His and Her Health

I just wanted to tell my story in case it helps anyone else to have hope for finding a cure for their VVS or who is trying to decide whether to have surgery. I had primary vestibulitis (pain upon contact only) and had always had pain using tampons and during exams. I had always assumed that the pain was from my hymen and would be fine eventually, but found out that my pain was not normal when I first started having sex with my then boyfriend and now husband and the pain never went away. It definitely put a huge strain on our relationship (see previous posts). After seeing several gynecolegists who told me nothing was wrong, the wonderful nurse practitioner in student health at my grad school finally diagnosed me with VVS and I was referred to Dr. Nyirjesy in Philadelphia. I went through a year of failed treatments and physical therapy and finally decided to have a vestibulectomy three months ago. The recovery was easier than I thought it would be and the pain was not bad at all if I didn't try to overdo it. The only thing that really bothered me was the unbearable itching I had from week 2 to week 4 and then I had to have my stitches removed because they were causing so much itching but I have heard that is not typical. I am still currently undergoing the physical therapy and stretching with dilators, which I have found to be very helpful to help gauge my recovery. During the entire healing time, I was just gripped with fear that the surgery did not work because of course, you experience pain during the recovery. Just during the past week, I found the therapy really going from initial pain to just slightly uncomfortable upon the inital penetration due to stretching and I decided to try having sex with my husband. It was slightly painful for maybe the first 30 seconds and we took it slow but after that, it didn't hurt at all. I was in disbelief the entire time and it was weird because I kept waiting for the familiar knife-like pain to return and it didn't. When it was over, I didn't feel the burning sensation I used to feel. I wouldn't say it felt good, but that will come with time. I just can't believe this whole ordeal is coming to an end...

I hope this post helps those of you who are going through the same thing. I know everyone heals at different rates and just because I feel better at 3 months doesn't mean it's normal for everyone. I have read many posts that people have said they did not have pain-free sex until 4-6 months. I guess my only regret was that I didn't have the surgery sooner. I really wish I could have had pain-free sex on my honeymoon and it could have prevented a lot of relationship problems in our marriage. If you have an questions about the surgery or recovery, please let me know. I think the most important thing in treatment of VVS is finding the right doctor, so please make sure you find a specialist who knows what they are doing and listens to you and if you have surgery, make sure they have done a lot of vestibulectomies! Best of luck to everyone out there who is recovering or trying to make a decision about treatments.

Skittles, I just wanted to tell you congratulations! I am 2 1/2 months post-op and I'm still waiting to know if my surgery worked. Its been reading stories like yours that has given me the courage to go through this.
After a year and half of marriage myself, I know how you must feel about finally having pain-free sex with your husband. Congratulations to the both of you.

I'm very happy for you. Thank you for sharing your success story and I hope you continue to let us know about your progress. It gives everyone hope.

Yes thank you so much, please let us know how you go. I'm so pleased for you! xo

Congrats to you!!! I am 10 weeks post-op and already have noticed improvment. I would do it all over again too. The surgery was NOT bad at all. I have not had sex yet, but am working with a PT and using dilators. I cannot believe the difference at my 6'oclock position (bottom vestibule)!! You give us all hope.

Hey Skittles,

Good on you! I am four months post op and having pain free, fun sex again after 5 years of intolerance. I know exactly how relieved you feel and I can assure you it will get even better. As your fears diminish and your "miracle" becomes more trustworthy, you will be able to feel safe and get this awful part of your life behind you. Knowing that you and your loved one have survived this, you have to know that you can weather a lot of storms! So many times I was hopeless as I have read many of you are and were, but there really is hope. Don't give up and DO NOT let anyone tell you that you have to settle for painful or no sex. It is not in your head and it is fixable. Big hug on you, Skittles!

miss kitty toes
So glad to hear you are doing well. I just had my surgery 4 days ago. Still in quite a bit of pain. My doctor has not mentioned using a dialator. Is this common after surgery?

Flash,
I had a vestibulectomy 11 weeks ago. Under the search option at top, type in vestibulectomy. There are a lot of previous discussions that have helped me dating back as far as a few years ago. It really helped me a lot.

For the pain, I found that a bag of frozen corn or peas worked well. I had two bags so I could rotate them as they thawed. I just layed in bed, caught up on TV, and rested the veggies in my crotch.

