His and Her Health

I had a vestibulectomy in October. How long does it take after a vestibulectomy for this "post-surgery soreness"/"stretching" pain when having sex and using the dilators to go away?
Before surgery, I'd never been able to have sex as my VVS was too painful, so my experience may be a little different from most of you, but I need a comparison.
Also - how do you and your partner deal with this phase? I feel like my boyfriend and I were better off before, as this is so unpleasant for both of us. I'm contemplating time apart while I use the dilators until my body adjusts.
I would really appreciate some feedback as I don't have any friends who've ever experienced this.

venus415, go to the top of this page where the search button is, enter vestibulectomy, then highlight All Open Forums and click search. That will bring up over 100 posts referring in some way to vestibulectomy. Many are posters who have had the operation. If you take the time to read some I think your questions will be answered.

Moderator - I know you mean well, but honestly - I have read so many posts in this forum that it makes my head spin. Please don't assume that I didn't "take the time to read some." I asked these particular questions because I don't see that many posts about how women and their partners deal with what, for me, is proving to be the most difficult part of my recovery.

Hi Venus415

I'm afraid I can't be of much help - I just had my vestibulectemy 2.5 weeks ago.

I have read on these boards that it can take 5 to 8 months to have painless, comfortable sex. How long after your operation did you finally feel "not sore", except for trying sex, of course. I am very sore, especially when getting up and sitting down. Do you feel pain when not having sex? Did you feel pain when not having sex before your operation?

What were your pathology results as to the cause of your VVS after the operation? Mine showed deep tissue infection in the tissu around the urethra especially. All the infection was removed so I'm hoping this will be my answer.

I'd really like everyone's comments on this valid topic - just how long does it take to be "normal" and at what stage can one safely assume the op did / did not work???

Hello imsoretoo.

I remember when I was 2.5 weeks post-op. I couldn't sit comfortably, so I just lied sitting up in bed for until the beginning of week 4. For me, it took about 9 weeks for the pain I felt sitting down to fully go away, but there was improvement week to week. I remember I was worried about it, because it seemed like a really long time. I never felt any pain when lying down or walking - though I walked slowly and with my knees together for 4 weeks - and I really only walked to the bathroom for the first 2 weeks. I had pain only upon touch of the vulvar vestibule - so tampons hurt and sometimes certain positions of sitting down could hurt. But my main problem was sexual activity. My pathology results showed "results consistent with the diagnosis of VVS." From what I can understand of it, it says that there was a density of certain nerve fibers I think. I recieved it after my post-op, but intend to talk about it with my doctor at my next visit in March. I'll let you know.

I've read that it takes 5-8 months too. But what's so difficult for me to deal with is that I was never able to have sex at all before. I was, for lack of a better word, a virgin before my surgery. I mean, it was impossible. So, even when it comes to my state of mind, it's so hard for me to gauge what part of this is normal for having sex for the first time and what part of this is just post-vestibulectomy stuff? I mean I'm really having a very hard time with this. I feel like I've missed out on so much in my life, and I feel like "Is this what I've been missing?"

Dear Venus415

Thank you so much for your reply. I think it is so important for us to all support each other in any way we can. Sometimes I sit here in my house and really think I am going mad!!!!!

Wow, 9 weeks is quite long, but I can wait if it means the pain will go away!!! I also don't feel any pain unless the area is touched, so sometimes walking hurts, and particularly getting up and sitting down. I also can't use tampons - I can insert them but thereafter they hurt like hell till I take them out.

I think I was lucky in that I was able to have sex. It wasn't very comfortable, and it hurt so much afterwards - for up to 3 days after I would be in tears. Usually it was a burning and then a scratching feeling.

I have read about someone (on this board I think) who made a full recovery and her pathology also showed increased nerve density!!! So I think you can be positive that you will be ok!!!. My next dr visit is also in March - on the 16th. Its a mission because he lives in a different city and I have to fly there to see him - expensive!!!! I will also keep you posted every step of the way:-)

I was lucky, I think, in that I had lots of pain free normal sex before I developed VV. However, I broke up with that boyfriend and have since married. I'd had VV for 3 years before I met my husband and it kills me to know that I've never had normal sex with my husband, but I have had it with someone else ( I had one partner before my husband )- how bad is that? THere are no words to describe how inadequate that makes a person feel - I'm sure you know what I mean.

It must be very hard for you to be able to tell what normal sex feels like if you had never had sex before. All I can tell you is that before I had VV (even on my first time) sex was never even slightly painful. How do you know your pain is post surgery and not VV pain?? I am having a difficulty distinguishing the two and I keep feeling pain and thinking the op was not a success.

Have you looked at the ICN - the interstitial cycsitis network? If you google vestibulectomy you should find links to it. They have a message board too and there are posts on there about woman who have had vestibulectomies. Maybe you will find something useful.

Thank you for being so open and honest with me - it helps to know we are not alone! Lots of love and hugs from me

the suture line can be tender for a full year, but the knife-like pain of neuroproliferative vestibulodynia should be gone by 6 weeks postoperatively. Dilators typically take 4 months post-operatively- it depends on how aggressive you use them and on partner size.