His and Her Health

I've been having intercourse since I was 19 years old (now 22). I have only been with my b/f, and he is rather 'thick'. Well, ever since the first time I had intercourse, I have had pain. The pain first begins during penetration (almost like I have a tear at the very bottom of my vagina). The pain goes away most of the time during actual intercourse, but then once we are done, i begin to spot when I urinate and it feels like I have a cut (like salt into an open wound) on the very bottom of my vagina. I have tried many things, such as not having him not touch the bottom of my vagina, but it's always the initial penetration that hurts. Also, my doctor had me taking some medication w/estrogen in it, but that didn't work very well either. She did mention, however, that I was thin down there. Does anyone have any suggestions? Sometimes when I used lube, such as Astroglide, I wouldn't feel the inital pain at first, but I would still be sore afterwards..but not spotting, just a little tender. Perhaps I need to try stretching out my vagina? Also, I have sex so infrequently (mainly b/c he doesn't want to hurt me - he says it feels like he's "raping me") that I'm afraid it won't stay stretched. Does anyone think that perhaps it's just his size and maybe I need to use more lube? I am on birth control (Ortho) so maybe I am just really dry. Also, sometimes when he attempts to penetrates me, he brings in some of my vagina 'lips' and that really hurts...is there anything I can do about that?

You may want to look into Vulvodynia. It causes painful intercourse and is felt on the area you're referring to during and after intercourse. Since you've been having the problem for a while now, I would say it's not the stretching thing. You could also not be lubed enough and when your boyfriend enters, he tears the skin at the bottom of your vagina. If you don't allow the skin time to heal, it will continue to hurt and tear. I would suggest the possibility of Vulvodynia do your gynocologist and mention the constant tearing. You can also do research of your own on Vulvodynia. There are several websites available.<BR>Best of luck to you.<P>Hollywood

Also, sometimes when he attempts to penetrates me, he brings in some of my vagina 'lips' and that really hurts...is there anything I can do about that?<P>What I do about that is put my hand down and hold the lips out of the way until he is all the way in.<BR>

I too had similar problems I bet I went to 10 different doctors until one night after being married for 9 years everything in my world got completely turn around. After having sex I got up to go to the bathroom and the pain hit me so hard that I fainted. I was rushed to the emergency room and there was were I met my guardian angel. The doctor on duty admitted me ran some test and found that I had fibroid cysts.<P>He operated a week later and my sex life has never been better.He said that fibroids are more common than people think but for some reason some doctors dont even check women for them.But thanks to him my husband and I are having the best time of ours lifes.<BR>The next time you go to the doctor ask him/her about that possibility.<P>GOOD LUCK!

hi, i read your post, and well...you are not alone! i guess neither am i. I am 21, starting haveing sex at 18 with my b/f who is now my husband. he is the only person i ahve ever been with, and ever since the first day we had sex it has been hell. the pain never stops, and each time we have sex it feel like the first time. now we only have sex once a month becuase he too tells me he feels like he is raping me, becuase i just lay there in pain. i went to a GYN and he told me that i ahve some scar tissue at the opening of my vagina, and that is why it hurts to have sex. he said the pain doens't cease because the penis is constantly putting pressure on the trapped nerve that is under the scar tissue. he tried to give me some cream with some hormones in it to make the skin stronger...blah, blah, blah. but it hasn't worked. he also said i coudl have surgery to cut the tissue out. he said the whole process woudl only take 20 mins and cost $2000. but i am still on a quest for more opinions, considering he was the only Dr out of 7 to actaully give me a reason other than "yeast infection". maybe you should ask your Dr about possible scar tissue due to tearing, it's worth a shot i guess. and if you find out anything please email me. our situations seem to be oddly identical. good luck. if you have any more questions or concerns please feel free to email me. God bless.<P><BR>*NOTE:e-mail addresses can be found in the poster's profile when provided by the poster.<BR><p>[Note: This message has been edited by NEWSHE Moderator]

Sounds a bit like vulvar vestibulitis. There is a yahoo group on it, but I think if I post the website it would get removed. There are some stories on there that sound like yours. I'm copying a post from a woman there...but I don't know if it will remain. Try a google search for it (or even a yahoo search), and you should find something.<P>This was her post:<BR>hi everyone. for too long now, my gynecologist has<BR>tried without success to determine my condition, so<BR>after some online research, i'm now thinking i have<BR>the "vulvar vestibultis syndrome." i've located a<BR>doctor here in new york, but as the visit will be<BR>quite pricey, with more necessary visits to follow, i<BR>want to see if anyone out there has experienced<BR>similar symptoms. <P>in the absense of yeast infections or std's, i get<BR>small (but painful!) cuts/tears from intercourse, even<BR>with the regular use of a lubricant. i use aloe vera<BR>gel on the cuts, but they still last a good 4 days. <BR>other than the cuts from intercourse, i have no other<BR>abnormal symptoms in the vaginal area. <P>this has been happening the last two years or so, and<BR>it's driving me nuts!! on another message board,<BR>someone suggested that it's because i've been on the<BR>pill since a young age (since 17, i'm now 30), and<BR>hormones at a young age doesn't allow the vagina to<BR>fully mature. <P>does anyone have any thoughts and/or suggestions? <P>

