diarrhea/constipation, gas, bloating, fatigue, headache, lower back pain, etc. etc. My doctor sent me yesterday for an ultrasound to rule out ovarian cancer. Seems the symptoms are the same as for menopause - except the cramping - never had that before. I truly feel this is just a fluke, and ovarian cancer is out of the question. But how many women are ignoring these symptoms and find out too late they have ovarian cancer? Any ideas on this? I will get my results on the ultrasound Monday. In the meantime, menopause has hit me full force right where it hurts - in my life.

<small>[ 09-30-2005, 12:00 PM: Message edited by: Moderator ]</small>

Hi Again Annie

Thank you so much for writing me. I am not sure how to find your email but you can write me at ***
I know in time I will realize how lucky I am that he showed his true colors but right now he has me in such a mess. We moved to Florida over two and a half years ago. We were married 3 in May. My household items are all in NY in the house and they are treasures. My parents had both died and most of the things are theirs and now really will go to my Daughter. It is the little things that I want the things that can never be replaced. The furniture is just that to me but my Daughter cries over it. Here I am stuck in FL feeling like a woman without a country. I am not feeling sorry for myself just stating facts. I was injured last year by an 18 wheeler as I mentioned so I can't work full-time yet unless it is not physically taxing. I still have a long road ahead of me before I can really shine at a job again. I was by myself with my Daughter for 32 years so I do know how to take care of myself. I think he got me when I was vulnerable with both parents gone in 11 months with very cruel illnesses and my surgery in between the two. My first husband died when my Daughter was a baby and honestly I never planned on marrying again. They say that is when it happens. Oh well. You are right......throw the paper away. Better yet I like the "burn it" thing.

Congratulations on taking on a new career if I read that right. I have a friend that did medical billing and she said it is a foreign language all it's own.

As far as my screen name. I did ride but don't have a horse in fact it was a mustang that ended that pretty much. The wildmustang is me. My friends use to say I was like a wild horse. I wanted love but you could only get so close to me then I ran like the wind for no reason. Gut instinct saying don't trust I guess. Right now I feel I should have stayed that way. I was losing weight for the first time in a long time and feeling good about me and I was planning on moving to Austin TX. Then along came this man who turned my life upside down and not in a good way except at the age of 50 I got my license. Living in Boston is like living in NYC. Cars are a pain and where I worked cost 32 dollars a day for parking. I am glad I learned though of course after I wrote you I took my Gracie for a carwash. My brake line broke and it has rained for 3 days. They say when it rains it pours but I will be OK I know. Down here though you have to have a car. It was also my independence to go from him. I figured pack up the cats...move stuff I have here which is not that much either into my huge trunk or storage room somewhere and go. I am waiting for my settlement from the accident but Florida is it's own country and because a certain PD made all of my reports disappear my settlement was not as it should have been. Oh well again....can't cry over it or get angry....too much energy and I need all I have to move on. I'm just annoyed that what seemed to be so easy has fallen apart a bit.

Anyway.....I love hearing about your horse. Personally I think menopause is really MEAN O PAUSE aka MEN.....they do not get it anymore than they get the Mars Venus thing. We can co-exist but they have to listen and HEAR US!

Clear thinking is something it appears most doctors do not do when it comes to women. Remember when the cure for everything was a hysterectomy? I was lucky and had a great surgeon who gave me 3 options. I went with the partial and do kick myself for that. I found out later my cousin ended up with cancer the year after hers but I do my checkups. I would have it all pulled out now if I had a zipper in me ha ha. I think my ovaries are shooting hormones off and on just enough to make me more of a mess than I already felt. Going off antidepressants right now aren't helping but I want to clean my body out of toxics. Yesterday I suddenly had my feet puff out huge and one turned partially blue. I had coffee and managed to dump fluid alllllllllll night and things are better. I did weight myself this morning though and have put on 10 lbs in about a week or two. Needless to say if nothing else makes me cry, that is doing it now. My mood swings are like severe PMS. My Daughter called yesterday and all of a sudden I sobbed....she thought I was kidding then realized I wasn't. I did that 3 times during our conversation and she things Mommy should take her pills. I think I can get through this without them and hope I can lose the weight.

I honestly don't know if there is an end to this for those of us who really have it severe. I can picture myself sitting in the corner playing with my toes.....if I stop gaining weight and can reach them that is.

Annie please write me at my personal email. I'd love to hear more from you.

Red Hot Mamas supposedly has a chapter at the hospital around the corner from here so I am hoping to find out more about it. They seem to know what they are talking about.

Thank you all for being here and sharing. When you know you are not alone it sure helps.

I agree with the other message about partials and unless you really are far from menopause.....let them have it all. I had a cyst on my right ovary less than a year after the surgery and honestly, when that burst I had more pain than I had in labor having my Daughter. I know it can happen again now. The risks that again they do not tell you. My doc was good giving options but didn't tell me all. If you are not going to use the stuff anymore anyway.....why keep it ) Now I know though too little too late.

***Moderator's Note
Sorry but email addresses cannot be posted on the bulletin boards. You may put them in your profile for posters to see

<small>[ 09-30-2005, 12:05 PM: Message edited by: Moderator ]</small>

Hi Ruby

Thanks for sharing. Honestly I hated Premarin and felt worse taking it. My doc at the time said I could only take it for five years. As long as it is helping you I am glad to know someone feels better from it.

