His and Her Health

Does anyone else with primary vulvar vestibulitis find that certain positions, and your partner's size, affect how "tolerable" intercourse is, or is your pain consistently excruciating no matter what? Have you ever been able to "enjoy" intercourse? Also curious about how often others with vestibulitis even attempt sex...

Thank you,
ac

ACT3,if you use the search button at the top of this page and type in vulvar vestibulitis then highlight "all open forums" and click search it will bring up about 60 posts on the subject for you to read.

Thank you for the reply. I follow this board pretty closely and think I've already read all of the posts - haven't come across much addressing my specific question, so it would still be great to hear from others on the topic. Thanks again.

Hi AC73

I think your question is so valid!! I have also read pretty much every post on this board, and would like to hear people's comments and experiences regarding the "sex issue".

My personal experience is that all positions are ok, there is not one that is worse than any other. I have pain localised to the vestibule around the urethra and especially in the area of the skene's glands, so technically my vaginal opening is not affected.

I am in pain 24/7, however, after intercourse the pain is severely worsened, just in the area of my "sore spot", which pain is normally a severe "bruised" feeling or a scratchy feeling ( which feels like I am being sandpapered ). This pain will last anywhere between 1 to 3 days. Sometimes I have no pain after intercourse, but this is very rare for me. During intercourse I do not have pain, although I can feel my sore area. Its like I can feel it, but I don't feel it being sore. Does that make sense?

I generally attempt sex once every week or two. For me this is the most frustrating aspect of my VV. I got married in March and have never had "normal" intercourse with my husband without pain afterwards. He is very supportive, but it leaves me feeling unattractive and inadequate.

I have secondary VV, which is most frustrating, as before I had accute onset of symptoms 6 years ago I had normal, pain free sex. I miss it!!!!

I would love to hear how you deal with this and what your pain response is during and after sex. We are in this together!

PS: size of my partner made no difference whatsoever...

My pain is worse in the 4, 6, 8 position and I find the following things help...

Any position that angles my husband upward away from the sore area. So modified missionary where he kneels in front of me and my legs are straight up helps. Usually I use a few pillows to prop myself up.

Being on top is usually the easiest for penetration.

Regular missionary is the worst.

Since we don't use condoms I occasionally put vaseline in the vestibule especially the sore area. Apparently I had a small fissure, and since the vaseline had thickness it stayed in place to protect the area during penetration.

I haven't tried lidocaine yet, but it certainly helps with the PT and dilators so far.

Having sex more often does not take away the knife pain, or ripping feeling, BUT since my muscles are looser, penetration is usually faster, allowing us to minimize the length of the most painful portion of intercourse. This also reduces the amount of pressure on the tissue in the vestibule which helps a little.

Deep penetration is also most comfortable, and deep thrusting or sideways movements are always easier than thrusts where penetration is fairly shallow....ie pulling 1/3 the way out then thrusting deeper is much easier than pulling 2/3 the way out and thrusting. SHallow thrusts are the worst (the first third inserted only). Midway through sex when we are completely still there is generally no pain, so I guess rapid movement is also aggravating.

usually I pause after penetration to make sure that all my muslces are completely relaxed, since it is natural to tense up during painful penetration. We pause during intercourse whenever I feel myself tightening...I take a few deep breaths and apply more vaseline, without actually stopping sex.

We take penetration slowly as well and pause if I feel myself tensing up.

I've only had one partner so I can't comment on size.

THis is what's helped me, would love to here any one elses tips.

lotus

what medicines are you taking? Are you considering nerve blocks or botox?

Lotus, what you described in terms of sex is almost exactly what I would describe sex to be like. And it used to be when I was using lidocaine, that once we were "into" it, as in past the pain, we were able to have pretty carefree sex. Unfortunately if he happened to hit the spot all the pain would come back and we'd have to stop.

I've never had sex with the lidocaine before--I just started using it a few weeks ago. I'm on doctors orders to abstain for 3 months since I am using an estrogen testosterone cream that causes birth defects and am off the pill. I tried the lidocaine with the dilators and it almost completely took away the pain.

The pain definitely does come back after penetration, albeit in a less severe manner, but I think I am just distracted the closer I get to orgasm. Perhaps I loosen up as well too. THis is graphic , but as long as we keep the wider top portion of his penis deeper than my vestibule the pain is tolerable and I am able to focus on what feels good about sex. Unfortunately he doesn't like this and prefers to be in the tighter portion of my canal:( My husband isn't happy with a lot of the modifications we've made to make things easier for me, they really seem to reduce his pleasure level Have any of you had similar experiences?

Oddly despite being in pain, I have an orgasm 80% of the time. Sometimes I wonder if that's because I do hold my muscles tightly, so I'm hoping PT doesn't reduce my ability to climax! Also, I wait until I'm closer to orgasm before penetration than most women probably do. I find it makes penetration a little easier, being as expanded and excited as possible. And all the positions that angle him upwards make it easier for him to hit my gspot, so that ladies is the small silver lining that I cling to in all of this.


Medications--just the lidocaine and estrogen testosterone. In about 2.5 months I'll try sex again with the lidocaine and if things aren't improved I might look into botox or nerve blocks etc. Although my pt thinks my muscles are releasing really well. And the primary pain I feel is in the vestibule, I think the tightness just exacerbates it by putting more pressure in a sensitive spot. Are the nerve blocks injections? Of which drug? Have you had it done yet? Was it painful?


THe lidocaine really helps me during the physical therapy though, a few months ago without it I would have been crying during pt--not when they press on muscles deep inside , but when they press on the opening, so I am hoping the lidocaine will make sex easier too.

lotus: nerve blocks are injections; depending on the doctor, they can be a combo of lidocaine (or macaine, or similar) with a steroid. different people react differently to the pain and depending on the type of doctor to perform the block they may be finger guided or through assitance of florouscopy or something similar.

i have suggested like you say, to some patients, that an orgasm prior to penetration may help them, so i am glad it works for you. I don't think the PT will reduce the ability of you having an orgasm.
good luck with your recovery!