If you're on pain meds, make sure you take a stool softener. That was the best advice I had received. You might get constipated or have hard stools. Taking a softener will make such a difference.

I did not start using a dilator until after my post-op visit 8 weeks after surgery. Your doc might wait until you go back to mention them. Or, he/she might not at all. Many of us have used them (or sex toys). It helps stretch you out and relax. I'm still using them (I'm on size 2 in my kit) in preparation for sex again.

I hope you feel better soon!

Flash,
The dialators and a vibrator helped a lot post op. But, be sure to let yourself heal sufficiently. My doctor told me I'd be having sex by 6 weeks post-op. NOT! I wasn't able to have sex until 4 months but now everything is fine. So be patient and know the worst is behind you.

Thanks to all for your encouragement. I'm 5 days post-op now and feeling a little better. Has anyone tried warm baths? I thought that might feel good. My doc also said sex was possible after a month. I don't think so. I'm trying to walk around a lot and keep things loosened up. I will let you know how I am doing.
Flash

I used a sitz bath that fits in over the toilet that you sit in. Also, I bought a bulb syringe and squirted my self down with a stream of water quite often. In fact, I'm 11 weeks post-op and I still do it every now and then because I got in the habit of doing it and it feels refreshing and cleansing.

Hello Ladies,

I'm at 4 weeks post-op, and am very hopeful that the surgery will be a success. Flash, during the first week I was in quite a bit of pain, and they had a hard time getting the meds regulated. My advice to you is to sleep as much as you can, and not to move around. Also, I agree with Natalieann. If you are not taking a sitz bath (available at Eckerd or med supply store) at least twice a day...begin doing them now. I wouldn't suggest taking the warm bath in the tub, as climbing in and out may be difficult at this point.

I hated the sitz baths at first because they hurt during and immediately after, but the ten minutes spent twice a day actually helped me heal, and meant a lot less pain during the in between time. I used the ice once I returned to bed following the sitz bath. Also, you should get a squeeze bottle and use it while you're urinating to dilute the acidty of your urine.

Ditto, on the stool softeners. I'd continue them as long as you're on pain meds, because if you get constipated or have to push at all it can cause more bleeding. I also invested in a donut for use when attempting to sit on hard surfaces (like eating out).

I'm up and moving around now, but I think I over did it yesterday because I started spotting again. The best advice I can offer is to take it slow. And as my doctor said, literally have someone at your beck and call for the next week or two. Keeping as still as possible is the key to good healing. When I went in @ 2 1/2 weeks for my first post op he said that he was actually very surprised at how well the suture line looked. I attribute this to COMPLETE bed rest for the first two weeks as instructed.

I do have a question for those who are sexually active again...

Since the surgery essentially covers the glands responsible for creating our vaginal secretions, do you still produce your own moisture when you get aroused, or will we be dependent on commercial lubricants now?

Hi! I had surgery exactly 1 year ago last June and I too am a success story! It took me 4 1/2-5 months before I was able to have intercourse without pain but it truly was not enjoyable until about 8 months out when not only my body was healed but also my mind knew that I was truly ok. That takes a lot of time as well. I had a total vestibulectomy with vaginal advancement and I do notice I do not get as lubricated like I used to but I also think that I am not as into it as I used to be seeing that I had this issue for 5 1/2 years of no intercourse and being extremely sexually active before hand. It put a major mental strain on my mind and I don't think I am emotionally there yet to get back into it like I used to. I think that plays a big part as well but thanks to silicone lube, I am doing great! LOL! When it came to dilators, my doc did not recommend I use them, he just said to use my finger to stretch and massage and if I had toys, I could use those if I felt necessary. Luckily I sell romance products so I bought about 3 different ones in different sizes and did it on my own, haha! If anyone needs to talk about surgery, feel free to click on my link above my post and contact me! Stacy

HI to All
I had my 2 week checkup yesterday and my doc said I am healing wonderfully. It is feeling a lot better now. Still hard to sit on a hard surface without a cushion. Thanks to all for your continued advise.
Flash

So encouraging to hear that you all are recovering and this nightmare is going to be behind you. My doctor told me that the main glands for producing lubrication are removed during the surgery and that I would have to use artificial lubrication from now on. I usually put a little premarin cream around the opening and on the clitoris before sex and that's very stimulating. We use lots of the warming KY jelly during sex and that's stimulating as well, so all in all, no ground lost by using the artificial lubrication. Congrats to us all!