His and Her Health

So I've been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years now in a long distance relationship with many extended visits. We've been having sex for almost a year.

From the very start, I have not been able to tense up at ALL during sex or he says it hurts and has to pull out, even losing his erection sometimes. It hasn't been an issue since I still get plenty of pleasure from the sex but I'd really like to orgasm sometime.

He says that if I were to tense up all the way during sex it would cause some serious pain. He even said that if I tense up to orgasm while he has two fingers in me, it hurts his fingers.

I can't orgasm without tensing up. I've been masturbating regularly since the age of 11 so I know how I work and I've never had any problems orgasming. Yeah I get a little performance anxiety in front of my boyfriend at times but it doesn't usually stop me, it just takes a little longer.

I think I should also mention, I'm a very tiny person. I'm only 5'0" and around 90 lbs. He's a foot taller than me and pretty well endowed. Usually the first day we are together, I am really tight but that gets better. I also had problems after a UTI with painful penetration and painful sex. Switching to a better lubricant has completely solved this problem.

Is it normal for me to have to tense up so hard to orgasm?
Is there any way I can orgasm during sex without hurting him?

I know this is out of place but I didn't know there was such a thing as "too tight". More like "dunno how lucky you are" - both of you. Him sexually. You sexually and later during the post-pregnancy and "incontince?"/urine leakage years - you won't have much of a problem.

Has he used lube with you?

This story is almost a tease!!!

Ahh man, if I was your boyfriend, I'd be backflipping and cartwheeling with a smile from ear to ear.

I already said in my post that I've had to switch lubes since I had pain upon penetration in the past.
And how lucky is he if I can't orgasm during sex because it HURTS him?

Does anyone have some real advice..?