His and Her Health

...(otherwise known as "An FSD Lazy Strategy of Getting-Off-The-Hook", or "The FSD Guide to Win-Win Situational Theory").<P>This is both for the benefit of The Ladies Who Don't Enjoy Intercourse, and for any spouse of the male members of this forum who would be receptive to the following suggestions: <P>1) Find his penis.<P>2) When penis is aroused, put your hand firmly around it, in the middle (I said "Firmly", not "Vice-griplike"). Enjoy the feel of it in your hand. Remember: this is YOUR penis, ladies! (If you haven't already, FIND a NAME FOR IT).<P>3a) Holding the same part of the penis in your hand all the time, start moving the outer skin of the penis up and down. <BR>3b)Now this is where you need to make a modicum of effort: if he is very aroused, the tip of the penis gets swollen and dark purple. Your job is to keep the tip of the penis swollen and dark purple.Do whatever it takes: you may have to undress (yawn, effort!), you may have to sing, you may have to stand on your head (even more "yawn, effort"). Whatever. You will probably need to leave the light on. <P>(They like to look.)<P>4)Start moving the outer penis skin up and down slowly, then when you notice the tip of the penis becoming responsive, speed up the movement.<BR>The final few movements before ejaculation should be the fastest of all. (But no need to get Frenzied or Violent or anything - good grief, what a waste of energy last thing at night!). <BR>5) Now, ideally I think that the whole Event should be one smooth, continuous event starting with a little pianissimo and ending in a nice crescendo. (No! Crescendo is NOT the Spanish for "Knocking the vase off the table"). However, occasionally, Mr. Penis may not be feeling very well and you might do well not to... um... well..Hammer the point home too strongly (so to speak). Mr. Penis is the ultimate boss here: he don't want to come, he don't want to come.<P>So you try and Coax(go back to step 3b).<P>One way of coaxing the penis is to gently stroke with the fingers that smooth area between his testicles and his anus.Sometimes they even like the area surrounding the anus to be gently stroked.<P>Or try and sing In Tune this time.<P>If all of the above doesn't work, well, Mr. Penis will simply want to retire and go to bed. With Dignity. (So no post-mortems, you hear? Just be grateful you got off the hook.)<P>Now, that's my contribution. I'm sure the rest of you ladies (and men) have plenty more to add to the whole topic of hand-jobs, and I strongly encourage anyone who wishes to add, subtract from, or multiply any of the above, to go ahead and do so.<P>Have a nice evening.<P>

Some excellent instructions for a great handjob are in The Big O by Lou Paget. Diagrams, even. Actually, she has excellent instructions for just about everything.<P>In my experience with men, there isn't much variation in a top-quality blowjob, at least once you get past the foreplay part of it. It's a very particular technique (especially the breathing) and it's universally appreciated. Handjobs, on the other hand, really vary according to the man's masturbation style. Not that you can't add your own style, but a good way is to ask him to show you how he does himself, and then watch carefully and learn.

From a male perspective, form of stimulation would go a long way. Particularly knowning that my wife has FSD and that intercourse is painful, but the fact that there's enough thought to bringing some release to your mate really demonstrates a lot. Incidentally, even if it doesn't result in an orgasm would still be appreciated.<P>I would add two things, a smile, followed by a simple kiss on the lips/cheek followed with an "I love You" and a towel (to wipe up afterwards).

Actually, TWO darned towels (Exasperated sigh)!<P>Or, (blushing confession..) the T-shirt torn off him just before the Event.

My husband asked me to hum while giving a blowjob. I felt kindof rediculous, (OK, ok, really rediculous!) But he seemed to get a kick out of it, so I pretended that I did, too.