His and Her Health

Last year I was so excited while making out with my boyfriend I got on top of him. After 2 thrusts he freaked out and pulled out of me yelped " ow that hurts!" (Note* This was the first time I ever initiated going on top AND I am a 5foot4inch 100lb female while he is 5foot11 and 185lbs)

He then layed on his side and was trying to (i guess) ease his pain. He said "you have to becareful because you were hurting me"
I replied" im sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you"
Then he went silent for 2 minutes atleast.

I was soooo shocked at his negative reaction and didn't know what to do. So I went to the bathroom and took a shower...after I came out we just went to bed and never talked about it again.

This incident that happened one year ago still haunts me because I am afraid to take any type of sexual initiation. When we have intercourse 98% of the time he initiates and while we are making out, he has most of the control.

There are moments when I want to get back on top of him again but I am so scared to "hurt" him. It was the most awkward and uneasy feeling I ever had when he yelped out "ow, that hurts!"

sigh...

since then, our sexual appetite for each other is still strong (we are both in our 20's and extremely attracted to each other) I am trying to analyze what has happened last year and what I can do in the future (especially if im going to spend the rest of my life with him)
Is this an ego thing that he wants to have sexual control? Or did I reallly hurt his penis?


I would really appreciate advice on what you think about the above and what can be done mentally and physically about it.


Thanks in advance...

The only way you will know is if you ask him. It sounds like you were having fun and got too rough and bent him the wrong way. The penis can get broken through rough sex and just because you hurt him by accident doesn't mean that you have no more say in what goes on during sex. Now is the time in your relationship to practice good communications between you two.

Talk to him! Explain to him that while you do enjoy him having control you would enjoy having control as well. The only way to know what happened is for him to tell you. More than likely his penis was just bent the wrong way like Joseph said.

If you plan on spending the rest of your life with him then communication is a must and not only in the bedroom.

Hi

I am learning this position myself as my guy likes this a lot and I to my surprise like it too. My fear is I weigh lot more than him and have been afraid that I could hurt him . He has said no I could'nt hurt him but I am really scared to relax in that position.I weigh alot and feel very seen in this position. I know he loves me as I am but ...I still feel afraid. I balance my weight on my folded legs by his side but I hesitate when he wants me to lie forward on him. I have rolled off when he wants me to do that....is there a way to position myself so I don't hurt him?

Here is a link to an article on our website that may interest you

http://www.hisandherhealth.com/med-facts/med-facts/is-a-penile-fracture-truth-or-myth.html

Oh, I don't know how it could hurt him; but I am pretty sure that (even if it is true) was just one time thing that could be improved by talking to him and just starting more carefully in future.
Otherwise, he might have the issues my dear love used to have - fear of losing control and losing masculinity through that. I had to have careful conversations and provide reassurance in my boyfriend's performance for about a year... until he finally felt that it is OK for woman to be in control too and it doesn't take anything from his skills.
And you know what, now me on top (with him sitting) is our favorite position of all. It helps me to find the right, most pleasurable for me angle; it helps him to relax and concentrate on pleasure, and to enjoy seeing my body moving.
So. You are not the only one. If you really want to achieve the best with him - be patient.

I do not see how it could hurt him, I know being on top does not hurt me at all, although I have been with men who were longer/larger and doggie style would not work at all.