His and Her Health

I am about to strangle myself over this...I have never, not once in my life, had an orgasm. Not masturbating, not with any sex partners, not with experimenting. Dildos dont work, neither do vibrators, shower hoses, f*ing vibrating butterflies on the clit, an actual man humming on the clit, oils, techniques like 'aim your fingers toward her upper back!' Whatever!!! Enough!!! I have cried over this, and I'm crying now out of total frustration...it seems like no one has this problem and therefore has no answer....if I could f*ing masturbate myself to orgasm then I would rejoice!! But I can't and I never have! Am I just abnormal? Am I just that 1% that doesn't have one? What the hell?! I'm ready to tear my hair out or at least chemically castrate myself so I have no sexual desire at all and therefore don't yearn for this elusive thing called 'the orgasm'. At least I would be happy ffs.

Hi Jlbell,

You sound desperate, so thought I'd give you a few ideas:
Check out Betty Dodson in NYC. She has videos, also gives classes!! Sounds like you have tried many things, but I also would recommend Becoming Orgasmic by Julia Heiman and Joseph LoPiccolo--it's still the best book out there.
Sounds like you know what arousal feels like, you're aroused, but you just can't let go. Is that right?
Maybe at this point you've given yourself
a huge amount of performance anxiety and you need to back off.... I think reading Becoming Orgasmic would cover a lot of the potential things that might be going wrong for you.

Write back in with an update, ok?

Aline Zoldbrod Ph.D.

Jlbell,

Did you get the answer that you were looking for?

I was 30 before I had my first orgasm. I'm 49 now and recently ejaculated for the first time. Some of us are just late bloomers.

th,

What did you do to finally orgasm? Did you read a book, do therapy....or did it just magiclly happen?

th,
please answer husbandandwife's question!! How did it all the sudden happen???????

jlbell,
i am feeling you! i have never had an orgasm either and have tried so much stuff. I got my hopes up so high when I bought the Hitachi Magic Wand because all the reviews said, "If you've never had an orgasm, get the Magic Wand! It is the Cadillac of vibrators!" While I've come closer than ever with it, it still won't happen even if I do it for an hour straight. I am so f'ing frustrated.

How old are you?

Hello. I am also one of those who never had an orgasm. I am 24, I am with my boyfriend for 2.5 year, my 2 younger sisters have oragsms normally, but I have never had it. Not by masturbating, not during the sex. I am also quite desperate..i am afraid that because of this I am not satisfied with my partner, my love towards him becomes weaker, even though I know that the problem is with me. He likes to make love to me, and I do too, but just to make him happy. Many times I am excited and wet, but orgasm does not come. I am sure I want to visit doctor sooner, because everybody can have that except for me. If any woman here could not have an orgasm for a really long time, and then suddenly experienced it and has some good tips and tricks, could you please post them here? Many thanks.

katherine1234,here is a link to one of our websites with an article you may find interesting and helpful .Especially the Normal Female Response section.

http://www.bermansexualhealth.com/vaginismus/female-sexual-dysfunction.html

hello, i was sexually active from a young age(15) and never orgasmed until after my first childbirth. after that, all the time. i don't know why.