His and Her Health

Hello. I am a new member on this site. I have been looking around online about my question but just haven't found anything.

Here is my dilemma. I started talking to this guy online. He actually first messaged me through Myspace and we have been talking for almost a week now. The other day we were talking and I don't remember how it was brought up, but he mentioned that he does not like oral sex. His exact words were, "well since we r on that one i am not a big fan of oral sex." I asked him why this was and he said, "i dont know just never really care for it, i rather do the real thing and use a women whole body then just one part; so i dont really do oral and dont expect it in return."

We have not met yet but plan to do so later on. Him and I have lots and lots in common and if we start a relationship, I don't know if this would bug me.

I, myself enjoy giving and receiving oral sex.

Am I wrong to be upset about this?

I don't know how much it would affect me later on if we dated for a long time and such.

I also understand that it's not the end of the world, but I, like I said, really enjoy oral sex. I do not know if I could date a man that doesn't.

But I also am thinking that if this relationship turns out to be a long lasting soul mate type of relationship, should I let it bother me.

You are probably projecting to much in the future. Don't dwell on it until you have met in person and see how you get along. And do be very careful.

Sexual compatibility is very important for long term happiness - even between "soul mates."

For couples to make it, they have to be willing to compromise, to be giving, to want to see their partner happy.

Whether he says he likes oral sex right now or not is not the issue so much as how open-minded he is and how he listens and responds to your concerns.

I have been married for nearly 30 years to a man who does not particularly care for oral sex - either direction. I've missed it terribly. But over time he's learned to relax and enjoy receiving it as a part of foreplay - not the main event - and he's tried to give me "special treats" from time to time too. His general openness and willingness to listen has made it much easier to live with it than if just shut me down on the subject.

As the moderator said, it may be too soon to tell. Look for signs that he's thinking about your desires as well as his own as you move forward.

As I read the various responses on sex forums and boards, it always amazes me how different people are. I have always craved oral sex both ways--possibly even more than coitus--but my wife of 43 years thinks its "dirty." Good luck to you and I hope you will be happy.