His and Her Health

Hi all,

This is my first post here, so I would like to give some background to my problem.

We are an Indian couple living in USA. My girlfriend, bless her, is the sweetest and most lovable person I have come across.

We both are students and in a live-in relationship, and intend to get married by this year end. We have been living together since last year.

While in India, we did get intimate, but never had penetrative sex.

We have had this problem ever since we tried penetrative sex last year. My girlfriend is the typical shy Indian girl, and somehow, doesnt give importance to sex.

We discovered that sex was very painful for her. A visit to university gynec revealed that her vaginal opening was very small, and needed exercise.

She suggested use of tampons/finger to do the same. On trying that, when my girlfriend still complained of pain, I discovered that she gave strong reflexes to even a touch by cotton bud. I read about vaginismus, and try and make her do kegel exercises.

I might be deviating too much from the problem, so here it is: She seems to have very low libido. If I do not initiate, she can go without sex for months.

She prefers that I give her a clittoral orgasm by rubbing her clit. She enjoys it, and gets fully aroused.

Is this still low libido, or female dysfunction?

I am confused. I got her berman dialators(with vibrator), but she did not even look at it.

I have tried talking with her in many ways, but she avoids the problem altogether.

She let me insert my index finger upto an inch once or twice, using lubricants, but that too, after a lot of coaxing on my part and complaining on hers.

I am getting frustrated day by day. She doesnt want to consult a gynec, and her mindset is that genitals are unclean, so doesnt prefer oral sex.

I have coaxed her into oral sex, and she enjoys cunnilingus too, once aroused. But I have to literally beg her for sex.

I am very patient with her, but now it has started affecting me, and our relationship lately.

Is my approach wrong? What can I do to solve this problem?