His and Her Health

Personal question for all of you.

For those of you with vestibulitis is your partner able to ejaculate during intercourse?

My husband is not able to even though I am able to have an orgasm the vast majority of the time. He also has a pornagraphy addiction though, and from the research I've done, these conditions often go hand in hand.

Anyway we are trying to figure out the cause and are planning to go to sex therapy (he is already seeing a therapist regarding his issue). My husband thinks it is completely the fault of my medical condition. I find rapid thrusting uncomfortable and we have to take penetration slowly. Also, for some reason he prefers shallow penetration while I prefer deep penetration.

I tend to think it's a combination of both issues combined with his worry about hurting me during intercourse. I was just diagnosed recently, but it's been obvious that I've been in pain since the beginning esp during penetration, but less so later.

TMI but he masterbates with an *extremely* tight grip that couldn't be replicated by intercourse with any woman. He can ejaculate through manual stimulation from me, but not oral sex alone--I have to use my hands as well. THe pressure during oral isn't strong enough for him.

THis has really weighed on me because I've never had sex with anyone else, so I don't know if it's me or not. When my husband was in high school he had sex with someone else and was able to have an orgasm half the time. Around the age of 18 or 19 he developed the addiction. He had sex with other people and was NOT able to ejaculate. At the time he blamed it on using condoms.

There are times when I end sex early because I'm in pain (this was especially true the first year we were having sex), but most times now I am able to have sex for anywhere from 15-40 minutes. The length of time seems to have no impact on him. Sometimes he seems close but is not able to go over the edge. The few times I have encouraged him to thrust as much as he wanted to for an extended period have not yielded results either. It just left me in more pain.

The one time in almost 6 years he ejaculated was after 10 days of a small apartment packed to the brim with house guests. He had no privacy (There were 7 people sharing 1 bathroom and 2 bedrooms) and he couldn't masterbate or have sex with me. He claims there have been other occassions where he went a few weeks without masterbating, we had sex, and still wasn't able to have an orgasm. So he thinks the fact that he has decreased urgency from frequent heavy handed masterbation has nothing to do with it and it's all because he can't thrust as fast as he wants for as long as he wants.


I know there are lots of posts about this in the men's forum, but I wanted to get the feedback of other women with my medical condition.

THanks!