His and Her Health

How do you determine if the diminished quality of an erection is due to age, medication or condition, i.e. diabetes, high blood pressure?

Deborah, since the diseases you mention can have a direct effect on the quality of an erection ,as can the other conditions, a urologist would have to do an examination to make that determination.

Thanks. He's been to a urologist but I'm also wondering what effects could be attributed to age. He is 61 and overweight. I guess I would not have thought that we would be seeing these changes this early? Maybe that's wishful thinking.

We can't diagnose on the web and we don't know how much you have read about erectile dysfunction so here is a link to our website with articles that may give you more information. Please browse the pages for more articles.
http://www.hisandherhealth.com/mens-sexual-health/impotence/index.html

He definitely should get a blood test to see his hormone levels and his cholesterol levels. AS well, diabetes can cause blood flow issues and being overweight can cause feelings of insecurity. So, I agree with the moderator that he needs to see a Md to get some of the potential issues ruled out so that you can narrow down what the problem could be.

The biggest shock for men (speaking for myself) is when their little partner fails to rise to the occasion at a moments notice. Most men's testosterone begins a slow but sure decline, starting sometime in their 40's. This is usually noticeable as having consequences anywhere between late 40s to mid fifties. A few lucky men notice little change until more advanced age. Much of the most objectionable effects can be reduced by convincing the kids to move out, applying discipline and getting proper sleep (hormone levels recover greatly during sleep), maintaining weight and exercise. If a guy has failed to maintain proper condition until this age, then he's likely paying now, with *some* possible permanent consequences. However, much is gained by reversing old habits and becoming fit, along with the above measures. If the aforementioned don't quite put the rigidity back in the little spine, then Cialis to the rescue....sort of. Cholesterol levels should be checked, as well as any endocrine issues (he should see an endocrinologist for a routine exam).

Its funny; when hormone levels creep down, people tend to forget the exhilaration they experienced with sex. When my wife and I can only find time after the witching hour, I pop a Cialis so as not to have to worry about fatigue. But, I wouldn't miss an opportunity for a liaison for anything. On that note; I have a different situation. My wife went through menopause over the last 2 years and no longer has that internal clock, suggesting to retreat with me behind closed doors. Sex is hardly ever without my prompting, and this such a disappointment. In a previous life (not so long ago), she was a gymnast in bed. She loves me and does this out of duty now...and this is taking quite some getting used to. Yes, I've advised she see a gynecologist, but roles are reversed in this house. I'm the one who pours over Internet articles on health and sees a doctor voluntarily. She has resisted seeing a gyn, since the last boy was born 18 years ago.

back to your situation: Make him sit down and talk. Tell him firmly that you love only him and will accept no substitutes. Tell him that the way things are now versus how you remember the past makes you sad for two of you. Ask him to take the steps necessary to get fit, and directly discuss the situation with a doctor. Plan some trips. Get a hold of some Cialis. Do something for yourself; get a new hair style, get extra fit, talk to a consultant about clothes that compliment your figure. Heavens, if you've done all that and have a few extra bucks and if the idea appeals to you: get a boob job...get a face lift...Do whatever ignites that molten core of yours. Other age related transitions are just around the corner for us, honey. Time will certainly overcome us down the line, but not without protest. Good luck....

Sincerely;
Vertigo (just turned 55)

Vertigo, welcome to the forums. You might want to check out the many articles about menopause at www.redhotmamas.org and www.menopausewise.com.