His and Her Health

This is my first time at this site so please excuse me if this subject has already been discussed. I am through menopause and now have no sexual desire at all. Is there anything out there, other than HRT, that can help me?

Welcome Dottie, I hope you have read some of the other posts in the Menopause forum. There are others with your problem. Also check out www.redhotmamas.org

Are you open with your partner about your lack of libido? This is the first step to approaching the situation. If your partner is not understanding and supportive of you now, it can escalate the problem later. He/she needs to gain perspective of your problems and only then can you work on fixing it together.

If he/she is there for you, then you may be able to work with them to increase your desire. You can try to bring back affection in your relationship in different subtle ways to increase your sexual frequency. If you are both open to trying to help the situation, then maybe you can start by reintroducing hugs and kisses and cuddling time.

Do you have times where you feel like having sex and others where you don't? Or, do you just plain never want to have sex?

There are other ways you can boost your libido. Some women use botanical therapies (black cohosh, damiana, etc.). Also, lifestyle changes can help too (i.e., diet and exercise).

Exercising regularly can help improve your libido by relieving stress, moving blood to the pelvic area and nourishing vaginal tissue. Exercise also increases energy, improves strength and flexibility thus improving sexual health and desire. Kegels can also help. What do you do for exercise?

Don't worry- this is not the end all of your sex life. You do have options but you need to be patient and try to stay lighthearted about the situation. And remember.... YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

There are lots of us out there with the same problem, don't fret. I only wish the medical community (which I am about to become a part of) paid more attention to this problem. Perhaps that will be my mission.

Here's what has helped me. Lubrication is a must, I swear by Astroglide. You can buy it anywhere, there's no smell, it feels like the real thing and it washes out easily. Get a vibrator and don't be afraid to use it. Try taking Arginmax. It's the only natural suppliment that has been tested in double blind trials. It's helped me, you can buy it at GNC stores or online. I take double the recommended daily dose of high quality fish oil. I highly recommend it. Fish oil is not, in my experience, a mircle drug for increasing libido but I can tell you that it does help and I've never felt better.

And, I agree with the exercise. I walk two miles every day before work. The bottom line is that what once happened easily you now will have to work on. It's one of life's great injustices, but life isn't fair, is it?

I'm finding this an exciting time of my life. I'm going to college at night, changing careers, and enjoying my relationship with my husband more than ever. I wish you the same.

I would suggest you talk to your health care provider about the use of dehydroepiandrosterone, known as DHEA. This hormone is synthesized by the adrenal gland and the levels decline in both men and women as they age. Some studies show that DHEA replacement increases feelings of well-being and heightened libido. Your DHEA blood levls should be measured. Discuss the use of this product with your doctor before purchasing it. It may be helpful to you if recommended by your doctor.

Here's an interesting statistic: According to a study conducted by the National Council on Aging, 70% of menopausal women believe that sex is at least as satisfying as when they were in their 40s.

I read an article via Google called Menopause hits Sex Lives. In it Karen Gilbin was quoted, "...I have heard that a lot of women would rather go shoe shopping than have sex, and that concerns me"
Well I am one of those women, married, post-menopausal, and I am completely content without sex. If it isn't what I want, why be concerned? Isn't it a personal choice? My elderly husband is happy not to have me asking, because he's not able.

I think you're right Peggy. It IS a personal choice. In your situation, everyone is happy. I'm sure you find happiness and satisfaction in your life in other ways. You have a great attitude of "why fight it?" I commend you for that!

The key is hormone balance, to include proper levels of estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone. Every woman is different and every woman requires different amounts of hormones so it needs to be titrated to meet each woman's needs. The good news is you are not alone and I do think you can be helped.
Jennifer Berman, MD

<small>[ 09-08-2007, 08:03 AM: Message edited by: Moderator ]</small>

Dr. Berman...In general, how long does it take to get balanced? I have been seeing a BodyLogic physician for a year now faithfully doing quarterly saliva tests and taking bioidentical hormones. If my libido and perimenopausal symptoms haven't improved in a year...will they ever get better?

In my experience it takes about 3-6 months. Since you have been working with your doctor for about a year using saliva tests perhaps you could request blood tests instead. Once your levels are where they should be then you can expect to start feeling better.