His and Her Health

Here is my situation. I met this guy awhile ago and we have been dating for four months now. I am truly attracted to him and enjoys being with him. He has a great sense of humor. I haven't dated anyone who makes me feel this good. Now, here is my problem, I decide to discuss our sexual history before I decide to have sex with him. During our conversation, he tries to avoid the topic, which makes me more curious about what he is possibly hiding. In a later conversation, I asked him again "How many women he has had sex with?" after telling him how many guys I had sex with. He seem a bit nervous and finally answered my question. He told me "None.". At first, I thought he was joking, and he said that he is a virgin and never kissed (french kiss) a woman before. Also, he mentioned that the relationship he had in past didn't last long enough. I'm surprise, because it's rare to meet a male virgin, who's not total Religious or anything. Oh, ah, I am 26 and he is 29 and will be 30 in a couple of months. So, what should I do? Should I dump him and find a more experienced guy or tell him that we be just friends? I would like some advice from you out there.<P>TIA<BR>nicole26476

Tia, honey, You have a virgin at your fingertips and you are thinking of letting him go? I think you may need some therapy! This is a clean slate! You can teach him everything that a man needs to know to please you and not have to undo the damage done by other women or friends! In my opinion, don't dump him....TRAIN HIM.<BR> Angela

Have to say I agree with Missann on this! Why on earth would you want to dump someone nice just cos he's a virgin??????? When I read the start of your post, I thought you were going to say he had slept with 5,493 women and you were afraid of just being a number to him <P>I'd say build up to penetrative sex slowly by doing lots of sexy sensual stuff in the meantime and your guy can learn a lot on the way.<P>Have fun!

Girl let me tell you. My boyfriend and I have been together for 2.5 years. I just found out about a year ago that he was a virgin. I also was a virgin. That doesn't mean I can't give you advice. By the way I'm only 19. If I was you I wouldn't break up with him. Because at least you know he doesn't have any STDs. Plus do you know how hard it is to find a male virgin these days. I believe if I'd known that my bf was a virgin I would've thought the same thing (about having someone more experience). But its not all about who's experience and who's not. Its about how that person makes you feel and how the person likes you for you. If you ask me not too many guys who are sexually experience are all that good anyway. Or look at it like this. What if the tables were turned. What if he didn't wanna be with you because you've already had sex and instead of being with you he wants someone who didn't have sex. How would you think. Because to him he might be ashamed because he's with someone who had sex already. Besides all that keep him it sounds like you have a real good man with you. You won't find too many like him. If you decide to leave him just for someone is more experience and it didn't turn out so good you're gonna ask yourself I wonder if my virgin bf was better than this and was it worth dumping him? Keep him girl.

Tia, I was talking with a friend of mine the other day and we were talking about your post and she reminded me of something. My husband was a virgin when we met. He had done other things but had never had intercourse. (he will be so embarassed when he reads this) I was not a virgin. I now know that him being a virgin has taught me more than the other 2 guys I was with before!!! My husband was not ashamed of his virginity...his grandfather was a penticostal preacher. Because of his openness to sex and learning, I learned a whole lot from him and about him and myself! I was molested for 12 years by my step father and still have some problems with that to this day and I have been married to "mr Wonderful" for 12 years. Not only can you teach him a thing or two about women and how to please us but he can maybe teach you a thing or two about men!! Not to mention....Well, lets just say that if I had it to do over again I would change alot of things about my life and the way I have done things but I would never change who I married or the fact that he was a virgin!!! <P> You know, it is actually kinda romantic when you think about it! He has been a virgin all of these years and you know he had chances with other women or girls (all men do) And he chose to give that special gift to you!!!! It makes you feel warm inside when you think about it doesn't it? I know it does me! Ilove my husband with all of my heart and soul and love him more every day and that only gets stronger as time goes by. I hope the same for you Tia!! Give this guy a shot. Virgin doesn't mean Stupid to the female body!!!!!<BR> Good luck and Godspeed!! Angela<p>[This message has been edited by missann (edited 14 August 2002).]

honey, if you dump him, please send him my way! I've never had the experience, but can only imagine what a peasure it would be to explore your sexuality together.you can teach him and enjoy it at thesame time. Iguess that idon't understand your concern.You can teach him about cuddling and caressing especialy after intercourse; and alsothat there is more tosex and lovemaking than penetration.Does he have any friends?, like him? <P>[This message has been edited by pegasusnova (edited 18 August 2002).]<p>[This message has been edited by pegasusnova (edited 18 August 2002).]

