His and Her Health

I lost my husband two years ago and have not had intercourse or any sexual activity since.
I was intimate for the first time last week and to my surprise,it hurt so bad,he had to stop.
It felt like he was pinching my sides and the friction was killing me..Also upon deep thrust it hurt bad.
I am so freaked out feeling like I can never be intimate again..I noticed before I lost my husband I was starting to feel some pain but we were not active sexually either .I told my husband at that time it hurt and if it kept hurting I was going to go to the Dr.
Well I didnt go because my husband died..
I am 54 years old and feel like after all the pain of losing my husband to suicide,now I can not even enjoy sexual intimacy and affection.
I was already depressed ,now i cant even be with a man and enjoy sex.
What is wrong with me? I know this most likely has something to do with menopause because about 4 years ago a gyno wanted to put me on estogen cream because I was showing signs vaginally of menopause.I told her I didnt want to use estrogen because I was scared of the side effects.She said if it gets bad enough you will..Well at the time,I thought she was talking about hot flashes etc,not losing my ability to have sex!
I had a hysterectomy at 34 years of age but they left one ovary,so I would not go into early menopause...Thats why Im not sure of when I started because I have not had a period since the age of 34..I dont have hot flashes or any other distressing syptoms ,just pain with intercourse..I can not have intercourse HELP!!!!
I did have about three years ago night sweats and that was it.Please somebody out there help me and tell me what to do??
I am in tears that I can not enjoy intimacy..I never thought sex would be so painful..I am a 54 year old virgin..My shaft feels like it is shorter as well..because my partner was not very big.

You sure sound like you are in menopause.You might want to go to our menopause forum and check them out.

it is likely that you have vulvovaginal atrohy (thinning) from a lack of estrogen and testosterone because of the remobval of one ovary and menopause. This is relatively easily treated with topical estrogen and testosterone in the vagina and on the vulva. You also may need to use a vaginal dilator to stretch the tissue. It may take several months, but you should be able to regain full sexual function.