I agree about the ovaries as you may have noticed in my previous post. Looking back I would definitely have had it all out. My procedure was a bit of an emergency due to bleeding severely due to fibroids of all things. I was equal to five months of pregnancy and my former doctor had kept telling me I had a virus. Yeah....the virus made me look like Donald Duck...you know that pregnant belly that is rounded like him? When my suits no longer buttoned I knew I had to push for more and find someone better....then all hell broke loose and they figured it out. You would thing the nausea, growing abdomen etc. would have alerted them. I got to the point where I couldn't walk five feet without being sick and couldn't breathe. They checked my heart....my everything except the most obvious at my age. Knock wood I have good genes and never smoked or drank other than a glass of wine or two so I am told how much younger I look. I guess my doc took that as the fact that made it impossible for me to be menopausal. When will these doctors learn? I found even women doctors are not much better. Maybe because they are younger and not worried yet.

Thanks again Ruby.....positive is a requirement because mind and body are truly connected.

My poor Daughter appears to most likely suffer some of my heritage with all of this. She has been a poster child for PMS all of her life and last year at 34 she had to have surgery for a fibroid which turned into major surgery when they found one the size of a baby's head behind her uterus. God I hope they find help before she has to deal with all of this. I tried to donate my uterus to a study at Brigham and Womans but they did not have a team on the day I was done. I wanted them to have it in case it could help my Daughter not even knowing that four years later she would already have issues. I'd do anything to spare her this stuff as I know all of you with Daughter's would.

God Bless you all for sharing...........we need each other because we understand.

Dawn - I wasn't aware that our emails won't show in the posts. Go into your profile and post your email. I will do the same. Your story sounds somewhat like my daughter's. She had the most unbelievable past - had a bullseye on the back of her shirt, a terrible marriage but a wonderful little girl. Then she divorced and started dating a nice guy. Make a long story short, she found herself pregnant, they were planning a quick wedding, and he keeled over in the front yard with a heart attack. He was a Navy Seal - picture of health. She struggled so much for so long, had all sorts of problems, but God led her through it - and she is now married to the 2nd greatest guy on the face of the earth. He picked her up, all her baggage, her problems, her children, and they've had one of their own and she is expecting again. Her life is still in a turmoil when it comes to her first husband, but he'll get what is due him in the long run.
I got the results back from my ultrasound this morning - it came back normal. My husband used it as an opportunity to say "That's Wonderful!!! although it's probably the only thing that's normal about you!!!". He's a sweetheart.
Please keep plugging along. You wouldn't believe how strong you sound underneath all the words you wrote. I think it would be a good idea to search out the Red Hot Mamas that are close to you there. There are lots of sources of inspiration out there - in the most unsuspecting places. Search them out, become a part of them and never, never think you're alone. We all have problems, different types, different degrees - but no one is without them. You sound like a VERY strong person to me. God Bless

Dear Annie

You are a doll and I am so happy your test results came back negative. I knew they would.....I just did!!!! You are right, we all have our own things to bear. I was a strong person and will be again. It takes time to grieve and I know that is what is going on with me. I did have to go back on my meds though.....I started to go through withdrawal and found this is not the time to try that. I was so sick and today I feel almost new again. When you go off a med they mean it when they say don't do it cold turkey. I had to the first time and this time I tried on my own.....all I can say is picture a migraine, flu and food poisoning all rolled into one and add hysteria to it. When I found myself screaming like a horror movie victim I knew I had to fix this. The ex actually went and got my pills for me. I hate to need them but for now I guess I do. Oh well.

I hope to hear from the chapter over at the hospital. I think I need that outlet where others are going through this too. I mean the menopause stuff. The rest is easier to share when you write.

You remind me of a darling friend in Arkansas....I miss her and we are in touch still. One of my poorest but happiest times in my life was in West Little Rock.

Your Daughter's story sounds like a friend of mine in Boston. She was never married, finally found Mr. Right....and boy was he right in every way you could think. Well he designed a ring to be made with his Grandmother's huge yellow diamond, proposed, had my friend moving her stuff in and same thing.....just before Thanksgiving he fell over as they came in from outside. Because she was not married yet, they sealed the house and told her to get her stuff out. His ex demanded the diamond back for her sixteen year old supposedly although it was her ex husband's Grandmother not hers. My friend had left a huge job as a trader in Boston which is still hard for women to move up past the glass ceiling. She was devastated and hopefully better. I am not in the area and have lost her out there.

As you said......we all have our own things. We will get by them. We are all strong.....WE ARE WOMEN.......we have to be.

I still believe in the old song "I AM WOMAN"......

PS......tell me how to add my email.....I seem to be having issues here.

Hugs
Dawn

To Moderator

Please advise me as to where I must enter and how I may put my email in for Annie to write me at it. Thanks for letting me know. It must be all the reading that I missed that.

As you could see, we are both new and want to write to each other more. I keep a separate email for areas such as this.

Sincerely,
Mustangdawn

Mustangdawn
If you go to your profile you should be able to put your email address where it says Location or Home