I'll disagree with the rest and I think you do need to find out what is going on. If he has a low libido, you need to know, if he has some physical problem you need to know, if he has some deep seated moral conviction you need to know. I had two boyfriends in college like this ,where I was told all kinds of moral reasons why they didn't want sex. Well my best friend walked in on one of them having sex with another guy and the other one I finally did seduce and he had totally undeveloped genitalia (poor thing I don't know who was more embarrassed)like a babies, and I'm not kidding! So none of this may apply to your boyfriend, but it is a little unusual and you do want the questions answered!

You know Siren, I don't think any of us thought of that! But you are right (as usual).<BR> Those are things that she would need to know before going any ferther with a serious relationship. <BR> Good thing you came along on this one huh? Angela

In response to the siren post, I once accidently walked in on him while he was talking a shower. There is nothing wrong with his genital area except that his penis and testicles are a lot smaller than the other guys I have seen (i.e. had sex with, etc.). He was prehensile about me walking in on him. This leads me to believe that he is insecure about his penis size, also maybe he did had many opportunities to have sex with other women in the past, but he probably thinks that he is too small to please a woman (I'm presuming this and have not brought this up in a conversation yet). All in all, I think this is more of a mental issue rather than a physical one.<P>nicole26476

Honey let me tell you, (my husband is going to kill me for saying this, but it is true)<P> My husband is alot smaller than any of the guys that I had been with...But it is not the size of that thing that matters!!!!! A small penis is more likely to have no trouble hitting the G-spot during intercourse!!! I am going to blow you mind here with some old sayings Don't judge a book by it's cover because dynamite comes in small packages!!!!!!! <P> I had a girl friend who thought the man had to hit "rock bottom" for it to be good...Until she got ahold of a "small" guy! Now she says she will never go back! I know men get tired of hearing this but size REALLY doesn't matter! In fact, with me it would be a liability!!!<P> Girl friend, when you finally get the chance you show him how to use what God gave him, because I have heard this from more than one person....Once they know how,(and it is true) It only gets better. <P> SHOW HIM HOW TO WORK IT GIRL! And he just may show you a few things!<P> Also, Try talking to him about it and let him know that it REALLY doesn't bother you. If all of the waiting was because of fear of being rejected then a nice conversation can change EVERYTHING Trust me on this one! It did with me and my H! Good luck and Enjoy! Angela

In the response to Angela girl I couldn't agree with you more. My boyfriend was also a virgin. You know his penis wasn't big either. Like you say it isn't the size that matters. Cause let me tell you, to me when we first did it, it seemed liked that it came natural with him. Believe it or not I heard some women say that some of the men that they were with had a big penis but couldn't work it the way that they would like them to. But besides all that I hope you guys stay together. Angela or Nicole respond back.<P>------------------<BR>

Ms. Brown, I wish all women felt the way we do, maybe then there wouldn't be such heartache for the "smaller" guys in the world. I have heard men say that women have actually laughed at them when they undressed infront of them....why are some people so cruel? I know of some guys that are "big" and couldn't give an orgasm if their lives depended on it!!!!!!! Have fun Angela

You just need to give him some confidence. We all have are insecurites, and need someone to help us get over them. As long as it works, and no health problems getting it up he's fine. You can also throw some toys in the mix. Just let him know how much you care for him and how much he turns you on. Try foreplay in the dark or by candle light to make him more comfortable, and go from there. Don't dump him. Hope this helps. Good luck!<p>[This message has been edited by stephjoe (edited 03 September 2002).]

well evceryone has jumped on THE SMALL PENIS bandwagon, but ladies don't you remember the SEINFELD episode about SHRINKAGE. I don't think you can tell the size of a males organ from a quick glance in the shower, My H is WELL endowed but I have seen his penis look an inch long and his testicles pulled up into his groin and had that been my first siting I may also have jumped to the conclusion that he was small. I am much more concerned that this gentleman has never had a relationship with a WOMAN for a long enough time for it to get sexual. Any way nicole hasn't posted in a while so it may be pointless discussing it anyway!

Siren, as usual you are right about the shrink factor! You may also be right about Nicole not posting...all of our efforts may be in vain! She may have thought that she would get the opposite response to what she said and can't stand the heat so left the kitchen. At any rate I hope the best for her and who ever she ends up with as a life partner. Angela