Thanks everybody...it helps to hear that I'm not the only person out there with these problems! Thank you erussello for your post...You problem sounds exactly like mine..my doctor gave me the same creme and gave me the same speal about the surgery, which sounds a little scary, considering who's to say that'll even work.<P>Thanks everybody!<BR>

Hi. I have one suggestion. I used to be sore after sex and rarely have orgasms during sex without a lot of 'help'. Now, after 20 years of marriage, we are having the best sex ever! The difference? I learned that men who are circumcised 'do it' differently. They rub in-and-out too much. Now my hubby presses against me with shorter, gentler strokes, and voila! No pain and great orgasms! See the book, 'Sex as Nature Intended it'.

I have Vulvar Vestibulitis Syndrome (VVS), which is a type of vulvodynia. Essentially, my sensitivity is in the area of the vulva surrounding the entrance to the vagina, and penetration is so intensely painful -- like I'm being ripped apart -- that I just can't bear sex. It's been about 10 months now since the last time I had sex. (I am newly married...15 months.) <P>Also, the first time I had sex with my husband -- my only partner -- I was torn in two places, one at the 6 o'clock position and one at the 8 o'clock position. These tears do continue to open up each time I have sex and cause spotting. Clearly, it's not a matter of how much time I give myself to heal. <P>My gynecologist referred me to a doctor who specializes in the field of vulvovaginal disorders. He confirmed the diagnosis of VVS and I am scheduled to have a surgery called a vestibulectomy next week...January 30. During the surgery, the doctor will also cut down into the perineum (where the worst tear is) and remove that damaged skin. This, he says, will allow it to heal.<P>Definitely do some research and have some lengthy conversations with your GYN. If you live in the Washington, DC area, I suggest you contact Dr. Andrew Goldstein at the Center for Vulvovaginal Disorders.

I have VVS too. Not to freak you out before your surgery...but have you really tried all other options? I don't mean to be condesending by saying that, because I'm sure you've looked into a lot of things...but surgery is a big step. It can make things better and be a complete success. You may notice no change at all. It can actually make you worse. I'm on a mailing list at yahoo about this, and there are some people on it who have had some very negative experiences with surgery. I just want to make sure that you are informed about this and that you've exausted all other options first (biofeedback, estrogen creams, etc). If you do go ahead, then good luck and I hope this works out well for you. Like I said, some women have wonderful success and I truly hope you are one of them.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Shadow22:<BR><B>I've been having intercourse since I was 19 years old (now 22). I have only been with my b/f, and he is rather 'thick'. Well, ever since the first time I had intercourse, I have had pain. The pain first begins during penetration (almost like I have a tear at the very bottom of my vagina). The pain goes away most of the time during actual intercourse, but then once we are done, i begin to spot when I urinate and it feels like I have a cut (like salt into an open wound) on the very bottom of my vagina. I have tried many things, such as not having him not touch the bottom of my vagina, but it's always the initial penetration that hurts. Also, my doctor had me taking some medication w/estrogen in it, but that didn't work very well either. She did mention, however, that I was thin down there. Does anyone have any suggestions? Sometimes when I used lube, such as Astroglide, I wouldn't feel the inital pain at first, but I would still be sore afterwards..but not spotting, just a little tender. Perhaps I need to try stretching out my vagina? Also, I have sex so infrequently (mainly b/c he doesn't want to hurt me - he says it feels like he's "raping me") that I'm afraid it won't stay stretched. Does anyone think that perhaps it's just his size and maybe I need to use more lube? I am on birth control (Ortho) so maybe I am just really dry. Also, sometimes when he attempts to penetrates me, he brings in some of my vagina 'lips' and that really hurts...is there anything I can do about that?</B></font><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>First of all I would say that your luck your bf has a good gauge. We have opposite problem as I'm rather cavernous compared to his relatively thin penis. The best thing i cann suggest is some comprehensive foreplay, involving extensive oral stimulation to make you as aroused as possible. Basically the more juices the less pain - right? I guess one concellation is that once hes in and the soreness has gone you have good sex and reach orgasm relatively easily. Hope this is some help.