His and Her Health

My wife to be and I had great sex for the first 2 years. We were 19 and young. I should have known something was up though. Soon after that it started getting much tougher to coax her to have sex. She does not instigate sex anymore. Through the years sex has gone from 1-2 times per day over the first two years to 6-10 months after 15 years when I stopped caring. My luck she got pregnant 1-2 months after we started trying. Well things went down the tubes for me and resentment reigned regarding this. The last year I have been trying to rejuvenate our sex life. Between 35 and 44 I waited for her to peak. Forget it nothing changed. Last week I asked her to look on the internet to find something to raise her libido. I am still hoping. She does not like to be held at night. I tell her I love her too much for her liking. I buy her flowers weekly. I do the house work, dishes, laundry, cleaning. I am a professional. After my research it has got to the point of everyone saying divorce. Be happy that you still have drive at 44 and move on. It is not that simple. I am brutally honest with her on the subject so therapist will not help? No bad in her past. It is just the way some people are. I am keeping my options open with another women. What can it hurt, divorce or divorce. Knowing me I will get feelings and move on. What about the kids. This will not last forever. I will not die frustrated. She is intelligent but holding resentments about me that she can not get rid of. Can anybody help?

I am sorry for everything you have been through thus far. I can't imagine the sleepless nights you have had. I don't want my marriage to be like that, that is why I am here. I have only been married for 2 years, but see the same pattern starting, though I hope it isn't the same. My wife has not initiated sexual contact for at least six months. Though no where near as severe as your issue, I too need help before it gets worse. I am here to get a few ideas to become more irresistable to my wife. I will be willing to try almost anything.

I understand how frustrating it is to be the one to initiate sex all the time. It works on your self-esteem and you start to wonder if there's something wrong with you or if your partner still desires you.

You say she never initiates, but how does she respond when you initiate? Does she get into it and enjoy the sex once it's going?

One common difference between men and women is that men tend to feel "in the mood" first and then act on it. For a lot of women, acting on it comes first and the in the mood part comes out of that.

This is a big reason why even women who love and enjoy sex may not initiate very often. They have to be already doing foreplay before the libido kicks in.

I feel this way sometimes myself, but I've been having sex long enough and it's important enough to me that I initiate or at least react positively to his advances on faith - knowing that even if I'm not in the mood right now, I will be in time.

This takes a conscious realization and decision on the part of the woman and it's not an easy one. Especially if there are lots of distractions, like small children. When my kids were little I rarely thought about sex and time after time at the END of sex I'd say "why don't we do this more often?" and I'd promise myself to remember for next time but I never did. It was a surprise each time.

Perhaps if you can separate wifely initiation from personal interpretations of how she feels about you it might help. Another thing that might help is to give up the idea that sex should be spontaneous. Make a date. In advance. Build a little anticipation. Give her a chance to transition from daily chores to couple time.

eva_m, I think what you say makes a lot of sense. She has mentioned that once she starts in things are comfortable and fulfilling. I took your advice and made a couples date. Everything went fine. Things got going good, all was over but then she went and turned it off again. She went from loving, sexy, interested to alarm, kids, schedule. I guess I have got to find a way to get her keep the moment going longer. I live for that time. Life is too short to keep switching off the good moments as fast as you can. Am I making any sense? I have told her in the past we need to slow down and enjoy now and not start up new all the time. I guess I am getting tired, I do see hope with your words and thank you. Anytime.

Iam 50 and my husband is 54.My period is continued yet.My husband has erection problem and his doctor prescribed him Viagra or cialis.After taking viagra,his erection problem is solved and his penis also is going to more bigger and harder than before.Now his penis is about 8 inch in his full erection.When he want sexual intercourse he does so many activities like kissing in my lips,body ,boobs and vagina,pushing my both boobs.After little while my vagina starts to flow more liquids then my husband starts intercourse.I feel more comfortable and injoy but he can't stay more than two minutes in intercourse.
I am always unsatisfied and he can't start second time.
He can't tell this problems to his doctor.Is there any solution for this problems?I want reply please.

Can you orgasm by masturbating by yourself or with your husbands help. Maybe he could satisfy you first then have intercourse.If he ejaculates too soon a doctor could prescribe medicine for that condition.Here is a link to an article that may give you more information.
http://www.hisandherhealth.com/mens-sexual-health/premature-ejaculation/index.html